The state line is not a white picket fence
The separation of you and me
Does not entail a happy ending

The state line is a loose thread
It is an annoyance of sorts
Ready to unravel us both

The state line is like my two favorite fingers
This landmark and digits cause damage
One to my emotions, and the other to my health

The state line is your mother’s best friend
She knows that there’s no doubt about
Which side we’re both on

I tell my hands to keep to themselves
When your body is so close
Self control comes and goes
When we're all by ourselves

My lungs are on fire
As I hold your shirt to the tip of my nose
There's nothing more than what I desire
You, and you alone

The pulse in my chest quickens and surges
While I see you come and go
I miss you terribly even though
You are my most recent splurge

I grin to myself and my stomach is a balloon
When you're that dashing and grand
I'm whisked away by the touch of your hand
That night, our new moon

Gather up each emotion and label them one by one, boy
Seal infatuation up and store it in the basement
Out of sight, out of mind
Forget what young love really looks like

Sort your feelings into groups, middle child
Throw joy and affection away
Sew anger and harshness into your lungs
Watch the fury spill from your tongue

Sweep the sentiments underneath the rug
This is exactly what I've learned from your mom
Desert that fabric for the next generation
Leave them wondering where they got it from

Never wear your heart upon your sleeve, son
Keep your eyes cold and your heart hard
Don't ever let the tears blur your vision
Be a man, you mindless child

Let her smile fade from your memories, my puppet
I'm the one who's supposed to control your ways
Watch her eyes turn from evergreen to poison
Because you're the one she's bound to betray

His hands are large and strong
I knew this all along
Strong enough to hold me down

Smiles are contagious
His are crooked and malicious
Watching me squirm, crying

My daddy is not safe
I know now because he was taken away
But I thought this form of love was ordinary

I didn't mean to get him in trouble
But I was afraid when his hand was my muzzle
Now everyone looks at me like I'm made of glass

My mom says I can't talk to him
But I just don't get it
He said he wouldn't hurt me

My daddy wears orange
Mom answers his phone call with a look of warning
His clothes are in boxes down in the basement

There's a stack of papers on the counter
That mom's been staring at for the past hour
I think I need to help her with her homework

We make the bed with stains across the mattress
I don't think I can keep up with this practice
I pretend I don't see the guilt in mom's eyes

My mom and I sleep next to each other at night
Because we're both afraid he'll appear in the morning light
Looming over us with his hungry eyes

If I wouldn't have lost
My innocence
I wouldn't have met you
And that's something I wouldn't compromise

I fell asleep on the couch the day
You asked me to be your date
Your hands on my knees
The snow in the trees

Your arms around me before break
Inhaling your scent
Before you made sure I understood
All that you meant

I wake to his whistling
On the couch in the den
His mug full of black coffee
Now empty, he'll get up to fill it again

My grandfather is constant
He has never walked out on me
He has taught me that nonsense
Lies within the person who flees

I have watched him slow with age
His bones have grown weak and frail
I know that he sheds tears offstage
When he looks back on the trials of his tale

My grandfather is water
He flows and ebbs, traveling from place to place
But he has had three otters
To keep him company... just in case

He is a constant imperfect man
Who loves motorcycles and sweets
He's too laid-back to have a plan
But shows up early when we meet

I lie awake and I know he does the same
Staring at the ceiling is one thing we share in common
Sleep has always been like a waiting game
He wishes he could close his eyes more often

My grandfather is constant water
He is changeless and tranquil
I am certain that his love has made me stronger
Even when it appears to be casual

Ignore the size of the portion
This is healthy
Ignorance is bliss

Cut and slice
Count the pieces the knife and fork create
Slip into old routine

Eat one cookie... eat five
Who cares?
You're this shape already

Turn the shower on twice a day
Watch it all wash down the drain
Hate the way you adore the acidic burn

Count the numbers
You're not wiz at college algebra
But you can count the calories, pounds, and body mass

Watch the flab vanish into sweat
Run for two hours a day
Do crunches until your innards explode

Faint in the shower
Forget what time of day it is
Sleep is now nonexistent due to hunger

Ward off the war within your belly
Empty is clean
Pain is beauty

Your teeth are rotting
From the lies about your meal plan
And your citric stomach

Compare yourself to all of them
Observe the way they enjoy it
They love the freedom of cuisine

Your mouth is watering
It's a good thing food cannot travel
Through a television screen

Cry at family gatherings and holidays
Your mother's eyes glaring across the table
While you wish you could vacate the skin you're in

Uncertainty is your best friend at this point
Indecisiveness and hatred are nothing out of the ordinary
Your mere thoughts are a whirlwind

And there's nothing romantic about it

Nothing new
My first poem is being published
And it's about you

Not a fresh word to write
You continue to sleep in Indiana
And I'm here every night

My stanzas are dry
It's hard to write about heartbreak
Without the terror in sight

My rhymes come up short
The sound of your voice is slipping my mind
While it used to be what I couldn't ignore

Nothing's new, I swear
These last two years have passed sufficiently
Without you to bend me into squares

I.
Grab my suitcase from the carousel
Lead me through the baggage claim

Take me by the hand
Tell me you would take me anywhere

Hail a taxi and rush
Because he's already got the meter running

We're like Chicago
I love the city but you hate the hustle

II.
Walk the suburbs with me
Hold my hand down the sidewalks

Drive the BMW to brunch
Come back in time to give the cleaning lady a key

Sleep on a field of feathers
And wake up to coffee brewing

We're like Wheaton
I despise the deep pockets but you love the atmosphere

III.
Take the train from city to county roads
Drive and drive until traffic is nonexistent

Show me your favorite spot by the lake
Dare me to jump in when I fear the blue waters

Stay up with me all night
Hold me while sunlight floods your room

We're like your hometown
I'm your family and you're the charisma

IV.
I'll drive north through sleet and snow
And meet my mother for a warm embrace

We'll make the couch our home
Nesting under a blanket and promise

Ice cream in January is nothing out of the ordinary
For you and me

We're like the town I grew up in
You're the summer breeze and I'm the familiarity

V.
Together, we're a city
We're the ups and downs

You're the broken windows and I'm the noise
We're the wineries and over-priced pastries

You're the quiet and I'm the prying relative
But together, we make any city an adventure

She was not just "asking for it"
Her skirt showing her long limbs
She is not one to submit
Or to give up when told to quit

She will not stand for your catcall
For your whistle and "hey there, doll"
You should not be appalled
Because she really can rule it all

She is fierce and she is true
She's neither higher nor lower, but she is equal to you
Her body is not just something you can tear down and *****
So, pack your things and say adieu

She is feminine
As well as pure adrenaline
Cease to examine this "specimen"
And become a true gentleman

He could cut his name into my skin
And I wouldn't mind
Because I would be his

He could rip out my blonde locks
And I wouldn't mind
Because he would run his fingers through my hair

He could slap me
And I wouldn't mind
Because his palms would caress my cheeks

He could curse my name
And I wouldn't mind
Because my name would leave his lips

Choose your words carefully, now
Stick a coffee filter
Between your mind and mouth
Please try to control what comes out

Hold your tongue
Staple that muscle
To the pinks of your gums
Please just do it for my mom

End the R-word
Print it in a million books
And watch the pages burn
Put a stop to the harmful looks

Terminate "*******"
It isn't a synonym for "absurd"
It's not just a filler-word
My cousin is not to be discarded

If I could eliminate
The word I hate
I would cut the letters up
And hide them away from the ones that I love

Dispose of this nasty term
Cut this expression down
Watch this word infest with worms
And let the death be the talk of the town

This isn't a date in history
This isn't a place of residence
18
92

The chart is engraved into my memory
Preventing my transition into elephant
18
92

The yellow muck underneath my skin
The index on which my life depends
18
92

The ribs I traced during sleepless nights
The weight at which I shriveled up inside
18
92

The numbers I crossed my heart with
The numbers I wished to die with
18
92

The moments when I drowned myself
Flamed the courage to help myself

I.
See these marks on my fingers?
They're not from my bark
They're my bite's fight with dinner

II.
These cuts and bruises
Have calcium to blame
And the food my body refuses

III.
The scars on my middle and pointer
Remind me of the acid burn
That made my image so much lovelier

So much planning goes into
Events like these

Seating charts and color schemes
Catering and dress sizes
Music and a large centerpiece

Cheers to her!

What am I?
The cake on the table?
The bodies on the dance floor?

Here's to her!

Am I the veil on her head?
The lipstick on your neck?

I was probably just the ice on your car
I was probably just the tiny freckles on your arms

While you take her to bed
And I recall things left unsaid

I'll try to forget everything
Seeing that you don't need me

My porcelain skin is no match
For the velvety brown of yours
Your soft chocolate eyes are lovelier
While my greens are merely cold

And I should know better than to refuse
To wipe my face on the floor
I should be more of a lady (or a nun)
If I'm to be all you're asking for

You reference the way I was raised
A single mother and an only daughter
And you're sure that I will lead astray
Your potential grandsons and granddaughters

Know that your son is all
The good you exclaim him to be
But he sees the light in these witch's eyes
Where you see death and greed

I now understand that I will never
Be righteous enough in your sight
And it is because of your background
That you accuse and criticize

You will always be his mother
Who cares for him nonetheless
But I will stay his lover
Even while I don't pass your test

You're the evergreen beside my house
Standing tall and sure
Neither bending nor bowing
As the storm passes through

You're the first rain during a drought
Your streams reassure
Crystal water allowing
The old to change to new

You're the early morning sunlight
Peeking through the sheets
Turning skies from dark to light
Shaking the world of sleep

You're the quiet of the night
Steadfast and distinct
Whispering to me despite
The others fast asleep

My mother taught me
How to clean clothes
How to iron
How to fold

She showed me
How to clean the stains

I wish she would have
Showed me
How to take away
The stains made by you

The rips
The tears
The scars
And the blemishes made

In my memory
All because of you

I told the stars how lucky they were
To always have someone to look at

They were never alone
No matter where the earth was in space

I told them how lucky they were
To be associated with beauty

Because no one else is constantly told
How beautiful they are

But I know
Stars explode

And I like to think it's because they can't go on
With all the kind words spoken to them

Or maybe looking at someone but not being able to touch them
Caused the stars too much pain

Some stars become black holes
And I asked a dark star why it had become so

It explained that sometimes life
Makes even the brightest stars bitter

And being so positive for years and years
Had taken its toll

I wondered if the newly born black hole
Had any regrets on choosing the rest of its course

It read my mind and told me that
It wished it would have exploded into something new

Maybe to form new galaxies
Or to create new planets

Instead of ******* the life out of
Everything around it

I'm sure of the strength in your arms
I'm familiar with their harsh words
Their daggers sent to cause me harm
All of our "dreams deferred"

I know of every freckle on your face
I've seen many of their disgusted looks
But we've obtained our own pace
There's no need to go by the books

You know, you really are my best friend
You're the only one I don't get sick of
Your jumbled words are mine to comprehend
Even when you don't believe they're enough