How bad can I be? I’m part of you!
I do the things that you wouldn’t do.
I talk to that girl, I flirt with that guy.
Why, without me you might as well die!
I am the fun that you throw away,
the memories you burn at the end of the day.
I am the things that you wouldn’t brave,
the people you ****** and still couldn’t save.
Why am I here, well that’s simple too.
I’m all the fun parts of boring old you.

I can't hold it back, they're too loud to bear...
"If it's all in your head, then why even care?"
They scream every word, every day, every night...
"If that's really true, why do you seem alright?"
It's all just a show, to escape from the pain...
"But what purpose would it serve, what would you gain?"
It muffles the sounds that terrorize my dreams,
And hope that one day I can quiet the screams...

Untitled entry, devoid as the space that fills my screen, killing words in their place.

Untitled entry, like clay to the mind, a blank white canvas with no art confined.

Untitled entry, once empty now filled with all of the words that it had once killed.

Untitled entry, filled up to the top, the words keep coming, but the screams won't stop.

Untitled entry, hard as I pray, the screaming continues, and wont go away.

Untitled entry, this world's not the same, for under the screams, they whisper my name.

Untitled entry, I can't let it go, of knowledge they speak, I just have to know.

Untitled entry, I know that they lie, to gain their knowledge, they say I must die.

Untitled entry, but do I dare tread, upon hallowed ground, reserved for the dead?

Untitled entry, curiosity won, their knowledge now mine, through my life undone.

Untitled entry, the words make no sound, the space in between is where we are found.

Untitled entry, no knowledge just dreams, tune out their whispers, ignore their screams.

Untitled entry, just please save yourself, beware my mistakes, no knowledge is wealth.

I wish I could get rid of these nightmares. Brand new hells await each night that I tread upon the hallowed ground of the dreaming. Flashes of lives so alien to me that I have little choice but to lay back and accept the inevitable. Every step in that realm is a new life, with new fears and new memories, like I've slipped into the forgotten moments of a life besides mine. Worse than the nightmares, or even the agonies of others, are the first moments upon waking. The moments I reach for someone who isn't there, the fresh feeling of loss starting every day. I wish I could get rid of these nightmares.

I long for the sleep I am so heinously denied, the subtle and sinking embrace of true rest. The never-ending expanse of ebony satin, staining the existence on the back of my eyelids. I long not for a brief escape, but an eternal one. I chase the fleeting feeling of nonexistence that plagues my conscious mind, deriving from my small excursions into the nocturnal haven called sleep. I am weighed down, neigh drowned by my need to relentlessly pursue this venture. Yet, I feel it is an empty venture all the same.

Ticking away the time in an effort most surreal,
he holds his heart within his hands waiting for it to feel.
There he sits awaiting as time runs all but out,
his heart now broken not from pain but lack of love throughout.

She looked so small when she slept.

The bed wasn't big by any means, I could've easily stretched myself across the entirety of it and she would still find a perfect spot to curl up next to me.

Her hair was funny.

I would wake to see traces of brownish blonde hair before anything else. It would tickle my nose as I breathed deeply, taking in her scent and letting it remind me that I'm awake.

So beautiful.

A feeling would go through me as I see her there, snuggled up against me. A warm heat that quickly spreads and turns into a dull ache. Sometimes it would pass. Sometimes I would forget it by pulling her close and breathing. She smelled like shade on a hot summer day.

Sometimes I couldn't handle the feeling, like having her was too much.

I worried about her. I worried about what she would give up, being with me, as well as whether or not she was happy. I worried so much.

When I held her, she felt so small, as if she would be lost by morning if I didn't keep hold through the night. So small, that one day I might lose her, and in a way lose myself.

I wondered if there is any reason for her to wake.

As long as I could, I would be that reason.

Forever.