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all for you May 2018
all for you
is just that
all for you
but maybe not you
and maybe a you far off in the future
but it's you
you i don't know yet
or maybe i do know you
but it's for you
because it's all for you
all of this
all of us
all of these
lead to you
everything i have ever done
everything i do
everything i will do
will lead me to you
so here it is

it's all for you
maybe i'll find you some day soon // love always
all for you May 2018
i should've known
stolen glances
were just that

stolen
why do i keep looking too deep into everything? // love always
all for you Apr 2018
Him
he was remarkable
he was intelligent
he was kind
he was...the worst thing that ever happened to me
please get out of my life // love always
  Feb 2018 all for you
helena alexis
going back to
the person who
made your life
toxic is like
re-watching your favorite movie
in hope of a different
ending each time
all for you Feb 2018
When I was 5 I wanted to be a doctor
Until I realized I cried every time I needed a shot
Winced when I saw someone fall
And wanted to ***** when I saw blood.

When I was 7 I wanted to be a veterinarian
Until I realized I was more connected to animals
Than I was to humans
And I cried every time my dog so much as limped.

When I was 10 I wanted to be a teacher
Until I realized I could never let my students go
And would be too concerned about what they’re going through
That I wouldn’t even know what to teach them.

When I was 13 I wanted to be a lawyer
Until I realized I shook every time something bad happened
And if I ****** at arguing with my brother
How could I argue for someone’s future?

When I was 15 I wanted to be a CEO
Until I realized people would have to know my name
And I’d have to tell them what to do
When I didn’t even know what I was doing.

When I was 17 I wanted to be an author
Until I realized I couldn’t even read my own work
Let alone let my family and friends read it
Let alone let strangers read it.

When I’m grown up
All I really want to be
Is so content with where I’m at
That I don’t need to look too far in the future.

When I grow up
I just want a roof over my head
A job I love
And a family that loves me.

When I grow up
I don’t care what I’m doing
Or where I am
As long as I’m happy.
i think i'll end up ok // love always
all for you Jan 2018
You look like home
Like my dad’s hugs
And my mom’s kisses
And family cuddles

You look like home
Like the beaten down couch
And my brother’s music
And my sister’s paintings

You look like home
Like dark orange walls
And just a little too cold
And with some hard edges

You look like home
Like the torn up garden
And my dog’s face when we leave
And winds whistling around the corners

You look like home
And I don’t want to go home
Why couldn't you have made me a new home? // love always
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