The feeling one gets
From swallowing food down the wrong pipe
That erupts in coughs of desperate breaths

That is how my love bursts for you

As if short gasps spastic
Longing for oxygen
Toxic
is the lack of the air you reside in

Eyelids filling with biological tears
Uncontrollable in designation
I must stop here and stand for a while
To regain my composure

A pause;
T'was a shock that made me lose all routine reason
Normally
I am quite skilled at delivering food gastronomically

It was the thought of thee looking directly at me
Made me choke and lunge for the particles
No one can see

A fit of admiration
I have no constraints
Nor restraints
Nor act tame
To disguise this repertoire,  

All I can do is stand far
And sit in recovery
Wondering thusly
If these bursts of desire
Will take my breath away
Once more.

Before 23:59 on December 31
I was certain,
About my wasted feelings and hopes.
Love that was meant to be handed to the longing heart,
And not yours was put into waste.
I was certain I had messed it up.
And that was true.

I spent too much time in stagnation and thinking about you
When I wasn't in your thoughts.
I felt happy to leave my broken peaces behind.
And I couldn't ask for more.

My yesterday's meditation cured the little scratches that still ached.
I was revived and drowned into happiness.

I left my silly thoughts behind,
And am happy that you in my mind no more.
And in my own tight arms I am happy.

Today is 20:20 January 1
And I feel liberated from the thoughts of you that captured me with unforgiving claws.

You don't get to choose who you fall in love with, she says. For most, this isn't true. Millions of people know who they want to end up with for the rest of their lives. They want someone who would love them beyond what one is capable of. Someone who will tell them they mean the whole world for them. Someone who would take the risk, catch and fall. A lot of people make definite images about who they plan on falling in love with.

I didn't.

I agreed with what you whispered that night while we were on our phones, waiting to see who gets knocked out of their senses and fall soundly asleep first. I thought of it over and over and heck, it made sense. I was out of your preferences. You were too good to be mine. Yet you were madly in love with me and I was madly in love with you—

But then, why would I be surprised? You eventually left.

You came in like an earthquake, shaking my thoughts and mixing my feelings with what I stand for and I was left in a horrendous state—too damaged to ever be fixed. A passing moment you were, but what devastation you have caused. I guess, you really don't get to choose who you fall in love with. Because no matter how seemingly perfect our love was for each other, left I was with nothing but a crack right in my heart.

-------------

I once learned that Love Waves were the most destructive surface waves ever to occur, I said.

Maybe there's a reason it was named liked that, I thought seconds after as you turned back and walked away.

keeping love away due to the pain you've felt in the past is no solution to your problems........not everyone can handle loneliness......

Scribbling the pointed tip of a feather
Across the fleeting pages
As if the hand was under someone else's tether
The ink turning to uncontrollable rages

As if the semblance was trapped in a clink
The great facade turned futile
And with that momentarily blink
The genuine thoughts unshackled through doodles

Unlocking the cages
Honest words overflow
Crowding the pages
Inked by the soul