<Insert Poem Here>

<Insert Silent Sympathies Here>

<Insert Spiraling Tenancies Here>
   (Wait...No. Not that.)
<Delete Line>

<Insert Self Doubt Here>

<Insert Friends Here>
   [File Not Found]
::Comment:: What about me?

<Insert Apology Here>

<Insert Regret Here>

<Insert Pain Here>

<Insert Poem Here>


<RvL>

I might seem strong to you,
Truth is,
I'm just too broken to ask for the help I silently need.
How am I still here?
I'm too selfish to remove myself from the equation.
Why are you still here?
Because I lie to myself and tell myself that you are.
Because I'm terrified of losing everything I'll never receive.
Because I live under the assumption that I'm worthless because all past evidence points to it.
Because I'm broken.
And If I ask for help,
I'll probably break you too.
And break myself even further.
Because I'm afraid of everything.
Because I'm not,
Who we think I am.

Begin,
   We see in this moment,

Broken,
   Spoken our ductaped fixes,

The trajectory of the bricks is straight for my heart.

Break apart the arts I've invented in my mind,

Of which you're the inspiration.

Perspiration running down my face,
   As I realize my place in the world.

No space for a broken mind and shrunken heart.

Pull apart the synapses that hold me together,

It's as if,
   Things almost got better...

We all coast to the end of our tracks,
   Via the cracks in our walls.

Who falls through?
   We never know.

It just goes to show,

The most we've ever known,
  is never sleep alone.

~Robert van Lingen

Tomorrow,
   To Borrow Time,
   To sign the lines that resign our lives away,

This is our time.
   Salute,
   And Stand Attention.

For We Are,
   The Next In Line.

~Robert van Lingen

A year ago today,
My heart walked away.

   Left me bare,
Left me rare,

And still I am astray.

   I found the ground beneath my feet,
If only because I fell...

Today,
I wonder,
At the skies and at the thunders,

Which way,
Am I meant to be?

I tried to breathe,
   Nevermore I'd drown'd in the taste of water in my lungs,
Swept away.


I take a step,
   To only be shown the shoes of stone I've worn beneath me ever since,

   Perhaps even longer,
than a year ago today.

A year ago today,
   my heart walked away,
My eyes turned black,
   and I begged my mind to stay.

Though,
   Through all the tears and hopeful prayers,
They haven't yet come back.

Not for lack of trying,

So in high hopes,
   When once again I say,
"A year ago today,"
  My pains will have gone away,
And I will have found,
   That which keeps my demons at bay.

Music in one ear,
Chatter in the other.

An endless stream of thoughts in the other,
A restless mind in the other.

Smother'd by the descending fogs of doubt,
Another moment,
Another fake smile.

I will laugh with you,
as I hide inside.

Otherwise,
under covers,
Today is,
Just like any other.

~Robert van Lingen

Mindpeace,
   My mind plays tricks,
Like the days,
   Coming.

I remembered that I forgot,
   And I smiled inside..
The thought of not thinking of you
   gives me a peace I haven't known in far too long.

For here,
   Is my first day since,
That I forgot about you.

Too many days,
   My haunted months threaten their return.

A cold winter,
   my old friend...

maybe now that I,
   forgot to remember you,

My winter won't be so cold..