in the movies
we are supposed to hate the bad guy.
the villain, the one who ruins everything.
but we continue to watch,
because the bad guy keeps us hooked.
he always leaves us wanting more,
wondering what will happen next.

i get it now.

you've got me hooked.
and i can't escape you.
i don't want to escape you.
you and your twisted ways.

in the bottom of her heart
She knew she would always be in love with him.
their memories will always haunt her
despite how much she tries to erase his memory.
He was her one true love.

He carries bits of stars in his veins
And they illuminate the night sky beside me.
I often tremble out of fear
But his eyes flicker in dark and guide me.

He paints a ray of sunshine through his smile
Although he endure agony but lied me.
He carries ointment of love in his heart
That heal the straches of my soul and delight me.

     ~your smiling queen :)

I will be that hurdle you trip upon,
I am the water you burn in,
I was the drought that drowns you in fire,
as you are the muscle that overpowered me,
the air which flourishes you,
and the rainfall which nourishes you.

I swear I can feel you in my lungs
Like when I'm stressed and take a long drag on a cheap cigarette
Relief
Maybe you're the reason I need relief
But I'll stay in denial for the sake of us
For the sake of my addiction
Maybe the cigarettes are just a metaphor
I'm too young either way

I think I'll fall asleep in an hour
I think I'll be dead in a week
I'm sick of bitter arrogance-
it isn't something unique.
In fact it's kind of grotesque
the way I choose to progress
it's like i'm slowly
cutting from my
feet
and stopping
at my chest.
Do you get it yet?
Do you find it hard to understand?
Am I not what you were looking for
or do I need to be better than I am?
I'm only asking.
I think that's fair.
But then again I'm getting acquainted with
despair.
I tell myself it isn't real.
I try to believe that you care.
But all that goes out the window when
I see you are not there.
It's unusual;
the way I trip
over myself.
Therapists and teachers
always said I needed help.
But I didn't believe them.
Ignorant was how I felt.
Trapped, corner,
isolated-
I was ****** with what was dealt.
Just know that I didn't keep it.
I just walked right on out.
And for every moment
I've been defeated-
at least I wasn't

someone else.

They won’t just touch my soul and set me free
Eagerly will open the deepest of wounds and fest on my worst fears
Harshly undress my faith and crush my hope

Victoriously laugh to celebrate my doom
Bleed me red to suffer in dry tears
Waltz with my ghost to slowly scatter my temple  

Taunt to enliven my mistakes
Proudly glorifying my shames
Only to win a soul that has been defeated

I sense them overstepping my shadow
The monsters catching up with my heart and mind
Will I score the final touchdown or will they devour me whole

Touch so contagious
The poison burns running wild in my veins
Won’t be long for when I am all at once taken away