cig by cig
              i am
                     taking
                             my life away

           one cig at a time
one pulse at a time

so long souvenirs
useless memories
/ red /scars and bruises

It's hard not to
fall in love
with someone

when
they see the
mixed up parts of your
soul.

When
they understand
the darkest and
dustiest
corners of your mind.

When
it's four a.m.
and they call
because
they know you're
not
asleep

Why can people get drunk enough to get you off their mind

i cant

i cant blow you out in smoke and the blood that stains my wrist is only a temporary twist

for you were my 111;11 wish

i love you more than you loved me

and that may have hurt but you leaving was the worst

The night air
kisses my cheeks
but my soul
feels so weak
I'm left in the dark wondering
will you turn the light back on?

You say I'm running from myself
I guess you're right
Maybe I am
All I know is that the reason
I hear my heartbeat so clearly
Is because my chest is hollow

I am made up of layers
Too many layers
As if my skin
Was preparing to survive
Out in dead winter at the South Pole

I'm annoying
  I'm distrustful

    I'm stubborn
       And I'm doubtful

           And secretive

Maybe downright manipulative

   But most of all I'm exhausted

Exhausted of the nothingness
   That I float around in
Exhausted of everything
  That comes and goes
    Ensuring chaos
Exhausted of everything and nothing
  And all things in between
         Exhausted of
                     **living

over hill
autumn moon
and me
rolling on
                
                    
                              no hands
                              wind sing
                              silence
                              fast


rolling thru
cherry blossoms
falling up
like snow


Just Metal:
admiring my bike.
near us, women
cooing a newborn