BladeRunner: Favorites

Aug 2017 BladeRunner

harlee kae

words are my weapon of choice
but you're a man of action
and i think we're constantly
trying to impress each other
with things that impress ourselves

Aug 2017 BladeRunner

2:36am

Aug 2017 BladeRunner

rey

2:36am

its 2:36am

i ran out of my pills yesterday
took the last of 40 with my water
on a saturday morning

sunday
i wake up and lay

i stare at the ceiling for an hour
i fall asleep for another 4

when i awake
i feel empty
and emotionless

i lay in bed for 2 more hours

i finally leave my bed
and run a bath

i lay in the bath in silence
for 1 hour

thinking about nothing
thinking so much

i do my bed
wash the dishes

my chest feels hallow
my hands feel cold

the rest of the day is a daze
an apathetic blur

now i lay awake
at 2:46am
with a pain between my eyes
and a million thoughts in my head

#depression #anxiety #lexapro

Aug 2017 BladeRunner

letter 01

Aug 2017 BladeRunner

rey

letter 01

i fear the death of a loved one more than my own death

i can remember the small moments before hearing of someone's death

i can remember every millisecond

silence
numbness
disbelief

they're saying she killed herself
they're saying she killed herself
they're saying she killed herself

time stops in death

frozen
and
embedded
into my mind
into my life

the mental scars
i carry
a wound that never heals

#death

Aug 2017 BladeRunner

THE BEST

Aug 2017 BladeRunner

Ray

THE BEST

Just because I wish nothing but the best for you, it does not mean that I was not the best for you
It means, you were not the best for me.

#thebest #love #wish #leaving #broken

Aug 2017 BladeRunner

Cursed Clockwork

Aug 2017 BladeRunner

Rebel Heart

Cursed Clockwork

It's 1 A.M.
And I just finished my midnight meal
After my thoughts almost suffocated me
And my demons almost claimed me
I think I can finally go to bed
...
It's 2 A.M.
And here I am again
Lost in the sound of your voice
And the image of your face
Floating inside my head
...
It's 3 A.M.
And I'm trying a bit too hard
to drown out your memories
with my endless tears
Creating a river my eyes bled
...
It's 4 A.M.
And I guess I was a fool to think
I'd get any sleep tonight
Maybe this is it
It's time to go
To finally shut off
All the chaos in my head
...
It's 5 A.M.
And I'm still alive
Somehow
Yet
Forever cursed
To relive the day
Over and Over
And over
Again

Another hidden gem found in the depths of 2013 that I found worthy of resurrecting... ~BM

#bed #night #torture #demons #sleep #insomnia #you #life #depression #chaos

Aug 2017 BladeRunner

My fear or fear me?

Aug 2017 BladeRunner

Remmy

My fear or fear me?

I fear you as you stand there and I sit here
I fear you, you stand there, I sit here
I fear, you stand, I sit
Fear is standing where I sit
Maybe if I stand it sits?
If I stand it sits
I stand it sits
I stand
Now maybe it’ll leave me alone
Maybe it’ll leave me alone
It’ll leave me alone
Me Alone
Alone
The quiet’s not nearly as unnerving as I thought
Nearly as unnerving as I thought
Unnerving as I thought
I thought
Thought
I’m lonely without you standing on me
I’m lonely you’re standing on me
You’re standing on me
You’re on me
You’re me

I like the echo sound it has

#alone #afraid #mental #health

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