"what do you want?"
"I don't know."
"Yes you do. listen to your heart."
"how do I do that?"
"close your eyes and breathe. you'll hear voices. that's your heart talking. what does it say?"
"I don't understand. It says get better. feel better. but i'm not sick."
"what makes you so sure it's talking about you? listen closer. concentrate."
"it says it wants YOU to feel better. it wants you to stop blaming yourself. to feel happy. to be proud."

I don’t live for me anymore
I do what others tell me
I do what I’m supposed to
I live on everyone else’s schedule
Not mine

I am not myself, nor can I be
Because I am living for people other than
Myself

Tick, tock, tick, tock
The minutes pass by
I want to be gone
I’ll be gone soon
I hope to be gone soon
It’ll all be over soon

No one will ever be ok overnight
Healing is a process
Processes take time

Time is irrelevant though
Stop watching the clock
Don’t look at your calendar

Just take a breath
Feel that air in your lungs
Keep doing that
Because somebody loves you... somebody

My mistake
Was loving you too hard.
My regret
Was never telling you
That I needed love back.

I'm a broken soul
Trying to breath
Through the smoke
Of a buring world

i wanna be his angel
and he be the knight
i wanna be his chill
when he will be the netflix
i wanna be his white
and he will be black
i wanna be his
only his
that no one can make me go
for anything at all

xoxo

I contemplate
the wonder of why people
only remember us
when they are in need
only to realize
we only need an umbrella
when it rains