>walkin in the rain, footsteps shake, head throbs, but I still hear your silent echoes as if they follow me in the dark, my whispers are silent thunders, as if screaming in the past, it won't bring you back.

<I walk on, mud at my feet. Stepping to the trail of my own weathered beat. Nature touches my senses and the space between.

>Always in my headspace, cannot get out, still stuck, cannot move.
Though I found a way out, but you never go away, so I guess I gotta stay. I hope someday I make it out alive, whether it burns or not.

<I'll feel the flames reach higher as I gasp for air
I hope the rain comes and washes away the pain and I can dance freely again
with the sun.

>The sun in my arms, I got no space for air, breathing frantically, I hold out my last to you. But in the distance, as my voice stops, I see a shadow, squinting, eyes nearly closed, I know it's not you.

<It is a part of me
The part I don't want to see
clearly
Running will save no one.

>I'm done, words filtrate, my thoughts are bare. ****, my mind is exposed, no one who cares.

What do you want from me?
Why arn't you scared of me?
Why don't you care for me?
Do you fear me because I'm alone?
Slip, cut yourself on the glass and swim in your drowning blood.
It's a dark place, it's vivid, the ghosts are deadly.
Cut your tongue, you can't talk, you won't be heard.
Voices are whispers, silent.
Wonder, stay fearful.
Come, enter my dark acidic wonderland and die with me.
Eat tongues as the whisper echoes in the dark.
Freeze, don't say anyhing, just watch me.
Watch me move.
(Scream)
Horrifying, I die in placid stillness and my yell for help cannot be heard.
It's mortifying, help me.
But I love playing these games, until my heart, bleeds.
Cut me, lick my blood, watch the rabbits head twist off as he loses his race against time.
Nothing is going to save you now.
You are dead.
I wanna end me.
**** me in the dark.
The ghosts come in my dreams and pull me, they want me.
The only energies that want me, not wanted by humans, not wanted by anyone.
Nobody likes me.
**** me in the dark.
...
End me

"Do you have a lighter? Am I dancing **** yet? Are you watching me because I move alone?"
Well, look a little harder, because as glass reflects on me I reflect back revealing the other side of me.
Two-sided.
She dances with ease.
Do you feel the pain because it's pain that I unleash.
I am the inner workings of your mutability.
I switch up as I am never at true peace.
Look at me, watch me...
Feed on me as I feed onto you.
The perplexities of my intentions are at it's core when I move.
Lost, but just a crazy ***** with the master ability to play with your mind baby.
Do you see it?
I do.
And she's nasty.
Taste her, lick her, **** her.
She's the dark side of me and she's waiting to play.
Tear me up like I'm your doll and grasp onto my insides like the strings have been attached so the grip cannot lose itself in your sins of your sinful embellishment.
Dress me up, move me.
You are my puppet and I only want to tease your mind.
**** me like a twist of your mad insanity.
Play with me.
Taste me, and watch me because, I move alone.

>The sky roars as the thunder explodes, the storm collides in my every memory of waking thought, I seem to clash as the change of season happens as abruptly as my change of emotion.

<I am plummeting to the bottom of the ocean
Drinking in the salty sip
Rising high as the commotion
Riding the low and the wavering dip.

>My focus seems obscured, scrutinized with every drip.
Drip drop...
Drip drop...
Lost. But still standing, the question is how.
Because every universal structure has me be-dowered.
The ocean holds many highs, ones that are forbidden.
Forbidden as the eyes can see.
But to me, I stare blindly, waiting to breathe.

<Unto the unknown
Unto the breach
Splitting at the seems
The why's
The where's
The how's
Are those my dreams?
Will warmth conceive?
O' come back to me

>Thoust lay beneath, I try to see,
I perceive with the eye of the cat, the mental stamina of a bird.
But lost in the eclipse, there's no looking back.
Pushing forward, I make my move.
Lips on focus, biting them as I inhale the atmospheric scent.

<Mystical indulgence
String of pearls diamond droplet around my neck
Gypsy traveler drifting between each breath
Spirit at the helm
Moon bound
Earth to the ground
Cat lives left
If I fall
Faith will stand again
Wingspan stretched out
Sun set

>Sun so far, it seems so near.
Sun so near, it seems so far.
Breathless, but still in sight, I reach over and feel the delight.
As darkness and pain is madness, so is light and healing.
Everything corresponds together and creates the balance.
But I write, "hello darkness my old friend''
The paper drifts away, as the sun rays hit my face
The string of pearls rest against your neck, as the master of puppets arrive, we soon begin our test.

<Our hearts write the line
Then,
silence.

Is my cause to live the cause for eternal death?
Is my cause for death my cause for eternal life?
As I have mentioned in my other writings, nothing ever dies.
The physical form diminishes into thin air and rots, and the soul, the spirit, the ghost, takes on a new form.
This bordem got me feelin' weak.
Hearing other peoples thoughts, conversations, am I being tested to immoral justice?
Am I being tested to focus on the subconscious, even though it hurts more than the conscious.
It hurts, to have a gift of such empathy and unconditional love.
I feel 100 knives stab me all at once.
It twists through the knots of my intestines
It rips my skin off and allows my blood to pour
It pulls my heart out and has me aching in misery
BETRAYAL
It's something I've experienced but still experiencing.
It HURTS.
So bad, my mind has me in sorrowful loneliness.
"Cannot trust anybody"
She says a million times, and that voice, that voice is right.
They smile to your face but whisper unwanted words to your back.
The wonder of who's real has me whimpering in weakness.
I have become weak and it is my thoughts to blame.
I fear them...
Nobody to trust but my unwanted pain.

I stared in front of me, at a peculiar object that had no formality.
It was a bland wall, had no opening, nor space, just blank.
It was oddly amusing, trying to foresee beyond it, trying to see what could be the meaning behind it.
The wall had no writing, or drawings, no patterns, or carvings.
Staring blindly, I couldn't see.
"Change your perception, use a different sense"
The voice said.
Pressing my hands against it, resting my forehead on it, and closing my eyes.

I felt it

I heard the banging, the screaming, the blood spattering, the squealing, the gasping, the echos, the sounds crying out for help.
I heard the knife slashing and gun shooting, I heard it all.
I suddenly felt something jolt through my body, like an electric shock.
I landed hard, back first on the ground.
Losing consciousness...

I saw it

I saw everything. EVERYTHING.

Waking up in a blanked out terror, I finally understood it.
It was me, in the form of my subconscious.
A metaphor of the desperate plead, cries, and help I call out to those that I love.
But, silent echos cannot whisper in the dark, and my voice cannot be heard.
SO, I suffer more, all by myself.

Yes, You can see the wall, but, if you choose not to listen to it, you won't see what's behind it, on the other side.
You choose to be misunderstanding.
You choose to be ignorant, and brain washed by lies.
But, if you actually took your own time and tried to feel the wall without any fear, maybe, just maybe, you would truly understand.

So, I stare at this bland wall, has no opening, no space.
But when I heard and saw what was on the other side, my perception changed.

In this coffin I lay, eyes shut and mouth open wide.
Strangled to death, but alive.
Barely making it, but taking the stride.

Why hide?
She walks with so much confidence
She's so beautiful
She's so inspirational
WOW, I wish I had that much confidence'
You not like other woman
How is she so fearless?

My past is dark, my body is bruised, my skin is scarred, and my blood still leaks.
Taking me years to get to this stage of self love, I've been through battles, days where I thought I was about to die.
Days where I thought nothing could help, punched in the face and defeated to ash, sleepless nights and robbed of all dignity, and days where I only slept and drained myself.
My battle wounds are still visible, I live for the fight and I will die fighting, never back down.
A black panther walks with grace, handles with strategy, and fights with integrity, still holding it's head **** high, a beautiful creature, they say.
Tougher than a lion, effortlessly, without even trying.
The animal kingdom has a new King, and it's me, the alpha female.
I ain't like other woman, I embrace and devour courage, strength, bravery, fearlessness, independence...
Staring death in it's ****** face and ripping that **** mask off and whispering, "who's the coward now, beautiful"
laughing sarcastically, DEATH does not exist, nothing ever really dies, a soul lives for eternity until the journey is accomplished, a champion never gives up, determination and pride, a self encouraged vanity.

So, in this coffin I lay, eyes shut, mouth wide open, strangled to death.
But somehow, through all the physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental pain...
(Laughs in sadistic mystery)
I am still alive.