Those who know me, have read the words I've written in black ink and can physically see me
Have told me
Though my writing is depressing
And my suicidal thoughts obsessing
Have mentioned that glimmer of hope that hides behind my demons screeching inside
I feel like Pandora at times
While darkness reigns the depths of my mind,
There's Hope
Trapped within.
I'm letting go of that hope.
There's nothing for me,
No future,
No dreams,
No possibilities,
Absolutely Nothing.
Because I'm nothing and the only thing that will fulfill me is the fact that one day I'll stop breathing.

Slow soft melodies
Floating from the sound
Of your lovely voice
Your laughter
Is the sweetest music
That's ever passed my ears.
And I put my brush down
Because I know that
I'll never create anything
Half as wonderful as you.
But I'll try as I paint your eye
And forge this picture in my mind
That someday you'll find
The love you lost for yourself
Long ago
And you'll be at ease, darling.
You'll be the person you
Want to be.
I love you
I love you so
I love you so much
And I'd give the world
To make you smile
So darling please, realize
You're worth more than all of
Hades' wealth and the galaxies
Realize, you're precious to me
please...

They've clipped my wings, darling
I want to soar through the heavens
And land in your arms
Like old times
But I'm earth bound and alone
Miles away from your love
I'll find a way,
No matter the cost.
No matter the length.
Even if it takes me a millennia,
I'll find my way back to you,
my love.

She's never thought she was beautiful
She saw beauty in everything
From the tall pines
To the withered down bricks on the side of our home.
She saw beauty in me
She encouraged and supported me,
When no one else dared.
All I've ever wanted was for her to love herself as much as I do.
Because she's shown me so much along the years,
From what it means to love and be loved,
To how it feels to run my hand down her hair,
And have a true promise of eternity.
I hold her tight through the nights
And chase her fears away
As she does for me.
And I will love her until the day comes
Where we're withered and gray
And the feeling of her insecurities go away.
And even after our final breaths,
I'll love her after death

The rising anxiety
Flares my insecurity.
I clear my throat,
The words just
won't come out right.
And I stutter and avoid
Staring at my audience
And I bit my lip,
Remembering hours
Of memorizing my topic
Only to forget it
Right on the spot.
I gather my courage and do my best
I finish my presentation
And they clap politely
And the relief is my refuge as I sit
With something of pride in my eyes.

"Are you okay?"
Some ask while I fall into shambles
Am I okay?
I ask myself as I tear my flesh apart
"You look so tired..."
Some say as they look at me, concerned.
"Didn't get much sleep."
I try to smile and mumble.
It's tiring.
So utterly exhausting as my pillow bears more of my tears,
Staining it's soft fabric.
Drops of salt and water, how I cling
To this pillow and wonder
Why I'm always alone when I cry.
But who knows
and who cares.