sometimes
i want to
s c r a t c h  m y  s k i n  o f f
peel it off my body
in a desperate attempt
to set free the
self-hatred and anxiety

sometimes
i want to
t a k e  a  k n i f e  t o  m y  f a t
carving it away
shaping my body
into something
that won't disgust me

sometimes
i want to
s t a r t  o v e r
take an unforgiving blade
to the girl i used to be
run away until my lungs burst
and i'm finally set free

i am not one for making bets
but i bet your heart skipped too
when my soul recognized you

The candle wax is dripping on the floor. I'm fast asleep on the hardwood, a towel for a blanket, wandering the stories my mind creates.

It's so much better there, in my dreams, much more comforting and whimsical. I can create my safest place, my very own home.

I can wander all over the world for free, touch the greatest wonders and experience culture like no other. I can learn anything without paying a dime or sitting in a classroom. I can feel the warmth of the sun on my skin or the cool rain kiss my cheeks as I look to the sky. I can be anything, dare I even say ... happy.

I am trapped in a magical world and I never want to leave.

Please don't make me leave.

I don't want to wake up. I don't want to face the dark and the cold. Because when I wake, those candles will be out and my towel will be just a towel.

Here I am warm, I am free, I am strong. Here I can be anything, do anything, feel anything.

Please don't make me wake up.

Please.

- t.s.

Oceans of waves
of pleasure wash over me as
my body shakes with spasm
after spasm of ******
Finally I can relax
as I take command,
I only need to obey
Not think, just obey
Listening to my sweet,
oh so sweet moans
Like the whimpers of an angel
my throat becomes dry
I'm exposed
open but I trust you fully
It feels so good,
like pure sweet ecstasy
My whole body
just wants to fall into
tiny pieces