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 Jan 2018 NourCreationz
Alec
It’s like I’m on fire.
A human torch, or rather, a lighter.
Flame shoots from my lips and fingertips.
Burning those around me to a crisp.
At first the flame is only warm,
Until it starts licking around the torn.
Growing brighter and heavier,
The flame forces all other senses into a dull blur.
Don’t help me,
You’re only providing more fuel.
You’re no savior, you’re just a fool.
I am Flame. I am Smoke.
The syllables i speak will burn and make you choke.
 Jan 2018 NourCreationz
Alec
Popping pills
Tripping over window sills.
Climbing slick walls
Squeezing through narrow halls.

Tumbling and turning
Who’s singing?
Boa constrictor wrapping around my ribs
What’s truth and what’s fib?

Swirls and twirls cloud my vision
Like staring straight into the sun
Stretching my hands out reaching for something
The bells begin to ring and ding.

6 fingers 3 arms
Should i be alarmed?
Am i being embraced?
Fingers dance and trace.

My mind is a track, my heart in a race.
My blood is blue, my heart is gold.
Was it their heart i stole or my life i sold?

I lose the love,
The bad things begin to consume me
...
PILLS PILLS PILLS!!!!
Breathe in and out, it’s such a thrill.

Happy HaPpY HAPPY
Even to the trees, i am overtly sappy.
Jump! Sing! Dance!
Caught up in this maddening trance.

Am i alone inside the room?
Or is the room alone outside of me?
Are these human hands grabbing at  me?
Or are they demons that trace my heart unseen?

Is this an enchanting seductress?
Or is this the “big test”?
Drowsiness,
Sanity becoming less and less...

Fingernails raking down
My mind isn’t even in town.
Do the pills control my mind,
Or do you?

Are you my Queen?
Am i a King to you?
Or just a another jester for when you’re in the mood.
Do I mean anything?

You’re the Queen of too many hearts,
The minute you look at us it starts.
Off with our heads!
Sanity and common sense are dead.

We run around each other like rabbits,
Can’t keep calm! Can’t even sit!
Constantly moving, following you.
You cage me like an animal in a zoo.
I’m stuck on a leash,
Forced to follow you.

Grasping at straws,
Flowers begin to talk.
Need more meds!!
Dragons fly around my bed?!
Fires start in my head.

Where did i put them?!
My gems!!
They make me happy!!
I need them to be me!

WHERE ARE MY PILLS?!?!
Careful little rabbit or i might ****.
HAHAHAHA
Sickly smiles and terrifying wiles,
I must’ve gone mad!!
Should I be sad or glad?

HAPPY UN-BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!
WILL YOU LEAVE ME TOO??!!
Tea time, TeA TiMe!
The madness is only mine!!!

Won’t give it up,
Drink from your poisoned cup!
Follow closely behind.
Or the darkness will catch you in a bind.

I may be the Mad Hatter in this zoo,
But i was once an Alice too.
Don’t trust any Queen of Hearts,
For Her wits will drive you mad, unable to outsmart.
The view from the top of the mountain
Will be something I'll never forget

Be it a breeze of crisp Autumn relief
Or a shower of monsoon regret
First write in a long time
On days like this, I make my coffee too strong, too sweet
Spoonful after spoonful, ignoring the yellowing enamel of my teeth

Something's wrong. But I think I'm okay, so I tell myself I'm fine
And soon it starts to taste like a bittersweet mix of syrup and brine
Maybe I should try tea next time
Red

Like freshly chewed lips
And warmly flushed cheeks

Orange

Like the energy none of us harbour
And dry crumbling October

Yellow

Like towering sunflowers
Like a flowing summer dress

Green

That bleeds out through his eyes
And covers the walls like creeping ivy

Blue

Like how you've felt for so long
And the sky above our heads

Indigo

Like the future, overwhelming
But it's always been calling me

Violet

Like the truth
Like peace
Like acceptance
Like growth
Like healing
It all feels so saturated at times
Each secret inside is a life
Each life that gets pushed down
To fatall residence trapped inside
More thoughts will compensate
Enough of each life lost inside you
And secret’s glaze to death
Each fear emerges a reality
Each attack becomes a losing battle
Each cut translates a voice unheard
Each drop of blood a request for relief
Each tear shed at night is feeling none
Each long-sleeve shirt unknwn armor
Each hidden scar a failed escape
Each secret chained to a wall of fear
Each spoken secret is a translated scar
Each man with your secret is a gun to your thoughts
Each friend can never help enough
Each pain in your heart a black hole
Each secret only embargo, never die
Enough restriction and death emerges privilege
This is my perspective on self harm
The dancer on the candle whick
Has long since faded out
And the orange glowing flames
Have long since been stomped out
Extinguish the warmth
Let kerosene dreams be killed
But the wax has cooled
And is now frozen still
And by cool, I mean bitter cold
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