I lived in a house I had dug in the mud

Loneliness was served each meal at my 4 sided table

Quiet music distracted from the roaring silence

Darkness encapsulated my eyes from the harsh light of day

Seclusion preserved my soul from feeling the angry world's tempest

Exercise sustained the need for vigor of motion

Writing was my conversation

In the darkness waiting
Time lingering on
Painful changes making
Bright-eyed sparkle gone
The crease of light is taunting
Restrained and alone
It only leaves me wanting.
Till light around me shone
Cocoon illuminating
Glow of amber tone
As if the shadow hating
Warmed tired weary bones
I stretched there in the morning
A new day had come
Then greeted me beckoning
Two arms I called home
The embrace now seems fleeting
Yet leaned i hard thereon

As the wandering eye did catch.
A glimpse of girl that she might fetch.

Charmed and wiled her way now,
And at her beauty willingly bowed.

Tempt her o'er a bottle of wine,
To see a flicker of wilder eye.

Reflected back across candlelight,
Then saw a shining gaze that night.

So now as I look back at you,
With sultry shaded eyes of dew.

Release yourself for our delight;
We could just forget this night.

Or remember wetly all the time,
Of caress and pleasure following ryhme.

Carried sorrow her brow.
Unnoticeable till now.
Sadness dulls her features.
Misunderstood creature.
Framing within life.
Violent as knife.
Actions less planned.
Make no more stand.
Time for rest.
Deeply guessed.
Pain flows.
Tears show.
Pawn.
Gone.

Brought to the brink
Then hesitation

Surge of euphoria
Then relaxation

Cast worry aside
Then realization

Dreams built fast
Then demoralization

Rest your head
Today you did your part

Wake on the morrow
Another day to start

When you get down
Tell yourself this:

Today is the struggle
Tomorrow is bliss

Taken aback by plan
Isolation self inflicted in chaos
Careful resignation of man
Alerting those who betray us

Justified in the mind
Scattering my thoughts in protection
Many appear too kind
Looking out for critical detection

Concerns of words misplaced
The fault finding superior sneer
Expressing disgust and distaste
High minding misuse of fear

Twisting my gut violently
Internally shake to suffer silently
Words abandon lips, mind races
Trapped with their judgemental faces

A quick refreshing dip
You float with utmost buoyancy

But with repeated trip
And growing sense of poignancy

Panic takes it's hold
Logic must be strewn aside

Bravely plunge the bold
To sink before they've died

So choices made light
Can end up more deep

As those figured right
Make for much peaceful sleep

Either way gives rest
But no stories are told

By those thinking best
When they have gotten old

My whole little world sat down on a blanket.
Cushion of grass below.

Happy gaze of their mother had not sank yet.
Feeling the breeze that blows.

Favorite snacks all packed, arrang'd just so.
Smiling eyes excitement.

Small hints of growth, faces are quite chang'd though.
My sweet enlightenment.

Heavy burdens and sorrow bravely carries
Good Mothers do.

Shelter this innocence as it tarries
Showing love true.

Heartstrings so delicate needing tender care
Never to abuse.

Forever I wish to stay there, as then their
Smiling muse

Agony of memories shackled in soul
Loss of control

Cult raised isolation bred within youth
Eureka of truth

Abandoned by love own motherhood start
Burden of heart

Maternal disease and death's lengthy fight
Daytime to night

Caring in vain is like tightening rope
Grasping for hope

Sweet child now mortal illness attacked
Mind being racked

No support acquaintance or true friend
Alone till end

Questioning Deity in trial with doubt
Childish I pout

Weakness in battle spirit slowly died
Strength not inside

Broken wondering why His small pawn
Can't carry on