The haiku poet
Searches the supermarket
For food and haiku.

Opportunistic
Girl scouts sell cookies: stoners
Pay with arms and legs.

Healthy fat apples,
Dressed in delicious colors,
Shout for attention.

A carton of milk
With streaks of white crust drooling
Down from its capped hole.

There once was a man from Mauritius
Whose canine was toothy and vicious:
     It once bit the hand
     That was feeding it, and
It considered the flavor delicious.

A man from McFarland once *******
His pants, which were too tightly fitted:
     He popped a low squat,
     And he ******* a lot,
And it squished out his pants when they splitted.

There once was a man from Zumbrota
Who'd **** down a 2-liter soda,
     Then burp up a symphony
     By Beethoven winsomely,
From the first bar to the end of the coda.

He wouldn't compose a cantata,
A symphony, song, or sonata:
     The best of his best
     Is a piece that's one rest,
Played f and with a fermata.

There once was a man from Bombay
Who enjoyed a remarkable day:
     It started at sunrise
     When the sun chose to unrise,
And it ended when Earth rolled away.

There once was a man from Mumbai
Whose face had the laziest eye:
     It opened at noon
     While the other as soon
As the sun rose was focused and spry.