Remember when you touched me
as I said "no"
Remember how you kissed me
with such urgency to take that first bit of innocence
Remember as I pushed you away
and you got mad but zipped your pants anyways
and the only reason I followed was because
you were my ride home.
Remember how you had THE NERVE
to ask me for money
after how you had just touched me
and the only reason I did not slap you
was because you had made that poor little girl
afraid
of everything.

But tell me,
you MUST remember when I came to realize
the man I was with was best friends
with a criminal,
a deciever,
a lousy excuse of a man whom took this
hardly-14 year old girl's first bit off innocence
and discretely- her last

You must remember the denial.
You must remember how you called me a liar,
a fake,
an attention
seeking
*****...
You must remember wishing hatred upon me.

My poor excuse for a man,
but do you not remember
the beginning of a catastrophy
that only you
had the power,
underneath those grimy wandering hands,
to start ?

She attempted to burn her skin with the mere faucet
But no matter how warm the water became
the only marks on her skin were those previously left
by the hands of the rusty blade - hidden deep within her nightmares

She lay naked on the shower floor
****** legs and ****** arms spread out in front of her
and only she could make out the difference
between her tears and the running water

This child knew in that moment
that her every second on this earth had been a waste.
If only her mother, or the man that claimed to love her
knew just how empty she could feel
they would surely want no part in her disasterous real

So she lay down in the shower
as the water ran cold
and prayed for it drown her
with the small hope that there was still a God to show

Brother is addicted to fairytales
In his head
Mother won't stop reading the words she claims can save us all
Father is addicted to never coming home again
Sister treats her skin like paper dolls

Maybe if brother kept in check with reality
And mother came to realize no words could save her
Father wouldn't have left in such brutality
And sister would never have the urge
To pick up the razor

Then maybe their future generations
Wouldn't have to experience
When parents claim they're "going on vacations"
To leave their children with but a glimpse
Of what this real world, real life
Taste is

This one's for all the ****** angels
Bearer of knives and guns
I know you didn't use to think this way
You were just like one of us

I heard photographs show who you really are inside
And maybe that is why
You say you're ugly every time

I wish to stop feeling like I am nothing
Because feeling like I am nothing
Only leads to doing nothing
Even where there is not nothing
To do
And feeling like I am nothing
Only causes everyone else
To view me as nothing
So maybe the only way to stop feeling like nothing
Is to become nothing