I want to lie down
In a sea of my own blood
I want to conquer the world
Don't want the world to conquer us

Fill the empty space where your heart is
Walk with such grace even when you're fallin'

There are kids that don't have a dad
A girl that feels too **** fat
There's a man who just lost his job
Some have gone without food to eat
There's a boy who watched his sister die
Mom's and daddy's getting into fights
There's a girl who's only hope relies
On a man who walked out of her life

So if you begin to think you got it bad

Just remember all the kids without a dad
Or the kids that make the girl feel way too fat
Just remember the man who took
His last breath of free air just trying to scavage
A meal for his daughters and wife
And the boy who wants so desperately to end his life

Monday was terrible.
Horrific.
I spent the day sulking on my lonesome and went home ready to erupt.
I could feel the slight tingle of tears threatening their way through my eyelids
Ready to pour over the second they perched open
But due to my lack of sleep last night
I doubt I could even build up the strength to open my glossy eyes
Even if I wanted to

In a weird sense
I enjoyed the mere thought of Monday being able to make me cry
I almost laughed
Or screamed
Or both

A year ago today
Everyday was a Monday to me
Everyday went horribly
Everyday made me come home crying and lock myself in my room
I was so used to that constant repetitive torture
That Monday appeared to be no different than any other day
Monday was just... It.
Tuesday was "it"
Wednesday was "it"
Thursday was "it"
Friday was "it"
Even Saturday and Sunday were "it"

But now, today
Monday is distinct
In a horrifyingly gruesome way
And this tear-jerking unsatisfying Monday gave me hope

Monday made me cry
Tuesday did not
Wednesday did not
Thursday did not
Friday did not
Not even Saturday or Sunday made me cry
Only Monday made me cry
Only Monday

Just as Monday made 7 billion other humans cry
On this torturous inescapable earth
It also made me cry

And that gave me hope that maybe I really am normal
Or I can be
Or I will be

Because Monday is unbearable for everyone
And Monday is unbearable for me
And the rest of the week is alright for most people
And it was alright for me
And Saturday and Sunday are fun for most people
And Saturday and Sunday were fun for me

Somewhere
Deep inside my clouded, muddy mind
I caught a glimpse of hope
That maybe
There is hope for me
Maybe I am cured
Maybe I can be
Maybe I will be

Here's a letter for you
That I wrote at six years old
I drew a pink heart and a blue ice cream cone
It read, "Daddy I love you, no matter how old."

I never gave it to you
Cause you were always on the road

Here's a letter for you
That I wrote in 5th grade
Written on a napkin with a blade
Daddy, I thought you were making progress

I never sent it to you
Cause I never knew your address

Here's a letter for you
That I wrote at 13
Scribbled on a picture frame
Holding you and me
Daddy, what's this torturous wave?

I never left it for you
Cause I never found your grave

Here's a letter for you
That I wrote at 18
Written on a dollar bill
I earned this evening
"Daddy, I'm doing it
I'm graduating"

I never kept it
I was crying before I could accept it

Here's a letter for you
That I'll write when the time comes
I'll stick it in between the bouquet
And let my makeup run
"Daddy, I wish you could walk with me
I think my nerves would ease"

But it'll never reach you
Unless God's feeling pleased

Once on a bed of black and gold
A small girl lay
As her father spoke of all the things she'd do someday
Her father hugged her
And she began to cry
She feared her future
She feared her life
Her father loved her
Even with tears in her eyes
And she never asked why
Because she was afraid of what the answer might be

Once on a bed of black and gold
The little girl sat in the middle of the night
Her lips trembled as her father spoke
And she could hear her mother yelling back
And she could not tell if she was more angry
Or more sad
When she awoke in the morning her father was gone
And she did not ask why
Because she was afraid of what the answer might be

Once on a bed of black and gold
The girl was touched against her will
She couldn't scream, she barely said no
But her actions showed she was struggling to get free
He stole her first kiss
But she did not cry
She was too frightened to even try
The bed became a silky red
As the evil man made her bleed
But she kind of liked the blood
So when she reached home, she made herself bleed again
But this time with a razor sharp pen
And it got to be a habit
But she never asked herself why
Because she was afraid of what the answer might be

Once on a bed of black and gold
She lay across his chest and they
Watched a scary movie
The boy got scared and he pulled her close
But the girl did not
Because she had already seen
The scariest of things
And when he broke her heart she did not ask him why
Because she knew what the answer would be

Once on a bed of black and gold
She lay in the night, wide awake
Rumors had spread, and the whole school
Made fun of her
And she cried at night
And she made herself bleed
And she remembered all the things they had said
And she finally decided to fit in with the crowd
And hate herself, too
And she never asked why they did
Because she did not want to know what the answer might be

Once on a bed of black and gold
The girl held a gun to her forehead
And mascara ran down her cheeks
And the boy that deceived her blew up her phone
And the last message he sent went a little like this,

"You need to know that you're beautiful
Its not time to go home
Please stay alive
Don't you want to know what your future holds?"

But the girl pulled the trigger anyways
And her bed turned a blood red
And she did not stay alive
Because she was frightened of what her future might be

Don't waste your eyes chasing the moon
When the sun's got ahold of you