The sun stays longer each day,
as I wake up to your face.

By day we create,
by night we embrace.

Sometimes heartbreak is like a stroke.
One sudden moment.
You lose half of yourself.

Other times it's like a cancer.
Spreading. Consuming every fibre.
Until you're nothing
but an empty corpse.

I don't know which is worse.
But don't you dare judge me
for not seeing it.

Sometimes I catch myself mid-task
and I realise that I exist.

My age. Here. Now.
The chances of my soul
having my life
are incredibly small.

Sometimes I catch myself mid-kiss
and I realise that you exist.

Your age. Here. Now.
The chances are even smaller.

Sometimes I catch myself mid-gaze,
eyes locked and I realise
that somehow,
your existence
has intertwined with mine.

Seven billion other souls.

Yet, I found you.
You found me.
The chances are infinite.

Sometimes I catch myself mid-wonder
and I realise that
if the smallest choice
so far was different.

Your soul would not have met mine.

And my true love
would have lived their life
without knowing
or experiencing my existence.

Sometimes I catch myself.
I simply smile.

How did I get so lucky?

Maybe I'm still dreaming.

My biggest fear in life,
has unfolded before my eyes.

I feel so misunderstood,
they don't see the tears I've cried.

Their lack of grace and compassion have violently pushed against me,

So far they bend me.

With comments and rejection
revealing their own projections.

They just want the quick fix,
to return to their lives.

They want someone to blame,
so they can take a side.

But breakups are messy,
traumatising and dividing.

No matter the cause,
they will find their cause.

You can look at the surface,
what was said and what was done.

But it goes deeper than that,
your world is being undone.

You look to me for the answer,
for honesty and explanations.

But when I give it,
all you hear is justification.

That I possess no remorse,
that I have no compassion.

You want to see me burn,
regret all my actions.

But I won't.
I refuse to cower to power.

Every since I was little,
this was always my mantle.

I stand strong in the face
of the deepest adversity.

Amongst my friends, mentors and my community.

For all this time,
I know I've chosen love.

And I refuse to be mistreated, neglected and judged.

You can focus on how I handled it,
I'm still figuring it out.

Sure I messed up,
you used that as your out.

I'm just living my life,
you say that it's wrong.

You find fault in the fact that
I'm trying to move on.

You don't want to face it,
you just want to run.

It's undoing your security,
you're questioning your own.

You resent I might be right,
this kills you inside.

Then you'd have to face
the demons inside.

For once it consumes you,
that your life may be fake.

You won't be able to forget it,
you won't be able to escape.

You see me living happy,
authentic and free.

This makes you uncomfortable,
this isn't meant to be.

For you have a belief,
I am **** of the earth.

But I came out on top,
you attack my worth.

But I know I'm worthy of love,
this you can't take from me.

For it comes from above
and it comes from within me.

For people like me,
challenge people like you.

I inspire so many,
when you feel hatred and envy.

For those that pull me back and forth,
they try to keep me in mess I have caused.

They're not for me. In fact,
I'm convinced they're against me.

For if they loved me, they would forgive and accept my apology.

They'd see my heart.
I kept quiet to protect my privacy,
but also to protect the hearts of those around me.

For you didn't need to know,
details only brought pain.

Pride made you nosey,
now you're suffering from your gain.

Do not put this on me,
this was your call.

You cornered me,
It's now beyond my control.

Take responsibility,
stop blaming me for your issues.

We've barely spoken, how could I be responsible for you?

Stop looking to me, I'm not the source of your depression.

It's the people around you, your fear and suppression.

You don't want to admit it,
you're surrounded by evil.

They're only out for themselves and the proof is in front of you.

There's no patience, no self control or goodness.

There's no humility, no understanding or gentleness.

There's no faith, no respect or kindness.

This isn't love.
Don't play it off as righteousness.

Love seeks to understand,
to forgive and to restore.

Love is patient, it protects and removes all ego.

Love is all that matters.
The most powerful force in the universe.

Love is what I fight for and
I will lose it all, to find it.

Your scars are visible and my broken heart waters my eyes.

Tension and doubt have kissed me on the mouth and said their goodbyes.

As the night sweeps in and my head lays down on your chest.

My heart beats to a calm, steady pace.
I rest.

One two. One two.

A little smile escapes my mouth, raising the corner of my lips.

We weren't meant to fall in love.
But here we are, beating all the odds.

Maybe we are doomed.

But here. Now.
I am right where I want to be.

With you.

Accompanied by my inner monolgue
Colouring glasses with insecure glaze
Hyper aware of my unawareness
Punctured heart as bonds fade

Daydreaming an array of desires
Waiting for things to change
I drop into my body
What I feel, see, hear and taste

Letting energy and feelings flow  
Letting breath and heart slow
Connecting to my higher self
Connecting to the present now

We sing and dance in this empty apartment
Saying goodbye to the life we once lived
Bags packed for a one-way ticket
You and me, against the world.

City to city, many memories, many faces
I'm not home sick or lonely
I don't crave normality.

It doesn't matter where we go
Let's run and let's fly
Everything around us can change
Our love remains the same.

All I need is you and that guitar
Home is where you are.

On this rainy day,
I listen to the sound.

I tune in deeply and hear thousands of droplets meet their death.

I close my eyes and am taken away.

To a place where my mind is as blank as an untouched journal.

Still.
Lonely.
Rainy days remind me of you.

The last I saw the rain tickle the windows, I had your body wrapped around me tight.

Our fingers intertwined.
Your heart beat against mine.

Even though it's cold outside,
my skin remembers your warmth.

Your lips running down my centre
like the drops down the glass.

The scent of the rain like the scent of your hair, as you bury into my neck.

The moisture in the air like it is between the sheets.

Escaped from the world and its troubles, when it's us two.

On this rainy day,
I miss you.

Sadness, my old friend
You have come to greet me once again
To collect the debt that is due
My prolonged glee was becoming suspicious.

Sadness, my old friend
You have come to remind me once again
That with every high, there is a low
Yin and Yang, two and fro.

Sadness, thank you for your visit
And showing me how to be human
Your presence makes your absence all the more richer.