What my life looked like a year ago

Is nothing like it looks like now.

What my life looks like a year from today,

I hope it is nothing like it looks like now.

Rolling with the tides,

I'm having fun on this ride.

Suddenly I woke up

I realize in my laughter and whim,

I've swam too far.



Out in the dark waters,

Lost, Alone,

Where did my friends go?

I Want to get back to shore, my home.
.
hope to find my way back

but I can not see where home is.

Only seems a blurry vision now,

I'm not sure it exists anymore.

Can I get home? or is home now only a figment of my imagination.

Only a foggy image of home that I can hear like an echo calling my name.

The ocean

Swallows you

Drowns you

Encapsulates you whole..

And your wishing you never

Dipped your foot in the water.

You must swim,
Fight,
For your life to get out of the depths of the sea thats drowning you.

Every muscle,
Every bone,
Every cell,
Fighting for you.

This is no different,
Only you are only drowning on the inside dear
You must fight for your life.
But your mind must be aligned.

.

Happiness,
Happy mess
Is it Something we chase
Maybe there’s something more real
That we must face.

Why is it
When We feel sadness
We feel pain
We feel alone,
Like no one knows.

We count our thorns
While the world sees us a rose.

Unfold.

I push,
Then I pull
Directionless, getting ahead of ya
But there's a path for us all,
Devil in one hand angel in my soul
Stereotypical
I can see myself falling
But i keep going
As if I dont know betta,
Ohp im going under.

Another line,
Another smoke,
Itll numb ya up.
Oh baby, We’re just having fun.
You’re just catching up.
Too late. Now you're in.
Devil welcomes you at the door,
Now you'll be thinking about me,
And ill bring you to your knees.
How do you get more,
I’m the one you adore.

**** your relationships,
Ya need me, you see.
Life would be too plain,
And I’m the one to save you from your pain.

Addiction is not your friend
Your only a slave to
your ****** head.
So run while you can
Before your stuck
the realms of darkness
Emptiness
Expressionless

I look inside,
heart full of gold
A soul that wants to go home.
A body that wants to be loved,
By me.
But,
I tend to want the one that doesn’t want me.
Stupid psychology.
Thanks mom, thanks dad,
Is this what love is supposed to be?

Gotta retrain my brain
Into knowing what's actually good for me
It isn’t that easy
raised in a house full of
Neglect, dysfunction and misery.
You think that’s love.
But I can hear from the depths inside of me,
Love doesn’t do this,
Love sets you free.
[of entropy consuming which breathes]

Broken doors, broken glass.
I guess it aint that bad.
[Hes only just half mad
When full glass been gotten gone]


Could've been me.
[Peace enough to let the frame free]


k.c

Why is it
We write about what we need
What we’re missing

Instead of what we have
And what we have found

Always yearning
Always Craving
For something more
Than what’s given
Than what has been found.

Is there more to life out there
Or am i a hopeless dreamer
Making wishes on every shooting star
And every 11:11

Is there a point
Where we stop wanting
And start accepting
Life, for what it is
What our experience has become

I’m not sure which one
Is worse.

Maybe instead of counting how many tears
I’ve shed
I’ll start counting how many sun rises
I've seen

There is something to learn,
From nature itself
Like how the sun always falls..

But

She rises.
Over and over

Again,
And
Again

Til she burns out.
Day after day,
Until she  takes her last breath.

She will shine so bright
Her whole life
Maybe never knowing
Her true worth.

We clearly see her light.
We figure she knows how valuable she is
How much we need her,

She has no clue.
Yet She continues to rise and fall,
Breathing life unto us all.
While maybe she..
Is falling apart;
herself

Keep going
Keep burning
Even when you dont feel like it.
Someone out there needs you

-kc

As you close the curtains
I close my eyes too
But i still feel
What ive always felt for you.

And when the sun awakens,
So will you.
Maybe youll apologize,
Sometimes you do.

Whats been accomplished here
Im not sure.
Im constantly on a swing
Back and forth from
Can i love myself
And love you.

Im not sure what my goal is here
Maybe i was placed as a lesson
For you.

Im tired of being the lesson
I want to be the prize.
I want to feel desired.
Empowered.

Your eyes locked in mine

I am the fixer
I dont want perfect
I will always water you
Even if its not worth it.
If i dont get anything back
At least i am with purpose.

But your soil has dried out
I pour myself over
Nurturing you
Every last drop
I squeeze out to water you.

Your roots are too damaged
My flow still everlasting,
I seem to think.

But each drip you take
Is thrown away.
I take the water
That I desperately need
And give it to you.

Clinging to each moan
Each time we electrute

Infinite energy.
My *** is empty
Yet i know I have more,
So i keep going.
Your eyes and mine
Align.
But then the stars say, its time.
You cant turn from truth
When its looking your right in the face.
Begging you, to not run away.

You need to take a look deep inside.
I am the prize.
But we've lost track of time
Fun times turned to addictions
Actions turned vindictive
I know that white powder is so pretty
But its not a human being.

I miss being
The one you want to touch
Even if its lust.

Yearning for the day,
That i look in the mirror and can accept my face.
In my eyes,
All i see is damage.
Most days i see in grey.

I want to explore.
******* tired of being ignored.
So please step up,
Do you have what it takes?

If not, sit down
And let the next man take your place.
I have too much love to give
Jokes to have
Laughter to live
To sit here
And accept this fate.

Na
Im taking control of my day.
Ill be the one to put a smile on my face.

K.c

Depression

My old friend

Oh my, oh my

Where have you been

You creep back into me

Ever so sneakily.

How i wish, we can make amends

After all this time spent

My old friend,

You cut me open

Then stitch me closed.

My tears flow and flow

Scars open

Bleeding out into the unknown.

Then,

Just like that

You shut me off.

Disassociated,

Now I am numb

To the bone.

My old friend,

It is either all or nothing with you.

Well I am sick

Of having to come up with reasons

Of why I am not feeling well.

I’m through with you.

Out, Out,

Gone be.

You are not me.

I will not be defined by the lies you shout and whisper to me.

My old friend, you will not take me with you

I have worked too hard,

Towards light,

To stay on my own path.

My mind has blossomed and my heart has been watered

You will not **** me dry.

Leave me, Leave me

Let me be.

-k.c

The trees,

They whisper to me.

Of the things they want me to believe.

The trees, say

You are strong.

You are tall.

You will rise,

Like me.

The wind,

Whisper’s to me,

Be like me.

Be wild, be free.

Forgive. Let in.

The waves,

Speak to me.

With their resilience,

Their everlasting crash.

Forward and back, Forward and back.

The waves tell me,

Keep going.

The world will still go on without you,
The waves will still crash
The wind will still soar
The trees will still stand tall.
Seasons will change,

So keep going.
Stay strong. Be resilient. Let go, Let in.

Just,
Be.

Choose Love over Fear.
Choose Love over Fear.

How do I know which one is which?
Can I choose fear and love actively together?

My daunting question is,
Can I lose myself due to love?

Well, my dear.
Do not listen to your fear.

The Universe notices bravery
when you take a leap
in love,
and trust yourself.

That is, what she awaits for you.
For what ever decision you make,
to trust yourself.

The Universe hears you,
but she is waiting for you to listen.

To stop asking everyone around,
for the answers you seek within.

Listen to your inner knowing.

To trust.
To choose love.
To Be brave,
and you will not be disappointed
in what awaits.

When you trust yourself,
and act in love,
Love only expands from here,
my darling.