In my mind,
There lives two wolves.
Two distinct voices.
Each telling me to make different choices.
How am I supposed to know which one to pick?
Quite honestly, the stress of it all is making me sick.
Is the right answer instilled in us?
In our heart and in our brain?
Or maybe two voices is all it will take to drive someone like me insane.

We were both gamblers,
And darling, we were all in.

Knowing there was a possibility
Of holes left in our hearts
being unable to mend.

I know life always has a way of leaving us broken, but darling, for tonight, let's pretend.

Risking the chance we could be left with nothing, we put in all we had.

But in the end, even though we lost everything, life didn't seem so bad.

We knew what we were getting ourselves into.

All or nothing

It just so happens that this time,
Life chose nothing.

But we still somehow believed that we had gained from something.

We had discovered sides of ourselves that the other brought to light,

And they were worth knowing, even though now, we are simply a lost dream in the night.

You know that saying,
"Misery loves company."?

Well, I disagree.
I think misery loves to isolate.
It loves to tell you that you're only meant to be alone.

Because when your misery is made known,
That is when others' love for you is shone.

And misery cannot dwell in a place that love now owns.
Because love mends the brokenness that misery had once sewn.

Her mind was like the ocean, in that, there was so much more they had yet to discover.

•Soulmates•

Looking at him, She thought he was everything she needed in life but in the end, he was what truly drained the life from her eyes.


Overcome by the shame of her ignorance, she flooded the pages with her tears. This is why she never loves. This is why she only fears. This is why she never opens up and why when he opens his mouth, lies are the only things she seems to hear.


**** soulmates. The only real gift love brings is suffering. The ones we would give anything to have, cause us the most pain. It's a foolish cycle that never seems to break. And no matter how many times we fail, it's always from this same mistake.


By now, you'd think we would have learned. And from this stupidity, you'd assume we would have turned. Sadly, there's no hope for the things we can't change.

It's ironic, yet strange, if I'm being quite honest, though, because, you see, the more knowledge we try to gain, the more we actually seem to go insane.

It's such a strange feeling,
knowing someone more than I know myself.      

Who Am I?

I wear a mask for the world to see,
I meet someone, put on a similar face so I can fit in, I figure out, for the time, who I need to be.
So much so that if I searched in a room full of faces, I wouldn't even recognize my own,
I've got to find who I am, in a place so far to me, is unknown.
I know once I go searching hard enough, I'll find myself within,
In a state of constant growth and learning,
In hopes that just me will always be enough,
No reliance on someone else telling me who I am,
I'll break down my walls, tear apart the dam,
My spirit will spill out like a beautiful waterfall,
Glistening with the brightest sparkling light that anyone ever saw,
I will finally be sure of my purpose,
He asks me what if I regret going and deciding not to stay,
And miss out on my chance to become the person I hope to be?
I said I can't not know, no ******* way.  
I'm going to be free, not tied down to anything on this earth,
I'll be satisfied with my soul and recognize my worth,
I won't settle for anything less,
Than becoming my absolute best.


So I don't care what I have to do,
Whether I rise or I fall, I'll give nothing less than my all.
If the end result is finding me,
*I'm willing to go to any lengths.

Inside me, there's a void that I've managed to fall through,
Nothing seems to be helping,
No matter what I do.
I try to stay positive,
Always looking on the bright side,
But it's like the darkness always finds me,
No matter where I try to hide.
Despair taints the world around me,
Sadness softly whispers my name,
While all the while madness tells me all I'm doing is going insane.
I'm desperately looking for a way out,
Exploring inside me, the unknown.
But the deeper I go searching,
All I discover is that I'm alone,
They say the good thing about hitting rock bottom, is that up is the only other way,
The problem is, the walls are just too high to climb up, so the bottom is where I stay.
Sometimes I catch myself thinking that I'm buried in too deep,
And about how easy it would be to forever fall asleep,
But I decide to look once more for any way out,
Because that is not the life I planned for myself,
I know this without a doubt.
I want to live a happy life, I truly want something more.
So I peer across the room, and there sits a key, my last chance,
All I have to do now is find the door.

It only took a spark,

A glimpse of happiness,

To start a fire in her heart.

A fire that shines bright for her even in the dark.

A glimpse of happiness.

Buried deep within the soil of her soul.

And as time unfolds,

She'll remember how it only took a spark,

A glimpse of happiness,

to bring forth blossoms from her once sorrowful heart.

I believed.
I was deceived.
I cared.
It was not shared.
I fell.
You could tell.
To you, I was drawn.
You led me on.
I said I love you.
You lied and said you did too.
Then I said Don't leave me
You said We'll see
I should have walked away.
Made you ask me to stay.
But now I'm left alone.
Parts of me, left in your soul.
My heart aches beneath these bones.
But without me,
*You feel whole.

You have a fragile heart,
But I have a steady hand.
I promise I'll delicately hold every part,
Your wish is my command.

You ignited within my soul a flame,
A flicker of fire, I fear I won't be able to tame.
I must warn you, I'm a rebel.
And right now, I have an overwhelming desire to play with your fire.

When your arms were wrapped around me, I felt more beautiful,
With every kiss upon my lips, I slowly became whole.
You completed me, and I didn't even know,
Until one day you weren't there and the flowers within my soul ceased to bloom,
And suddenly, the emptiness was all I felt when I stepped inside a room,
When fall came around, how everything began to change,
But somehow, I seemed to remain the same,
Then winter brought a chill so cold, I longed for the shelter which came from your embrace,
And your eyes that brought warmth and made my heart race,
Spring's hopeful promise to make things new, yet the newness was still tainted with memories of missing you,
Summer snuck up on me,
The sun wiped the tears from my cheeks,
Dehydrating my body, reminding me of your love for which I am so thirsty for,
The salty water greeted my toes as I stood upon the shore,
Reminding me that no tide can ever wash away the pain that rested beneath my core,
Here's to wishful thinking, but I hope that one day you'll look back and regret leaving,
And realize that I was, in fact, everything you wanted and more.

Mindless.
Everything we've had, to you,
It was mindless.
It meant nothing.
But you didn't bother to even mention how you felt,
I guess because you didn't feel anything at all.

Effortless.
Everything I felt and said, to you,
It was effortless.
I gave you everything until I was left with nothing.
I was too scared to mention how I felt, because I was afraid,
Afraid you wouldn't feel the same way at all.

Flawless.
Everything I saw in you,
It was flawless.
I fell in love with the way the corners of your eyes crinkled up when you smiled.
In love with the way you saw life, your humor,
The way you drove me wild.

Obvious.
All the warnings and red flags,
They were obvious.
But I was too stubborn to let you go until we were left with nothing.
Now, I find myself here, telling you how I feel, always a moment too late.


Happiness.
I am thankful for every moment spent with you,
It was pure happiness.
You taught me to be free and to find positivity in everything I could see.
I could never regret all that you gave to me.

Images.
All that's left now of us,
They are images.
But these memories, call me crazy, I wouldn't trade them for anything.
If they are all that I have left of you, at least I am left with something.
Even though truly what you left behind, in the end, amounted to nothing.



But oh well, I guess it was probably for the best.

Have you ever noticed how birds seem to fly to a melody unsung?
That the eyes seem to speak a stronger language than any that we've known?
How the stars keep their shine no matter the time,
And no matter how much time passes, our souls stay young?

Maybe you've never noticed the story your face tells in between the seconds it takes for me to say, "I love you"
And maybe you've never noticed the way I look at you like there's no concept of time,
The moments you cross my mind when there's no reason or rhyme,
Yes, maybe this isn't the place or time but how much time are we really guaranteed?
No, you'll never understand how much of me you've possessed,
How little time it took for me to become obsessed,
You'll never understand how much beauty I see when I see you fast asleep,
No words to describe how much you already mean to me.
But the truth is, no matter how much time I have with you, no time will ever be enough,
Because time brings limitations,
And its endings are too abrupt,
We are bound to it, enslaved by the mere idea,
No, it doesn't matter how much time passes or how old we get,
*There will never be enough words or time for you to understand a love which has no limits.

Humans,

All skin and bones.

All frail hearts and quiet souls.

All thirsty for love, longing for life.

All hoping that happiness will outweigh the strife.

All hungry for pain and suffering to cease,


But only in death, will
All find peace.

I called for her and she came to me,
In my lucid state.
She looked so different, so beautiful,
So radiant, and free.
"Visit me," I begged, finding that she was getting harder and harder to see.
"Not yet, you aren't ready. I only come to those who need me."
I began to understand, tears streaming down my face at a fast rate.
There was nothing I could do, she was gone as quickly as she came.
So until the day I need her, I must patiently wait.
I just hope you know that without you here, nothing is the same.

I gave you the key to the garden where my secrets were safely kept,
And I showed you the flowers sown by my scars, my mistakes, and the corners where they were neatly swept.
But under the stars, you came in and trampled it all while I peacefully slept.
You had planned this all along, I'd consider it a successful attempt.

I awoke to the gate barely swinging on its hinges,
Horrified of what I would discover next, every muscle in my body cringes.
You've created a fire in me, destroying the trails, the fresh air, it singes.
The bright colors of my flowers, the flames, it tinges.

Realizing what you had done, my hopes began to sink.
All the lies you whispered to me, I wasn't sure what to think.
I should have seen this coming, the puzzle pieces began to link.
So I grabbed a piece of paper,
Using my heart as the ink.

I painted my mistakes as a precaution for the world to see,
Lines, details, colors brushed with my regrets, each stroke, showing them what they didn't want to be.
Seeing the finished picture, I knew I had found the purpose meant for me,

*To make a beautiful work of art, using the power of broken poetry.

Have you ever been so close to love that you could feel it radiating around you?

So sweet that you could almost taste it?

I am within and without

Surrounded by love, radiating off of those around me,
But yet, I am without it.

I cannot grasp its meaning.
My longing to understand it is one of the strongest desires of my heart.

But I'm afraid.

Afraid that as close as I have come to accepting love, to carrying it inside of me,
I fear that close to love, will be the closest I'll ever get.

You see, love is a tricky little thing.
It could be your greatest accomplishment,
And in the same breath,
Your greatest downfall.

Is it worth the risk?
*I fear I'll never know.

My body, composed of tiny grains of sand,

was swept away into your ocean,

and never found again.

She told me, based on her past, this probably wouldn't last,
So when she told me to run, I didn't want to believe it,
To that small ounce of hope, I held fast.

How can I still be hung up on someone when we only had one date?
Honestly, I still want and miss her, when my heart's in a vulnerable state.

I'd never been that way about anyone else, like no matter what happened between us, nothing could have changed how strongly I felt.

She will always be at the back of mind and it's out of my control,
and if you look close enough, you'll probably find a part of her in my soul.

I know it sounds cliché, but for me, she was the one that got away.
And I will always be left wondering if there was something I could have said or done differently that would have made her want to stay.

People don't understand how someone can be so full of life,
And the next moment, empty,
So I've come to tell you how,
I'll try to put it simply.

We all know how the food chain works, we have to take one's life to live,
Depression works in a similar way,
But it needs YOUR life to live.
It is born in you, remaining still until it decides to take,
So the life you saw in our eyes, I promise it wasn't fake.

Robots, controlled by a uncontrollable hurricane,
We are swallowed by the sea,
What's worse is we never learned how to swim,
The bottom is the only future for us there will be.

We search for an escape as we quickly begin to sink,
Our chests begin to burn, making it very hard to think,
Trying to take our mind off the darkness, we focus on something brighter,
Remembering letting go of what's inside will make us a whole lot lighter,

Our bodies will float to the top of the water and there we will be free,
Knowing there's no time to waste, our bodies start to fatigue,
First, we strip away our hope because our hope lies on the surface,
Realizing happiness and laughter, at the bottom there would be no purpose.

The love in our heart is too heavy, so we let it drift away,
Knowing that keeping anything within, would doom us our last day.
Our emotions just weigh us down, so we let go of those too,
But you have to know it wasn't easy saying goodbye to the life that we once knew,

Now all that's left are dull memories of the "normal" life we once held,
The beautiful moments of joy and happiness, on these memories we'd dwell.
Our sight is enveloped by hopeless darkness, we gave up all we had,
But the lightness we felt lying there wasn't all that bad.

With nothing on the inside, we have no burden to carry,
We have ourselves and no one else for which we needed to worry.
And with our last breath, we manage the word sorry,
But no one seems to care,
When they finally find our body, the only thing they do is stare.

They wonder how you used to be so full of life,
Exchanging one by one each painful memory,
Everyone weeps wishing they knew then, what they know now,
Falsely believing that somehow they could have saved all that's left of you now, which is empty.

Have you ever considered trees to be as people? Not one the same. Each and every frame, different.

Their roots running so deep, but not often do they allow one to see past the surface.

Oh, if we were only as grounded as they are. So set within themselves. Strong, confident.

Shedding their past away, letting go, so new can grow. Even if, for a while, they seem lifeless and empty.

We could learn how to be free. To see every season in our lives exactly how they should be. Never knowing, but Constantly growing.

Cut in half, we are able to taste the layers, the depth of who they are. The flavor of all of their scars.

To some, they taste bitter. But when the right one finds their way in, the flavor is sweet. Different from anything they have tasted before. Like everything they were hoping for, yet somehow more.

We should admire their selflessness. They take but only so they can give more. Giving someone a home. A place to feel safe. Every leaf blossoming from their selfless core.

Maybe that is why they are so vibrant. Their inner beauty cannot be hidden. Never put to shame. Different, yet all the same.

We are all unique, we have our own quirks and flaws. But in a way, we aren't all that different.

We all grow, we all carry the layers from our past. But with that, comes an inner strength. A power within that will forever last.

We find someone who will bring out our beauty. A beauty so vast, so pure.
The burden of life, the hard times, we endure.

Search for beauty in others. When you take, take only to give more. Stay true to yourself. Be free. Let go. But most of all, see every opportunity as a chance to grow.

You dissolve me into a beautiful nothingness.




And that terrifies me.

Guilt surrounds us with darkness and at the same time, expects us to carry the weight of the world.

I used to have a love for the ocean,
But now it's surely gone.
I laid delicately on the beach one night,
But I disappeared by dawn.
Even though they warned me the water was dangerous,
I built my castle on its sand,
I believed no one could destroy my sanctuary,
But you weren't something for which I planned.
When I saw your waves approaching,
I knew it was far too late,
For my walls were very strong,
But I was naive and left open the gate.
You threw me into your vicious hurricane,
Swallowing me whole,
You stole the heart I kept inside,
And all that's left was hollow.
You knew I had no defenses,
So you swept me away in your tide,
Even though you hid the smirk from your face,
You couldn't mask your pride.
I allowed you to be my ocean,
And you selfishly consumed every part of me.
It's just really sad knowing it was only one mistake,
*And I'd forever lost my love for the sea.

His eyes were filled with sadness and loneliness, yet all I could see was perfection.

She had a dark soul,
That brought out the galaxies in her eyes,
And every time she looked up at me,
It was if I began to float up into her skies,

On my way up,
Her delicate cool breeze sent chills up my spine,
But I never understood why all I felt was warmth,
When she softly pressed her lips against mine,

When I'm with her, everything freezes,
I seem to forget all concepts of time,
All I want to do is dive deeper,
So to new heights I climb,

I'm intrigued by her unknown,
The places no one has touched before,
The darkest corners that she keeps hidden,
The ones she tries so hard to ignore,

The longer I spend exploring,
The more her universe draws me in,
And the more I stay mesmerized,
When I gently trace the constellations
That surface on her pale skin,

She says she feels numb,
From years of keeping within herself,
Weightless and empty,
But I know she's just shutting out all the hurt,
Isolated and lonely,

I want to always be with her and for what it's worth,
I don't think all the gravity in the world,
Would be strong enough to pull me back down to earth,

I want to be enveloped by everything that she is,
All my fragmented parts suspended in her infinite bliss,

But she warned me that she let go of her heart long ago,
And now it's lightyears away,
No matter how hard I tried I could never catch up,
So I guess I was never really meant to stay.

Dear you,

When I picture my heaven, I picture it with you.

And, though I knew I loved you so, you were not someone I knew.

I admired the innocence in your eyes when you stared deeply into the stars,

Without a hint of hesitation, I find acceptance in everything you are.

I look at your soft hair blowing in the wind, and the mesmerizing moon rays that shine off your delicate skin.

I love your heart that radiates warmth and the depth of your soul, I have yet to comprehend.

Even though we haven't met, if I may be so bold, you are my treasure. You are gold.

I know that what we have is meant to be. So I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you.

*Sincerely,
               Me.

No one has ever cared for me like you do.

*And I apologize for how many I let try..

In your mind, you walk into the same trap, you never seem to escape from.

Chasing the things you wish for yourself, and they never seem to come.

You turn around and settle for mediocre things that do,

All the while, letting resentment and bitterness grow inside of you.

You envy those that seem to live without pain or care,

And you watch them as they stick their noses up at the sight of your stare.

You walk through life believing that for you, there's not a purpose,

Never listening to the people who say it's not true.

But you're so ignorant, in believing that all your worth is on the surface,

Even though, what's on the inside is what holds all your value.

After years of discontentment, you finally look within, and in your mind set free,

Realizing that acceptance of self was, in fact, the key to becoming the person you always wished to be.

I wish you could see how much I care. Can't you tell through the way I stare?
Or has life given you too much of its **** for you to see beyond its suffocating air.

I feel you there but when I look into your eyes, your soul is miles away.
Wishing it were somewhere between what you want and what it can never be.

Oh, what I'd give to help you see that everything you need is right here. What I'd give to be the reason your soul could stay, to nurture it, to bring out its beauty, and always hold it dear.

But it's useless. My desires are merely swept away in the hurricane of pain and toil that comes with allowing your soul to live amongst its soil.

I could never dare to have the audacity to ask your soul to lay with mine. For our thoughts to intertwine and our hearts to beautifully combine.
No, I will never be worthy of that much happiness, the idea of you loving me is just plain madness.

I'm not one for wishful thinking. To believe that your soul would consider leaving the comfort of its simple solitude. The guilt of you facing the hopeless desolation of reality, is something too heavy for me to carry.

But my selfish lust for your soul has led me to this moment.
The words I've been holding back gracefully dance across my tongue and wait patiently on my lips for me to give my consent.

Then, I'm interrupted by your smile. I see that you are finally content with where your world has kept you.
Pain touches every part of my inmost being. I know I'll never be the one that brings you the life you could never find here.  

But even with tears in my eyes, still, all I could do, was smile too. Because in the end, all I ever wanted was for you to be happy.

Fog hangs above in the sky.


Yet, I know not how you managed to let it cloud your heart.

The more we have,
The more we have to be miserable about.

The more we discover,
The more we have to doubt.

It was easy counting all the days I've ever felt happiness.

All I had to do was count the days I spent with you.

And with each new boy that came and went,

She hardened her heart just a bit.

And now, it no longer beats.

Her body, it no longer heats.

She walks around with a hole that was supposed to be filled by someone.

Hope you're all happy, seeing what you have done.

Now, she will never get a chance to experience that joy,


And girls, that's what you get for wasting your hopeful hearts, on a bunch of foolish boys.

Have you ever noticed how the stars disappear when you're surrounded by city lights?

Stars, millions of light years away, so vibrant and illuminating that we can still see them, even though they're far away.

But when man-made light, so weak and dull when compared to the light of the stars, is cast where you are standing, the faint light seems to blot out the majestic stars.

Why is that?

People are like that too. Some with this inner light, so captivatingly beautiful, it's as if you can see their light from miles away.

But most of the time, people will dark hearts and dull light when placed beside the wonderful inner light, seem to outshine those that should be taking everyone's breath away.

Yet, even the light of the stars isn't enough.

As I stare into the flames, my thoughts consume me.

Memories of you, racing through me.

Some beautiful, some repulsive, but they are altogether too much for me to bear.

Why is this what I get in return for my care?

We'd rather have stone cold hearts.
That way, there are no broken parts.

There's no pain that comes with not feeling, in not being vulnerable.

In fact, they are the ones sought after,  no attachment needed, comfortable.

But that's not how we are meant to be, dependent, fragile, broken.

And to have someone treasure our hearts, with unconditional devotion.

What happens is, the true meaning of love gets lost in translation. We lose all hope.

Hope is what keeps us sane. Gives us purpose. Helps us focus. Without it, everything is just pointless.

Without it, we are unable to cope.

*To put it simply, we are just no match for love, when we have not hope.

Two ears*,

Still, in silence,

I cannot seem to

Hear my own voice.

Different is like being stranded on an island where no one looks or sounds anything like you.

They stop.
They stare.
They talk.
But never understand.

Time passes,
You learn their language.
You learn their culture.
You learn how to fit in.

But on the inside, you know that you'll never be one of them.
They will never feel the disconnect that is life for you each day.

And deep down, you know that, in reality, they will never really see you as one of them, anyway.

You are different.
The Best of its kind.
Your simplicity,
I needed to find.
Your charisma,
Your charming eyes,
My logic,
It quickly defies.
Your humor,
Unravels me.
Your words,
They comfort me.
Your eyes,
Entrance me.
Your heart,
It beckons me.
Your mind,
Amazes me.
Your body...
It surrounds me.
Your warmth,
Invites me.
Your hands,
They touch me.
But your lips,
They destroy me.

My heart was in front of me,
And my fears left behind.
She was everything but she was nothing,
And she consumed every part of my mind.

She told me to drop my weapons,
So I let all my defenses go.
But her intent was never to love me,
I'm a fool.
But then again, how was I supposed to know?

What started as a flame,
Quickly became a roaring fire.
She ruined all that I treasured within,
So why do I still desire her?

She crept inside me and grabbed hold of my soul,
She took every part she wanted,
Leaving nothing for my own.
"Say you're in love with me.."
She beckoned, knowing I was weak,
Aha! She has control now,
Menacingly kissing me on the cheek.

I've come to learn that pleasing her is impossible,
At least for any period of time,
Always manipulating to get what she wants,
If you don't do exactly what she says, you've done a major crime.

"Once a cheater, always a cheater I guess,"
She said aloud as we walked under the moon.
It's my fault for believing from that statement, I was immune.

So with all the strength I have built for myself,
I force myself to stand.
Even though I want to, I know I love myself enough to know I can't give it a second chance.

As I layed there soaking up the smell of her skin,
I knew I'd found everything I was looking for.
I'm sorry, I know some of you believe it's a sin,
But everything is so right, I've never been so sure.

My body encased in the warmth that radiated from hers,
I've never felt happiness like this,
My soul is so content,
Like we had been connected long ago, two souls that became distant.

But now we are together,
And I've finally found my home,
No plans to ever separate,
Every part of me, she owns.

She's like the sun after days of rain, beaming down, making everything shine.
Everything about her entrances me,
Oh god, how my heart longs to call her mine.
My world will never be the same,
I can't believe how different it is this time.

She is what they talk about when they say you just know,
How everything falls into place,
Nothing else matters,
So happy I can't even sleep,
she's made me so,
Every expectation, I held, she shattered.

I've never felt safer in anyone's arms,
Her lips, as sweet as honey,
Her smile, every part of me warms.
Did I mention she's really funny?

Sorry, the best is taken now,
I've said all I can say,
Forever my mind will wonder how,
She's so perfect in every way.

Laying in the graveyard of our memories,

I watch as brown leaves slowly break away and fall to the ground.

Like our memories, I watch as they are carried off in the wind.

Every beginning has an end.
But endings bring beginnings.

I know that even though everything is dying around me, there will be new life...

I just don't know if I can hold on for that long. How much longer my heart can endure the strife.

His eyes.
I look into them and see every longing, every passion.
The depth of them, I have yet to comprehend.
I can't describe the way he looks at me.
It's as if his eyes see right through me,
Penetrating every wall,
Exposing my every flaw.
Yet, when our eyes lock,
All I feel is safe.
It's as if he knows every part of me,
And loves everything he knows.
His eyes yearn to search deeper,
To know every inch of my soul.
Am I a fool to let him in?
Getting my hopes up, only to be left broken and destroyed again?
I won't regret, this time,
Never giving myself the chance to fall.
I will either fall straight into his arms,
Or straight to my destruction.


But fall I will,
And fall she did.

My heart is a broken compass, the way is unknown,
So I found it very difficult when my soul longed for home.

For some time, I followed the wind but there was never a destination, although it did take me so many places, a never ending vacation.

I eagerly followed the twinkling stars at night, falsely believing I would be guided by their light,
But all they had to offer was confusion.

Wondering if home was merely a delusion, I remembered the birds, always having such a determined route,
So I followed them, even though my mind was filled with doubt,

Always moving, I started to wonder if they had a home,
Yet, in each other's company, they seemed to find contentment.
They were always flying, but there was not one set place to which they went,

So maybe home is not a place, it's somewhere that makes you feel secure, someone who, when you feel out of place, they remind you that in yourself you can be sure. When everything goes wrong, home is the first place you run to,



*And suddenly, my heart somehow found its way to you.

Of course, I loved you.

*It's the only way I could have let you go.

You told me in the beginning, "I'm good at cutting people out of my life."
And, "I'll probably never have a wife."

So why am I surprised when I get no reply?
Not even one, simple goodbye.

I never thought silence could feel so cold.
You can't close a chapter when there is still a gaping hole.
Surely, there is more of the story to be told.

I didn't expect it to last forever, but I also didn't expect it to end so soon.

I just wish I could see you one last time,
A closure of some kind.
But I guess that takes some effort,


*Which you never could seem to find.

In an effort to be all that I cannot,
I have welcomed my own destruction.

I don't let anyone destroy me.

But for you, I'm afraid, I've made an exception.

I gave you everything I had, you put my every inhibition to rest,

Yet the demon inside of you, no longer stayed as a guest.

You welcomed it inside and let it overcome you.

I foolishly handed my soul over. So inside of me, its power also grew.

We were swallowed in the lies. His words beckoned us, so hopeful and promising.

We were blinded by them and now it's left us confused, struggling.

And now you're calling me, telling me you're ready to give up, that all you want is to let go.

But if you let go, it will take me with it.  
We are tied down. We have been from the start.

All I wanted was for us to be a masterpiece, a breathtaking work of art.

We are falling, we are destroyed.


The demon's left now, but in us there will always be void.

"I'm ready to be free," I whispered with all the strength left in me.

He agreed, together we jumped, finally escaping life's grip.

Looking back, content, knowing we were everything we ever could be,
We closed our eyes and enjoyed life's one, last, final trip.