Amidst others, yours catch my glance.
Numb, I keep my stare,
I pity Polydectes, who too fell.

But you let go.

As I close mine,
I see them
uneven green
snake eyes.

Eyes wide shut -
I cannot sleep. You distract me.

Seeing you lay there
at the window
breathing out smoke
eyeing me as I tie my shoes.

I lose myself in the deep green
which moves with every step I take.
We say nothing. A disappointed smile
says it all.

Frustrated, I see the red, waiting for it to
become orange, then green;
wanting it to be the earlier green -
a longing for your smooth touch,
for the taste of cigarettes from your lips.

- I open my eyes and see nothing but black.
Alone I lay, on an empty bed.

To do list

- Find someone who keeps you up at night

I lay alone, in a dark, deep path,
under misty black skies
pouring down its tears upon me.
Tears that were never meant to be
during a period full of sighs,
full of doubt. Sadness turned to wrath.

I saw two doors;
one of hope, another of despair.
Only one held the key, but to which?
I avoided this hitch.
He came in aid when I held up a flare.
I know where I want to be. Yours.

Now I will be the skies' shoulder to cry on.
Whom I gave my tears to, now smiles and cries.
Yet I stand alone, undecided
with no answer provided.
I look into your eyes.
You have the key, my future's holder.

The way I see things
if I were Ted,
You'd be Robin.
All a series of broken strings.

I don't get a choice, not this time.
I'll always come back to you, no matter what.
Love is the best thing we do.
It’s our drive. To envy, lust and crime.

It's not love if I pick another.
It's not love. Not meant to be,
something silly. Forced upon, not by destiny.
You know it’s true. We've chemistry. You're not just a number.

No, it's not wise or safe to think of you -
Especially because we're not likely to ever happen.
Then why do I choose to torture myself?
Why do I aim at catching a bird, when it has already flew?

Is there a reason why I turn back?
For not trying to find a new soul to match
mine? I'm not afraid of the future.
I don't run back to the past. Waiting for my heart to crack.

Because it's love - It doesn't make sense.
I don't care if I get hurt. I don't mind beating myself up.
It's okay just looking at you and just be thinking -
How amazing you are - how wonderful must it be to be close to you, without any suspense.

You once said, that my face always brightens up
whenever I see you. And you're right.
That is that it because I see yours
brighter and more clearly than anything
Irrelevant of what you're wearing. Irrelevant of your makeup.

I don't want to part ways;
just these few months have been hell.
I want to take your hand and just hold it,
knowing it's mine for the rest of our days.

Though, I'm not clutching your hand.
Because I'm losing you. You're fading away.
I’m losing the real you. Not the idea of being with you.
And destructive as it may be, it is so **** grand.

What I’ve learnt from five great friends,
is that I can easily lose someone I love
someone who’s special. So I act.
I do something about it.
So that the possibility never ends.

Truth is, that I can’t promise that we’ll be together,
that you’ll be mine. That you’ll be in eternal happiness.
I can’t vow to be perfect. I vow that I’ll love you though.
When it’s sunny, overcast or stormy weather.

I get it why you’re scared. It’s okay to be afraid.
I, too, am frightened, lost, in between questions.
But why not think about tomorrow? The past is familiar
but as long as I’m with you, never in doubt, never betrayed.

Yet I must keep my calm. As I am thinking about tomorrow
when midnight has not even strike. Haste is not right.
If it has to happen, it’ll happen.
I don’t want to rush. So I’ll try and take it slow.

- And yes, I wrote this poem thinking of a certain bella,
taking lines from television. However, don’t discredit me
as I’ve meant every line written here, during this journey,
seeking the girl with the yellow umbrella.

For a whole year, you were a ghost to me
Within the same room, yet you were unseen
Then I saw your face on a piece of paper -
You are so beautiful. I then could see
Talking to you, I was always so keen
Without a word, you made my life greater.

Once, drunk, I hugged you in a suit.
Outside on a balcony, whilst having a drink
I confessed my attraction for you.
At first, conversations were mute.
Just a few utters, without a single blink.
Days had only passed and affections grew.

There was a time when I thought I lost you.
It was not my lips who told you of my heart's desires,
You shut the door on a relationship
And shut me out as well. My chance I had blew.
Time heals pain as much water puts out fire.
The period of silence I'd like to skip.

Oh and that perfect hour!
We had spent talking just the three
On a Tuesday morning, before noon
Later on, I felt that unfamiliar feeling
Of happiness inside of me -
You had given life to the moon.

To pick one favourite moment
From walking with you to English class
Or shaking your hand in celebration,
It would be when you talked to me
About your group, I had comment
Days before. Why did the moment pass?
I have no reconciliation of that duration.

Destiny had put us again within the same walls
This time for an exam, in which we both had succeed
That now led us to study the same subject
Hoping it wouldn't lead to one of the great falls
I'll tell you - I'd do anything - For you I'd bleed
I won't mind having my life wrecked.

I don't know what the future holds.
Not even if it's bright or dark.
But I'm sure - you are so beautiful.
I wish that a new story unfolds;
One of happiness. One of love that is stark.
A boy and a girl who will always be truthful.

A story of two lovers, forever bound.
The beautiful girl, with an indescribable smile. Her voice, a lovely sound.
And the boy who is blind, never leaves his lover.
He cannot see, by a love that is stubborn.

Waiting for me to make a move
like waiting for cold coffee to get hot.

Drop by drop. One follows another.
Continual ripples. Meeting only at the circular bound.
Don't tell me that you detest it. How can you detest something so beautiful?
A source of your own individuality. Deepening your thoughts,
widening your perception. Showing you light in your darkest hours.

It takes away the colour. Letting it stream down the road.
Gathered in one single puddle, is a person's lonely thoughts.
And I feel for the man. He who was not listened.
I feel for the man. He who felt comfort streaming down his face.
Exposing him to reality and truth.

I only have love for it, not loathe.

On wet days, I stare at it pouring down in solace.
Why is it ignored? Why does he keep on walking?
So I reach out my hand, I welcome and embrace it.
I try to show comfort, for it is what it does to me.

Every time it rains and I'm walking I
Step into a puddle, leaving my socks wet.
Every time this happens, I don't mind. I don't
Regret it, despite my feet being cold.
Even though it's not the greatest feeling, I'm
Happy to have stepped in this puddle. And
This time, my feet may never get dry.

How does it feel to put
Puzzles in my head? Lovely
Everyday, I see you walking;
Taking me away by that
Suspicious smile on your beautiful face.

Every time I step into a café
I look around, checking if a particular someone
is already there – sitting alone, with a book, lying on the table
But she’s never there. Not yesterday. Not today.

When I see her, I just wonder
How’s she doin’ – always seems to be fine
Always carrying that beautiful smile –
That’s when I start to blunder

Because I start to think, more than I should
Thinking that she’s my soul mate, she’s my lobster
that she’s the one I must be with. And I actually believe it.
I will be with her for good.

Now she’s in front of me, I can smell her perfume
but cannot grasp her hand. She does not look –
I don’t know if she knows what I know
that one day she’ll be the bride, and I the groom

And I’m thinking – ‘this is my chance -
I’m not gonna blow it’. The words are at the tip
of my tongue but can’t be uttered. I start to
think of all the nights we’ll spend in romance

She’s gone. I don’t see her anymore
Possibly she’s dating some other guy
I tell myself, it’s gonna be fine;
it’s just a crush. She’s probably a *****.

I keep trying to get rid of these feeling
that now are no longer stranger to me
for I’ve loved a number of women – but this one
she’s different. I love her for no reason.

I realise I don’t want to move on but
be with her. Can’t give up. That is not something
a dinosaur would do. And I feel happy.
I feel complete. I feel driven, excitement in my gut.

If I do one day get her, I am sure
that I won’t let her go. But hold her
close to me, even on some breaks.
We’ll stay in a love that is pure.

Vowing that I will try and make you happy as much
as you make me, I’ll do anything for you
just to see you smile again
to which I smile again, with every touch.

Sitting alone, in a café, looking at a coffee bean
I remain wondering, if you’d get off a plane for me -
for us. If we’ll ever be.
If you’ll ever realise that you’re my Rachel Green.