Dear father
I love you
I say it everyday
It must be true

I've been hurting for years
Finding love in people
Who only wanted to use me

I've been blaming myself
I've been blaming everyone else
Never admitting the truth

I don't hate anyone
I promised myself i wouldn't become
Someone who could

My memories haunt me
Every day you taunted me
And disregarded my feelings

I sat in a corner
I was only a child
Your eyes were wild

Wild with anger
I always felt in danger
Never for a moment at ease

Yet i wonder where i get anxiety
You only did as you pleased
You claim you love me

I tremble around men
I tremble around loud noises
I never knew what joy was

I heard you yelling
And all the evil things you were telling
To my mother everynight

You ****** wished i didn't exist
I took too much food from the shopping list
I was only but a burden in your way

Yet you cry for us to stay
I was your precious little girl
Once told me i was your whole world

Then you snapped
You never came back
You broke me apart

Tore apart my whole heart
I still can't admit it
The person i hate the most is

Because i don't hate
I won't be like you
Clouding yourself in anger

Every broken memory i have
Is me crying while you laugh
You never did encourage me

If you did i can't remember
God i feel like a traitor
For saying how i truly feel

I need to let it out
Yes i dare to pout
You won't shame me anymore

Dear father,
I hate you

Empty
           Void

I was nothing
But silence
Silence screamed
Pouring death into me

Daggers on my tongue
From my mouth they sprung
I couldn't stop

No one listened
Shadows consumed
Then left me for the moon

i cried everynight
Begging for god
To listen
Anyone to please listen

My cries bellowed
I saw demons
They laughed at me
Leaving me in agony

I lost my music
I had it long ago
I must have left it
Buried in snow

Snowflakes fell
The beauty lost in the dirt
I had once heard magic
Until all i saw was tragic

Piercing pistols of silence
Gripped into my body
Leaving only blood wounds
Open for monsters to consume

I'm so afraid everyday
I'm starting to awake
Climbing the mountain
To hear the musical fountain

Splashing and consuming
The water up there is clear
Rushing and cleansing
My body is trembling

I am seeing musical notes
They are colorful as a rainbow
It was dark and cloudy
Until the rain hit my body

I'm following the rainbow
I see a *** of gold at the end
I'm so afraid to keep going
What if i fall with never knowing

The embrace of gold
The warmth of success
I've destroyed myself
I can't even trust a rainbow
The colors could be a false show

Moon look upon me
Im fall
          l

          l
          i
         n
         g
Into you

Sun hide me
Im bUrning
       N
       D
       E
       R
your light

Dear stars
You s h i n e
I want you
Forever mine

Galaxies in the sky
Fantasies in your eyes
Twirling blue and black
Depth they do not lack

Clouds bring me rain
Pour unto me reflections
Puddles Within
Are you my other world twin

Thunder scream and roar
Into my soul
I feel thy strength
Soaring overboard

Elements of the sky
I look above and cry
Some tears of sorrow
Others of hope for tomorrow

You are loud
Most colorful
With unexpected surprises
Bringing curiosity into lives

My eyes see
Into the moons eyes
The light shadow
Bring me warmth sitting on my
                                patio

Sweet sleep
Sweet dreams
Nothing is as dark as it seems

Blurry eyes
Letting go
Waking up from the nightly flow

Sweet rest
Sweet sorrow
It'll be different by tomorrow

Queasy stomach
Crackled lips
Getting ready for more quips

Sweet love
Sweet comfort
In real life it seems only a desert

The day is scary
Shackle on armor
and head out still startled

Sweet night
Sweet warmth
Maybe my dreams will find my worth

Everyone walks a certain way
I akways decide to skip instead
A hop and skip is more fun
Until everyone starts to run

They run faster
Leaving me in the dust
I slow down
And begin to rust

I've always been different
Never realized just how much
I want to fit in somewhere
But I'm afraid to be bare

Show everyone my skin
Show everyone the colors
But colors are also made with scars
Scars came from to many wars

Battling myself
Everyone made fun
I was always a sad little freak
Never glamorous or Chique

Stab you
STAB
BURN YOU IN YOUR BLOOD

YOU USED ME
I KNOW
YOU ******* ***

REAP WHAT YOU SEW
I'LL TRAMPLE EVERYONE
THAT'S HURT MY SOUL

Ignore me
Throw me aside
Take your fist
And ******* me inside

My face burrowed in despair
My eyes sank into the floor
You sat and laughed right over there

Same as all before
Use me for your needs
And then ignore

Act like no harm was done
While you make way
Using another to ***

I'm tired
  Tired
     Tired

stop using me
Stop throwing me away
Stop ******* ignoring what i say

My eyes shined for you
But just as quick as they did
You threw me in the trash bin

Everytime I let free
The love hiding inside
forced everytime to hide and cry

anger brews my boiling blood
My mind is screaming
Only frigid cold up above

They won't talk to me
So I'll make them scream
******* ***** won't let me breathe

COME CLOSER
I'LL STAB YOU IN THE HEART
YOU CAN FEEL THE SAME AGONY
TEARING ME APART

SHARP PAIN STARTS IN MY CHEST
GOES INWARD
YOU DONT SEEM IMPRESSED

LET ME KEEP STABBING
STABBING
    STAB
         BING
YOU'LL BE ALL ******
AND CRYING

MAYBE YOU'LL UNDERSTAND
HOW PAINFUL CUTS CAN WOUND

CRY OUT FOR ME
BUT MY ATTENTION
HAS CHANGED COMPLETELY
YOU'RE JUST
TRASH
   NOW

I'm sorry you're dying
But how pathetic
   Leave me alone
      Oh stop crying

They say
'Follow your heart'
But if your heart is
In a million pieces,
Which piece do you follow?