I thought I had a thousand words
Folded, like cranes, to gift you
My mouth cannot make their shapes,
They taste of regret, which
Unsettles me, you
Once as familiar to me as
The veins that decorate my
Wrists that I offered you, soft,
Meatless and vulnerable, I
Handed you a cunning blade and
Prayed you would not cut too deeply, or
Too casually, with disregard, I
Took my time in concluding that
A weapon must be passed, with
The blade turned inward, toward
The one who would be wounded most harshly, were they
To stumble and fall upon the cutting edge of trust.

This is not to be swept under the rug of the ocean,
No not under the rug.
The vast depths of the sea hold the worlds deepest secrets-
The calm waters have a voracious appetite for your mind.
This is not to be swept under the rug of the ocean.
The sea is the greatest keeper of secrets-
Loyal, mindful and wise,
But the emotions should be had and not swept out to sea.
Not into the deepest depths of the ocean.
The ocean holds the world-
It washes the souls with peace.
And though the ocean can relieve the affects of the feeling,
It cannot vanquish the  sentiment eternally.
Therefore it mustn't be swept under the rug of the ocean.

Insecurity:
You'd never believe me.
I fear much:
And that includes losing touch.
Insecurity-
What is wrong with me?
I can't bear this fear,
Of being left here-
To fend for myself-
To save myself-
To be myself,
But I've lost that-
Me.
I'm so lost that my map is lost.
Of course you're my map, so that would make sense that I would be lost when you leave me.

Love can be boiled down to science
A solution of chemicals colliding to form feeling
Oxytocin, testosterone, endorphins
It’s something you can learn
But it’s not

No one can learn the way you smile
Without seeing it for themselves
No one can memorize the curves of your body  
Or how they feel under my touch
The fluttering in my chest when you laugh
Is not something that can be injected
Your lips against mine
Not something to be sold on dark streets

You’re fireworks exploding in my rib cage
Setting fire to my bloodstream like it were gasoline
And I have no regrets for that
And that’s not something
That can be formulated
Calculated
Or taught
By anyone other than you and me

You said you're not a writer
But I think you're wrong
For when you touch me I feel your soul
You write poems on my skin with your lips
And sonnets with your fingertips
And if your heart poured forth ink
I'd be black with your love

White moon screen
Guiding light to insomniac wolves
Struggling to close their eyes  
So when I howl at this full moon
Will you sing with me
And let your voice cry to the heavens
Spill out your tears into Ariel font
Lone wolves send bleeding messages
The most lost write the sweetest songs

Today the sky decided to resemble you and your mind;
Overwhelming indigo for your iridescent eyes,
how they turn from blue to grey
until they reveal the way you're aligned.

Soothing violet for the depth and majesty of your thoughts,
bright enough to warn you,
yet vulnerable and velvety enough
to ground your knots.

Groundbreaking blush for the colour of your cheeks
and the warmth that evokes from your touch,
ceasing every feeling of cold
one has ever choked on.

Faded orange, for the sun against your skin
and the way you breathe.
How it stings against your spine
and the way your tan chest rises
with every gasp of air that's underneath.

And last, an almost colourless yellow,
worn-out by the vehemence of your craving,
for the light in your eyes when you gaze at what you adore
and the power within your heart's palpitations,
begging you to live life to the core.

How I wish,
when you looked at me it ignited your eyes.

And when you stared,
your eyes would be blue instead of ice.

How I wish,
I could grasp a bit of what unravels in your bewildering mind.

I want to feel your lukewarm touch against my skin;
the cold has latched on to every corner of my being
and I am in need to leave it behind.

I long to graze your sun kissed skin
and for the sun's burn to linger there,
I yearn to even my vague breathing
with your stable gasps of air.

But if you beg me to summarise,
I just wish you would stare.

As the days go by
And the year comes to a close
I look back and realize
Just how much has changed.
A year ago I stood with you
Shattered and ruined
Here I am finally ready
To leave you in this year.
Not only did I lose you
But I lost a dear friend
She'll also stay behind
Keep each other company.
I've been through different jobs
Emergency room twice
Permanent scars
To remind me of this year.

But lets talk about the positives
I figured myself out
I took the year to change
And it's finally working out.
I finally feel happy
At peace with myself
I met someone new
I learned what love really is.
I got closer to a friend
Who showed me what friendship is
Stopped drinking my feelings
Stopped eating them too.

The things that I lost
Don't bother me much
Because the things that I gained
Are much better, trust.