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You don't have to go back
I wouldn't want you to
I know, deep down you aren't that person anymore
And who you are now is what you were always meant to be
But I will never forget the day I found you
Ha..
As though something so great could possibly be undiscovered.
No, you were known
And I was simply to blind
Too ignorant to your existence
But my eyes were opened
To see the stars blazing in yours
as you achieved something
something that at the time you believed to be greatness
I don't know what you think about that day now
I don't even know you
But I know everything is changing.
What we can do now is far different
from what we could do back then
But I will always look fondly on the day
that you achieved
18:10
I used to chase you
now I chase my *****

with lime
Armstrong landed
Icarus burned
Some find love
Some just hurt...

everyone.
Cloaked in a tapestry of evening sky
I dim my light to hide amongst the masses
If only for one night
Hemorrhaging life
This heartbeat of mine dims with each passing night
I'm broken and I need mending
But I feel like the last one alive
And if I can't escape the confines of my mind
I'll be dead by daylight.
Wordplay featuring one of my favorite Horror Games.
I hate that life is something to escape

Like we're all animals born in captivity

Itching to slip between the grooves of our skin

Wanting to go home, without knowing where home is

And trying our best

Our very best

To enjoy the temporary things

As we drift down but a small creek

Within time's vast infinity
The first two lines are from a conversation with a friend. The rest is, as they say...history.
Sometimes...
I talk to the moon
And tell it all the things that I can't say to her...
He always used to call me his sun
Though both were born of cosmic flame
They fought too much for both were the same
And so they split night from day
So the other may always have their way...

But the cosmic ties that bond their hearts
Could never truly be pulled apart
So once in a blue moon, and every other red sun
The sky becomes dark...and the two become one.
The weight of my love
Is not your burden to carry
Just as you are not obligated
To be burned by my eternal passions flame
But I wish you would anyway </3
Sometimes I wish memories were water soluble
That these tears might wash them away
But try as I might
This clouded mind
Is where these memories choose to stay
She gave me her keys and I drove her insane
Its no wonder she took the car and changed her name
Now I'm taking busses and hailing cabs with no destination in mind
Wishing I could just go home to you.
Man I do not enjoy being alive right now
Dawn to each other, we overlap
A darkness the world waited to see

Now they wait, again, for another show
While I simply await your return to me.
He is my moon and I am his sun
In my folly I should have kept in mind,
The two were never meant to merge
An eclipse is just a show for the eyes...

And then its done.
Caterpillars evolve into butterflies
And my pen will soon stop writing your name
Life is hard but the one constant
is that nothing ever stays the same.
Maybe they were right, maybe I am crazy
And what else could possibly be done
When so many of my friends fought the oceans depths
And the oceans have always won

Now its my turn to slay the beast
Beneath the endless blue
Maybe I'll emerge victorious
Maybe I'll get to see you...


-For Etika and Javier
The ocean represents depression, and though two of the three people this is dedicated to drowned in some body of water, depression quite literally killed all of them.

And they were my friends...

The second part is about me wanting to dive into the same ocean that Etika did, to see if I could survive what he did not, while simultaneously hoping that I don't for the possibility of seeing him again.
"Sometimes you have to be cold in order to be safe"
And that's just what I'll do
Cloaked in snow
Memories in tow
I'll forge this path anew
You're upset because I don't like you,
but I'm just playing the game.
I've learned from the best
and now the rest
will surely learn the same.
You ask him if he loves you
And in his silence you are torn apart
For your love is just a run-on sentence
And a question mark is just half of a heart
Love loss unrequited heart heartache poetry
Now carry your heart
For its apart of our time
A mosaic of parts
Made from peices of mine
I've hit you up so many times
My veins collapse and still I find
another to shoot what you now sparingly give
You say you're dry, but I know I'm just not your type

of customer
Your breathlessness was the wind beneath my sails that helped me coast these waters

But the tide is high

You've caught your breath

And it threatens to take me under
Idk
Idk
"My thoughts are like paper
Most days, I slide them through the shredder so no one can see. Maybe its just me, but I can't always speak what I think. I mean, I doubt anyone is even listening. Maybe I just need brighter ink."
If I let you hold me close

You might feel where I've fallen apart

Those seams that seem invisible

The weakest of my spots
Our hearts fall apart
And we fumble with our lives
But fret not weary soldier
It be like that sometimes
I break again to be mended differently
But everything's the same
There's nothing that can fix me
And somehow I'm to blame
First line was borrowed from another poet, the last 3 are the fruits of that line's inspiration.
You're akin to the way smoke settles in still air
It lingers for a bit and then you'd never know it was there
I've yet to forget the words to this song, and it echoes in the now empty spaces of my mind. Yeah you ****** me up, and I haven't been sober nearly long enough to find the time. I would relapse and forget the man I was if I could be the guy who knew how to make everything fine. But instead I'll find a different drug...and forget what was surely never mine.
I am so much more than what I see
I just wish that was something I could truly believe.
My love for you is parasocial
But I swear we knew each other once before
Its always a little(very) one sided in the end, isn't it?
In a club full of diamonds, the queen sets herself apart
Wary of the way these kings take spades to hearts
Some more wordplay

(Title is also wordplay here.)
Your lips are like ***** on ice
I'll sip on your bitter disposition
For as long as you make me feel warm inside
“It was supposed to be a rebirth, then why do I feel this way?
Perhaps I’m dead to even the stars, and there’s nothing left to say”
"In the phases of a dying sun, a planetary nebula occurs when the sun finally reaches the end of its life. It expands and scatters across the galaxy before losing all of its light."
Promises promises,
broken like bones;
Jarring, jagged and painful.

Never will I ever know
why I wasn't worth it.
But I know it was my fault
Lost in my thoughts but my mind is too slow
In these quicksand memories, my hearts the first to go

and the rest of me follows
I've tried all kinds of ****
Lord knows I'm an addict
But nothing quite hits
Like you
I relate, Rover.

My battery too, is low.

And it is getting dark

But it will be

Okay

...soon
Its unfair to be born the way I am,

But I can't claim to be good at card games,

If I'm unable to play the hand I was dealt.
They tell us to be brighter than the darkness that surrounds us
But what of the ever encroaching darkness that lies just within?
I call her "Shiver" for the way she makes me feel
Cold but exhilarating like the harshest winter
And it creeps beneath my skin when I draw her in
Her merest touch cold make my skin splinter
You cannot acknowledge the constellations without tracing through the darkness between the stars.
My kind is celestial, interstellar, cosmic,
but my kind is also in perpetual darkness, trying desperately to shine bright enough to make a difference
It's hard when you aren't able to see your own light
Sometimes we just have to look at each other
A distant reminder that we are still alive
That we are parts of a whole
And bright enough to be seen
The lights around me aren't as bright
As the light that I have inside
Yet I feel blind...
maybe it's myself I cant find.
Because everything around me is perfect in its flaws
Worn adhesive, I try to stick to life but I fall.
I wish could just disintigerate into ash and be everywhere
With everyone
Whilst simultaneously being nothing at all
We will never be satisfied
When we get what we want
Always longing for something
Just beyond our reach
Building bridges out of bloodshed
Just to get to the other side
Only to find that another
Lost, greedy soul
Made it here first

And now you want what they have too.
Depression is the gateway drug

Because I'll try anything
Absolutely anything
To make this feeling stop
I can’t shake this feeling

That everything is fleeting

Like sand through my lips

And I’m just a glass

With no chance to flip
You invade my mental with an army of my thoughts
The sharpest memories forged with you in mind
I gave them to you to fight your old demons
Who would have guessed you'd turn into mine
And if you just hurt me this could be easy
But you've been nothing but true
Your truth is just that you don't love me
Nearly as much as I've loved you

And so I have to go.
He invades every piece of my writing, and I can't help but be inspired by the way he marches through my psyche.
You'll do anything for my love

Except love me...
I miss her

But I miss the her that used to look at me, and saw nothing less than her galaxy.
I have so much love in my heart for you, all I can do is write about it.
I've vanished friends like fogotten shipwrecks for the treasures that lay within.
When I'm with you, the dissonance in my heart turns to harmony. Yet, when we're apart, its quite the contrary.
I plant wildflowers in the empty spaces
The places you left behind
Knowing that you'll never return
But hoping that when I'm old
The heather will help me remember
What was once there
And the love that always will be.
I carry you with me like a bouquet of regret
Bittersweet love that I'll never forget.
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