Dear emptiness
I have gotten to know you well. You provoke the thoughts that keep me up in your solitude. Like we’re all just sprinting at a brick wall that we pretend is there, one day I’m gonna hit it saying I told you so to my self. You emptiness are made from my sleepless nights. Such as this one where my brick wall seems only several feet ahead of me. You my emptiness are a pain in the *** to keep to myself, throughout the day your tugged at by others and pulled out by the night. Why do you strive to make me miserable. And so emptiness answer my questions and I’ll answer yours? No I didn’t think so. Well I guess I am just talking to a brick wall, that I’m pretending isn’t there. Dear emptiness you my dearest friend are nothing.

True beauty is indescribable
All you can do when faced with true beauty is stare
It is a shame when staring is considered rude
In reality when someone stares it means they are intrigued by another’s beauty
A beauty that forces you to stare
Can not be seen from the outside of one's heart
Only when a heart is on the edge of breaking can it love someone enough to stare into the meaning of breaking their heart
In turn breaking holds a beauty like no other.

Life began knowing nothing
Feeling nothing
Life ends the same
Knowing nothing
After scars of life
Shredded the knowledge
Gained from nothing
Lost to life
Till we end
As we began
Others knowing how we began and ended
In detail
Yet we learn nothing in detail
We learn nothing in the end
Ending the same as anyone
Meaning thinking and seeing nothing
We end as we began
We began as nothing as do we end.

You know when you say a word over and again it stops sounding like a word. Well the same thing happens when you think of what a word means. Like the meaning of something is broken when you think of what meaning means. Confused? Great. Because that’s words confusing and meaningless separate but together they can be so much more.
If I was to write a whole page long writing on words it would just boil down to cool phrasy thingyies
Which is ironic cause those aren’t even words
What I’m trying to say is don’t use words alone. Write every word with your meaning. Not that I think I’m the best writer , hell from reading this your probably already know that. But I decided just to write no stops just write what I feel will get across maybe, so basically meh just write something with heart so that words hold meaning and don’t just leave you wondering what the hell did I just read. I’m assuming this is a total dumpsterfire but that’s meh cause I wanted to try something and I did so this came out ..... well meh

I want to be intertwined with you
As a trees roots are with the earth
A bird with the wind
As the sun and the moon
A trees roots run deep into the earth
As you find the deepest parts of me that I never let others see.
A bird falls without wind to carry it , I fell for you faster than imagined but surprisingly you my wind caught me, and sent me soaring with a kiss.
The sun and moon have been compared millions of times but I won’t bother comparing you to the sun or moon because you’re beauty surpasses both. You say you can’t see it but you shine so bright that you mearly bind yourself when looking in the mirror. I’m your moon not nearly a reflection of how much you shine. I only reflect your light so that the people can look forward to you.

Why must my brain go on these tangents
The thoughts of what my purpose is and why am I here’s that scream throughout my head
The ecos of a person telling me “I wish you were dead”
Inside myself I know this not to be true
But in reality in the cruel harsh world
I have no purpose
Nothing
We all die in the end so why bother
They say that we all have bad days
Maybe this is one of my bad days
Where the thoughts don’t stop
Of why I am alive to the how should I keep living
I don’t care anymore
They won’t stop ever
There has to be some sort of reason to be here on this earth
Maybe I’m stupid to think that
Maybe there’s nothing out there and it’s all pointless
In response to all of the void I will keep screaming
Even though no one will hear maybe someone will see me
I’m screaming to you
Who can hear me
Find your own point
So that when I find mine we can make a constellation in the stars.

Four little chicks waiting in the nest
One plucked out and waved about
A predator on its daily route
Three little chicks waiting in the nest
Who’ve been fed and fed again
They’ve grown to be quite a pest
They give their mother no rest
Three little chicks should leave the nest
One chick was given a poke and fell out the nest
This chick has never woke from such a poke
Another jumped right off the nest
With puffed out breast
The chick sored with great speed
Straight into a tree the chick hit
It’s skull went split
The last chick out the nest
The mother bird gave it her all
That’s all she thought when the last one did fall
But this chick was the brightest of all
It flew with caution
it kept in the sky
This chick could fly
Unlike the others this chick did not die
This little chick was the lone survivor
Chick was the only one to thrive
Something in its eyes gave it drive
Our little chick grew up
And had five chicks of it’s own
A proud mother
These chicks took a dive of their own
Only few had flown
The mother once again left alone
Had nothing left she was weak old and frail
Barely making it  out the nest
She can remember giving it her best
But now was time for her to rest
She flapped her wings and jumped off the nest

For those who have restless nights as I
Thinking that my own hear sounds like it’s running away from me
I hold my breath to wait and see
The beat gets louder and louder closer and closer
My heart is racing at the idea of not having to race
But still when I let out my breath I’ve been holding in waiting for you my heart to be with me
The only thing I see is you further away
So my heart is not racing when I say you my heart are no longer my heart
You are an escapee of a fond memory
So don’t hold your breath I’ll only be further away

Love is a long list of things that I dropped from the shelf
Shattered into shards of sharp glass that cuts deep but can’t be seen
I am broken as is my love
My love is the shattered parts of me trying to put you back together
I never meant to cut you
I want to be seen by you my love for you are the one who shattered me
It’s okay I’ll be your Humpty Dumpty and you can try and put me back together again ?
No
Okay I’ll just sit in wait on a shelf
For you my broken love to be seen in my reflection .

I stare up into the night
Nothing stares back
Just the dark
The void of thought takes over my mind
My nights are sleepless when I can’t hear noise
Silence is my misery
And yet silence provides a sanctuary
In the night silence is ironically like a white noise of endless worries and thoughts that are louder than a death cry
In the sun silence is rare and nearly unheard of so more likely than not silence provides solitude from the world
Silence drives a man insane and yet noise can do the same. Leaving a double edged blade
Which do you blame the noisy or the

You died with out me being able to see you
They told me that I couldn’t see you that way
I wanted to tell you goodbye
I wanted to tell you that you are beautiful
Because I remember asking why you never took pictures at a young age
You said because you thought you where ugly
I wanted to tell you right then and there that you where beautiful
But I chose that it could embarrass me so instead of making your day I made my self hate that moment and time
Now that you are gone I miss your smile
It took me a little over awhile
To realize that I missed you
That I barely knew you and I wish I could have seemed advice from you
You were kind
You were beautiful despite what believed
So you left me with little wisdom
And a hole in my heart knowing I truly don’t believe in magic but hope it’s real for you
the little wisdom you left me was don’t hold back love your life
It took me a while to start trying to understand your smile I still don’t but in that smile I see all of the joy behind it
Making every smile beautiful
Others only see outwards which is fine but life is more than beauty
Life is timed and goes by fast so you told me not to grow up to make it last
You probably would hate the idea of me writing to you when you’re gone
But I wanted to tell you goodbye I won’t forget.

I fall for you every time I see you.
Words could never do your beauty justice
You once told me that you’re so in love me with you don’t know what to do.
All I could think was to point out the obvious
I tried to play if off smooth and I kissed you right after saying how about this. We laughed after. But truly and honestly I can’t seem to find the words to describe your smile. Or the completeness I feel when looking in your eyes shows me understanding that I’ve never imagined. You don’t know the darkest side of me but I doubt it could effect they way you look at me. That way you look at me. Love that look is breathtaking my heart drops to my feet when you look at me like that. It’s not just the way you see me. I’ve never had someone that is as honest as you and can actually speak to me. The me that I don’t let others see is held in your hands. I should be transparent to a person like you, but you look into me not past and I think that’s beautiful because when our eyes me I can’t help but smile. I’m cheesy I know. I used to always think that being cheesy was so lame. But it has a beautiful truth behind the gestures. I’m gonna open the door for you. It’s lame I know but you come before anything with me because my heart says that it belongs to you. So to you my heart I will always follow. You asked me to write a letter to you instead of giving you something. I ended up getting you a hoodie so that when I’m not there I can still hug you. I could write a thousand letters but they’d never contain the right words. When we’re together this world falls away and the one thing I can focus on is you, my world. I don’t know why but every time we get together I can’t help but fall deeper in love with you. I can’t stop thinking about you even though I know I’m gonna see you tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes fast enough. And time never moves slow enough when we’re together.

yes I’m broken
As are you
But my broken is the type of infection that doctors look at and simply say I don’t know
My broken is not able to be fixed
I’m fine to be broken
Broken mirrors have a simplistic beauty to them
As you are my mirror and I am your broken
Trying to fix myself so I don’t take away from your reflection
We are all broken
We are waiting to be told that are cracks are beautiful
And if no one will tell you that your cracks are beautiful
Then tell yourself
Because in this world you must take your broken side and exclaim that it’s your best side
A mirror can’t fix its cracks
And you the knights will never put humor back
So give up on your cracks and accept that art is held in extravagant messes
We are all broken
We are all art
We are all never going to be fixed
Because when you try to fix glass it cracks more
Just ask me
I’m in shards
In shards I lay laughing at the fact that when I was little my family called shards ****-farts
So just thinking that I’m in shards and so broken I can’t get fixed brings some happy memories back
Their happy until I realized one time in the first  grade I sharded and had to run to the office for new pants and on the way their I saw my crush
She questioned the smell and I darted for the office
Ironically the next day we started dating
She was my first crush
I say crush cause she left the first crack when she called me out in front of the class “you’re stupid you can’t speak or spell”
You see I had a speech impediment and was ruled out as stupid
Our cracks can run deep
But or words can always run deeper

I want to stay quiet
But before I can my mouth lest lose
All the thing I don’t want to tell you comes lose
It hurts cause it’s the truth
When they scream at me no one loves you and when I scream back you have no one to love
It’s like sending a war dove
It has beauty in its speed but pain in its message
The love that we all crave
only grows with age
We all want to turn a page
But we can’t because of the festering rage
That we all hold in our hearts to our hands
Swelling  the fingers from turning over a new leaf
Out of rage do we take our daggers from their sheath
To shrike in the worst of ways
And we each turn the blades to our hearts
We hold dear our faults
To our hearts that we both see each other’s fauls
You could expose mine and I yours
So we say nothing
And just stare at the past scars
Of getting to close to each other’s stars.

Sleep is my way of turning the noise off
The constant ringing in my ear getting louder and louder
Until I sleep
I sleep with the passion to never stop sleeping
I don’t want to wake up
Yet if I don’t I doubt that anyone will lose sleep
When I wake the noise of my thoughts scream into the  war that never ends between the “what if’s” and inevitable “when’s”
So when I sleep and don’t want up know it was my hope no one would lose sleep
Sleep is when the noise stops
But for the life of me I can’t remember when the
Noise began
Maybe in a dream

As a kid I never wanted to be anything
Instead of doing anything of importance I questioned everything
Everything as in, why was the grass green?
What are clouds made of?
Who named the colors?
Why is blue a flavor and a color?
They where all pretty silly and had no meaning
Until I asked a question no one knows an answer to
What happens when we die?
At some point we have all asked this question to ourselves or others  
Knowing that no one knew the answer lead me to a notion of thinking in the fifth grade
If we don’t know what happens when we die is life pointless and we are all just waiting to die?  I asked this question my best friend at a sleepover
In response he said dude you’re overthinking because of all of the Mountain Dew
I shook this question off and walked life still questioning things
If god is real then why is there no prof?
What do you mean have faith there no way that there is a mystical man in the sky looking out for me!
Except when I questioned I started to argue back
This did not go well in school for me
I wanted to have a reason for everything
I was like a toddler that never grew out of the why phase
I continued life knowing I wanted to leave a mark in some way shape or form
As I grew older and matured I realized not everyone can leave a mark and it’s doubtful that I will ever even do any good
So I’m here now still a kid writing something down in hopes one day that my life will leave a mark
A legacy so that one day a kid will ask
Why did they die ?
In response someone will say
He questioned what happens when you die and one day he finally found out.

We all fall
But the question is whether we we fly
Like a baby bird first jumping from a tree
There is always a possibility we won’t fly
And yet some sore
They sore as people like me fall
People like me fall the same way as others fly
We flap our wings and smile
Cause we were all told smiling is uplifting
And yet people like me fall
Fall behind everything else
And just before we hit the ground
We feel like we can fly
But hit the ground anyway
And the crash of the fall is enough
Enough to make people who sore
Fly a little lower to the ground
If not only for a little while
Just as we were only in the air
Only for a little while
How how
Uplifting
Uplifting in the way that falling makes others
Look like they’re rising
And I’m falling
So that maybe someone can rise .

When the sky falls in what will you do
Will you run
Dashing to the finish line of panic and fear
Or will you sit back and laugh
Laugh at the way we struggled in our daily lives
Never stopping to think
When the world ends who is left to clean up
Or when my world ends what else goes with me
When the sky falls what will we do
I wanna be sky diving
So it looks as if the sky couldn’t let go of me
Because letting go is said to be the hardest thing
Many disagree because holding on needs strength
Yet letting go needs the strength to not hold on when you have the power to never let go
And they scream let go
And you eco back
okay Good bye




And you let go
Only to watch them fall
As the sun did our sky.

Life sends arrows your way. Half of the time they don’t break skin, but when break past the skin they wedge deep. They don’t come out , so they stick around and every now and then the pain urges through you. So many arrows sink deep until you look like a pin quill, full of holes that run deep and can’t be filled. One day someone pure with no holes no arrows comes along, they start to fill your holes and tend your wonds. Until the day comes she sends the biggest arrow your way it rips and tears you apart and sends you flying. For an instant you could fly, then you fall and when we fall we hit hard so hard life ends. The arrows don’t stop when you life ends they keep coming but skin thickins and harddends until you can’t feel. It’s ok to not feel then the arrows don’t get through
Nothing gets through .

During the night I can’t stop my self from asking the questions that haunt me
I have stayed up countless night not able to sleep be cause of my fear of having to much to fear
For example if there 7.2 million people on this planet that I’m so minuscule that I’m nothing but a number
If there’s millions of atoms in a human body than to an atom I’m greater or equal to a world
And at the same time my number of atoms in my body compare nothing to that of a universe so my existence is meaning less
And yet I still ask why because I’m just stupid enough to understand that I don’t have a meaning if I ask what my meaning is like countless others
Countless because no one cares to count the number of meaningless thoughts we have
Yet alone the number of times I get so engulfed in my thoughts that I can’t sleep at night
For example you know that weird repetition of your name in your head what if that’s the past you saying that all those people needed you in the past and now them calling your name is their past way of haunting you..... no, no one else gets that
Well I guess I either have to be the only one who thinks this way or someone can relate
Which is another thing that keeps me up at night if there are 7.2 million people on the planet someone has the exact same thoughts and reactions to something as me which means there’s an identical me struggling to understand why
I from this rant or whatever my mind is let me ask why do you write or why do you bother to do anything at
To question your beliefs and philosophy’s is to write poetry so will anyone else ask why with me?

I wake up and put on a mask to pretend
I walk around with a fake smile
I say what you want to hear
I try to act like I really care
I am pulling at heart strings that aren’t there
I try to seem complicated
I really am simple
I don’t care
I don’t want to care
I want to sleep
I want to do nothing
I won’t stop talking about myself
I don’t care about myself I care about you but somehow some way you make me care
I don’t want to
So tell me about
You
Yes you no more I’s
Only you say what you think
Tell me about your mask
I don’t want to care about me
Let me care about you

Being sick brings a new meaning to doing well
I’m sick of being sick of everything
The way I live
The circle that I walk in day in and day out
I’m sick and though I’m coughing and scratching at my throat knowing it will only get worst
It doesn’t matter
I could be on my deathbed and still want to write
Even if I’m not heard it will change the sickness of going nowhere into taking one step forwards
Yet repetitively I will always take two steps back
My steps are to the breaths I take
in and out
A waltz going in back and forth with no one to hold me
No one to be my one
The one that has the cure to my sickness
So when my thought spew out of this sick brain of mine, my words won’t scratch because of my cure
You are my one
My cure
It’s a tragedy within a tragedy that my cure was crushed under the boot of society
Broken from the nothingness of keeping you thoughts to yourself .
The fact is in a world with 7,632,819,325 people it’s next to impossible to find your one
Most likely they too were crushed
Crushed by the sickness that is our world and we are all desperate to find a cure
Some opted out
Others try to gain everything but in doing so they lose everything
Others focus on after death
A god can’t stop you from dying we are all gonna die one day
This is the cure
**** trying to out live death
If you hope so much for a heaven then make this life heaven
A heaven so grand that if heaven is real than it can only pray to be as good as life
Eternal life sounds like a pain in the ***
If I get a choice I think I’ll opt out
Short and sweet is a saying for a reason
I guess Forgot that while writing
My thought don’t stop so nether do my poems they are not short and sweet in my head
They continue on never stoping for breaks they are only silenced by the next thought which flows so loud that I can’t do anything but write for hours on end and then as if a tsunami I wipe out the city I built from endless poems.
It will never

Some say they are stuck in a rut
They know one day they will be free
Free of the same old still old days on repeat
But a rut can be wedged out of
Mr rut is a never ending pit
And I during a leap of faith triped and now I just keep falling
Until I let myself think I hit the bottom
Which is an ocean of despair
Yet from that despair comes these instructions
When you thing you hit bottom don’t swim down down is the direction that you can always go
Try to climb
Watch it though the rocks on the walls of this pit are slippery
When you almost reach the top you will slip
So this is my directions
Go up
However the higher you go the greater you can fall
The greater you fall is the key to taking that leap of faith
Step one: a leap of faith is ******* no other way to put it if you have to leap so should they meet me halfway
Step two: if a leap of faith is over a pit but you need to jump take a second look that pit is your trampoline if you fall
Step three: life gives you a void to fall in write a way out
Last but not least my way out is to stop looking into the void instead look into the fact while you may be falling forever you feel as though you are flying
Extra step only If needed : try reaching for a rope to pull you out of the depths someone can pull you up from the depths it only takes the strength to take a leap of faith.

I turned around broken and ****** up
You gave me a boulder to cry on
Another place to vent this mind that goes on for miles long
You got broken and ****** with
I waited with open arms and a soft shoulder to land on
I wanted to be able to be there
I hope I was there for you as you where there for me
Like and air bag I braced for your impact
To catch you was all I wanted to do
You’re what I want to wake up to even a text from you makes me giddy
And you keep saying I don’t wanna hurt you when if I get hurt from you it’ll be the best decision I’ve made in forever
It seems like forever ago when you where trying to get me back with my ex
I wanted so badly for you to text me that day saiying “I’m single your single”
I’m really the cheesy one though
I really don’t see how you would ever like a guy like me
I’m like a 3 compared to you a 9
I say 9 because you’re my favorite number
I don’t want to be another heart break
But If that’s what it takes to be with you break my heart till it’s black and blue
All long as I get to see you
Thou art the wings to a bird I’m of no use with out thou company by thy side.
That’s an inside joke that only you will get
If you say no I think I’ve dug myself a large enough pit.
Good night to the light that is you
I mean this with all my might.
Wow I’m cheesy
And to the girl reading this I’m cheesy and I couldn’t count how many times you brightened my day so thanks

I used to watch you get ******
****** meaning high as a kite
But I can’t help but think of the old term
You have been ****** shamed so much so that you have forever been damaged
So you get ******
For trying to throw a rock so hard into a brick wall that you thought you’d leave a hole
You thought wrong
Instead the rock shattered and barely left a scratch
So you being you tried again and again
Leaving only a scattering of scratches
Your aim is always off
Stupid kid you’ll never get through that brick wall
Instead you’ll get ****** for throwing stones
By all the other kids who never had a wall blocking them
But you my friend
Finally broke through and in doing so you locked the door behind you
And left me your “rock “ behind
It’s fine
I’ll just get ******

To write something deep and meaningful
Is to believe that something to be true
True to your hearts of hearts
That everything can be summed up into a
single phrase
Everything that meant something or means something to you or whoever you may have been
You’re not a lone in wanting to say something
without saying out loud
So write something meaningful and grand
Within the true heart hidden by a mask
a mask with a crooked smile andfake laugh

Within every heart there is a mask
Within every heart a passion
Every passion has something to say
But there’s no way to escape a mask
without saying something meaningful
So write something meaningful to say
Like if everyone could see how small they really where no one would every try to say anything again nothing would be said or made because of the sheer truth in the terro of being insignificant is enough to stop the whole world from saying something
The world would have peace and quiet from the terror of never being heard.
Ironic that never being hear forced you to be quiet.

Many say the same phrase “ the key to life is...”
if there is a key
Then what is locked away in life
What holds our life back
But at one point we all want a key
A key to open the locked away happy life
The peaceful life
That we so selfishly took away from our selfs long ago we all have a moment
Where we can trace back the mistakes
We can see when everything went to ****
It’s offen our first memory.
Why our first
Why not our last
And for the sake of finding the key
I feel our first memory was our last
Our last memory of not having to remember
Just play
Now it’s all fight
With no where to run
Just a gate blocking the way out
The lock reads
“ life”
Can anyone find the right key?

You were faceless
no scars
no features what so ever
But your eyes
dark as the dead of night
I looked into to them
mirros into mirrors
reflecting the reflections of myself into you
into myself
You echoed
to me and me to you
You are me and I am you
my face is yours and your eyes my eyes
my mask you hide behind so that your face remains faceless
as my face reflects yours
We are totally faceless
and We have eyes dark as the dead of night.

We all have secrets
Our insecurities that we feel we must hide
Some hide behind mask of jokes and smiles
Or a pretty face
However many hide behind a screen this screen that we hide behind to where I don’t know your name and you don’t know mine
We refuse to let our lives show the real emotions we all feel at some point because it’s so much easier behind a screen
I’m no exception I wish I could say what I think without second thoughts of what if’s
I hide behind a fake smile and laugh cracking jokes that I use as a defense to ovoid feeling
But behind a screen where I don’t know you and you don’t know me it’s so much easier to say what I think and to think about what I say
I have no face on the internet no meaning yet I feel as words can carry my meaning from my fake laugh and jokes into the real me that can shown all the insecurities
Form me to you my screen

At an early age we are told to wait
Be patient
I was never good at waiting
Always wanting life to hit me fast
Younger me wanted to be grown
Half grown me wished to be young
Fully grown me is going to look back and say boy was I dumb

It is okay to go
You won’t leave us
We won’t let you rust
From the gust of rain that pours down
You’ll stain the ground
It is okay to go
We all go
We don’t no where
But after all the ware and tare
You still leave me with a tear
We are meant to be left with a stair
As we leave
I hope you breathed the fresh air
One last time I wish you could chew me out for being stupid
One last time I wish I could tell you everything would be alright
One last time
I was only able to tell you that it was okay to go
That was my last time
This night was long ago
But still fresh
I could never give it a rest
Could I always see you in such detail
Or remember the moments when you gave advice like yoda
I guess what you gave was everything
And I gave you nothing but a goodbye
And I hope that you were right because I want to give you a hello again
But until then your final words will ring
And the sound of tin roofs will ting
The one that we would fall asleep to over again
It’s okay that you went
I’m glad you finally found out what happened next
Next time don’t leave me behind
I don’t mind
I just want there to be a next time
We’ll be just fine
Till next time
Goodbye




We never saw eye to eye until I had to say goodbye

Shut up
Keep your mouth shut
Better to be thought a fool than proven one
Well I’m a fool
I say what I  think
Not always in a good way
But most of the time my thoughts can make leaps and bounds taller than sky scrapers
And yet the always told me stay quiet
So I never say much of anything
Except for when I sleep
Sleep is the uncontrollable speech that rings in my head
Over and over
Day in day out
I talk in my sleep
so when I wake up I don’t have anything to say
I want to go to sleep
So that I can stay quiet
But sometimes I need to be heard
So hear me
when I say
Shut up if you’re gonna be a fool.

A
Inspiration is found a thousand times over every day
And yet still there are those who struggle to find inspiration to get up in the morning
We have the power to find inspiration
And the responsibility to inspire
Which makes a heart heavy with despair
Making the holder of a heart not be able to find the way out of bed
Hearts are lost in the maze of anxiety and depression
And those who make it out of the maze must inspire those still in bed.

Get up
Get dressed
Go to war.
Go to war
With the rage of a thousand men
But with only the power of
One
Yet we still fight
Because rage isn’t silent
Until you go to sleep
Get up
Go to war

Help
Someone
I’m hanging on by a thread
What should I do when only a single stitch keeps me together
If I let go I’ll die
Well I guess no matter what something will come undone
What’s it matter I’ll let go
And so I sore
Not towards the ground
But up
Piercing the atmosphere
Over and out of this world
Through a void that shows no signs of life
Not much different than earth
Just as cold
Just as empty
And I’m just as isolated
I found a thread
Should I hang on or let go I could go back
I could stay in the same place
No difference except the noise
Can’t stand the quiet
To much time to think
I’ll hang on to the thread
Until someone cuts me lose
Help someone
I’m stuck by a thread
Cut me free
It’s so cold.