Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
 Jun 2015 Bipolaroid Gingerlust
g
When you are sitting with
beautiful people, and
you still feel sad,
does that say a thing about you?

Well, if you're asking me,
I don't want to be nervous anymore.

Maybe I can't tell my friends
that I'm happy because
last week I found myself covered in mud
and still didn't feel as *****
as the days I found myself
still trying to wash
your fingerprints off.
I like you very much,
but I hate acting like it.
I hold back and act aloof
I’m terrified of falling for you
I’m afraid of showing I care about you
I’m afraid you won’t care as much.
It feels like stupidity to admit I want to be with you without knowing how you feel

I like ***, but I also love just sleeping with you wrapped around me.
I sleep better with someone in my bed.
I think you’re gorgeous when you’re fast asleep.
I talk in my sleep, but you do too.

I’m impulsive, but I overthink things.
I’m sensible about most things.
I feel like I’m not being sensible about you.
You don’t know what you want with me
and somehow this is okay.

Seems like yesterday I was 17.
I was a different girl in every way.
I know who I am now and what I’m worth
I think you’ve known from the start.
I'm resting my head
On your chest
My hand on your shoulder
Your arm around me
Playing with my hair
Gently stroking it
Helping me fall asleep
Your other hand
Holding onto my arm
gently moving your thumb
Up and down
Your chin on my head
I can hear your heart beat
Your arms tightly round me
Holding me
Making me feel safe and happy
Genuinely happy
Even though it was the worst sleep
I've ever had
Because of the little space we had in the tent
It was one of the best sleeps
Just because you were there
You move and your cheek is pressed against mine
I can feel your breathe on my neck
You moved your hand into my sleeping bag
And pull my top
And gently rub my back
Because I'm almost in tears
With how sore my stomach is
I giggle quietly cause it tickles on my side
It starts to get cold
So I move closer to your chest and you hold me tighter
You're dreaming
A nightmare possibly
Sounds like your crying
My arm isn't on you anymore
You make a weird noise
And I pull you closer to me
And you seem to feel better
It's cute really
You felt better with my arm around you
Just like I did
Continue stroking my hair
As I fall gently asleep on your chest
Feeling the steady rhythm
Of your heart
And hearing your heavy breathing pattern
And you light airplane sounding snore
From you being sick
Slowly falling asleep
In each other's arms
Happy
And safe
You could convince me to **** myself
You don't care because it'll silence the voices
You can bring me to tears at pulse of a heartbeat
Like right now
You will force me to smile in the most grim situations
You tell me it's all gonna be okay
Then go and say I am a horrible creature
You are my best friend and my worst enemy
I hate you almost as much as I need you
You do this to yourself
You do this to me
You are my own brain
The conductor of emotions and controller of my every move
Wind up that music box
Listen to it ****** away
Pass me a mink blanket
And all night I will stay
Play with my hair
What little I have of it
You don't need to do much
Just hold me, come, sit
Pass me a pen and paper
You know the deal
Listen to the music box
It teaches me to feel
Kiss my forehead soft
And stroke my arm slow
For these are the comforters
That help me when I'm **low
You
There's so much I could say I don't know where to start. I like how much you care for me and I don't know why you care for me so much or how  deserve you but I can't even begin to tell you how grateful I am. I like how protective you are of me you always have my back ALWAYS even when you can't be there you're still there for me through messaging me. I like how you message me good morning just to check on me and see how I was and if everything was alright. I like how you messaged me every time I go on road trips and tell me to stay safe everyday and message me when I'm travelling there and home and make sure I get home safely every time we walk somewhere at night. I like how you made me keep that promise to keep me safe at night. I love how we tell each other stuff and how I can trust you with anything and I can tell you anything. I like how we fight about the silliest things they aren't even real arguments just us joking around pretending to be mad at each other when we're not and one of us sneaks a look at the other and smiles and the other person catches us and we know we can never be angry at each other. I love how we share the same morals and i don't really know what to say there's too many things I like about you. I like the way you hug me slowly and tightly and you don't let go for ages long enough for me to feel your warmth and appreciate the moment and even long enough for a small conversation in each others ear. I like the way you say goodnight to me it helps me sleep with ease of knowing I still have you.  The truth is I'm scared of losing you so scared I've never been so scared of losing someone in my life. I need you in my life I can't lose you not now not ever please never leave. I'll miss your touch, your icy fingertips touching my knee comforting me making sure I'm alright, I'll miss being able to sleep on your shoulder feeling your warmth on my cheek and you softly talking to me so no one else can **** in our conversation, I'll miss the way we put our arms around each other and walk together to protect each other, the way you whisper in my ear and scare the **** out of me to point out some imaginary thing in the bush when it's dark just to scare me so I get scared and bump into you so you can laugh and put your arm around my shoulders and we'll laugh together, I'll miss the way you sit closer to me when it's cold and offer your jacket to me, I'll miss your quiet comments in my ear when we're watching plays together, I'll miss our stupid little conversations when we're mad at each other but still want to talk but we're not really mad at each other just pretending to because you know I can't stay mad at you if you flash your big cheesy smile at me and you know it gets me every time, I'll miss the way you look deeply into my eyes when your looking at me and talking to me so please never leave or a part of me will leave with you
I like to watch you eat
While I grab my crotch and beat
To the thought of your feet
Bound to the seat
I lie awake at night
And watch you get a fright
When I slip my **** in dry
It's the most satisfying sight
You're lovely in the shower
When I turn off all the power
And ******* for an hour
Like the toughest little flower
You say you want to leave
And be some kind of free
That it's not okay for me
To treat you like a sheep
I slam close the door
And treat you like a *****
It's time to even the score
As you fall down on the floor
Honey you know I said
"You're the one for me, don't dread
The life we would've spent,
But you're safer if your dead"
Her skin was cold and blue
Like the things I felt for you
That left me so unglued
It's funny what love will do
Next page