I can't fix your hope
if its shattared or broke
Can't change where you've been,
where you're at
or where your going.
If you decide to be taken
by ocean or pavement
needles in the basement
or another definitive arrangement
I can't stop you,
though I hope you'll pull through
perceive a different view
find a strength within you.
Life's got more to give
but you've gotta
build your own  bridges
to reach where it is.
I can't do this for you,
but I'll be here if you need me too
even if it's just to shoot the breeze or to lean on

It sneaks on me like a nightmare
Pulls me out of my daydreams
Pulls me out of my life

You ask me why my hands are always shaky
I say it’s because my nightstand is full of pills to remind me I exist

It steals away my smile
And mostly, my sanity
It pulls me into the darkness
Eats away my soul till there’s nothing left

You ask me why am I always sleeping
It eats up my power and drains my energy to leave me with nothing but tiredness and despair

I can’t do it; sometimes I want to give up
Maybe I was born to be this way
Born to be dying

People glamorize sadness
Sadness makes beauty in art
Not in people

I wear my insanity on me like a crown
But my sadness invited other objects to seep into my skin to make depression a part of who I am

My father, my mother,
They’re always on their toes
It seems like no matter what I’d do
Someone is bond to be hurt

My dead soul roams the world of the living
Wondering how am I ever going to fit in

You see how depression makes beauty?
My poetry is a manifest of my tears,
My health is fading away because of how many pills I take everyday
But it’s okay, because I write poetry as beautiful as a sunset on reflective ocean
Birds humming softly

You see what I mean?

My love, how could you ask me why I want to leave.
Why did you?
Might as well pulled out a dagger and stabbed me straight in the heart
Because the words “I don’t love you anymore” hurt more than a rope around my neck

I would still love him, with my blood splattered on his stunning face
I would still love him with every drop
And every pain I ever felt
I would still love him with my lifeless body on the floor
I will always love him and that is what’s killing me the most

Do you understand me?
This is what depression does to you
I’m so attached to pain
To love
To people
To death
I’m so attached to everything that’s killing me and I just want it to stop
I want everything to stop

I think I loved him too much
Said too many “I love you’s”
Gave too much love
Too much of everything

You see?
I can’t control it
My illness, my curse
My mind, my bliss
I can’t control what leaves my mouth
Because my heart is on my sleeve
On my cheeks
And my mind, is in the stars
With the he used to smile when he says he loves me
How can I reach for the galaxies in his eyes? How can I reach my absent mind?

But wait
For I do not regret my decision
Love is not everything
It can lift you higher than the sky
And lowers you to the pits of the earth

He put a rope around my neck and I’m an answering machine that doesn’t ring so I can never say no
I’m so confused, I’m so confused
I love him but my love was not enough
And his love, wasn’t enough for me either
We’re an on and off switch
On and off and on and off
I can’t remember the last time he looked at me in the eyes when he said I love you
The light is finally burnt

I am not yours, I am not yours
For I am a bird
And to be truthful
I long to fly home
To the stars, to the sky
To everything far far away

Four limbs
Branching from a peach tree
My skin is a shield
My fat is fuel
A vessel for my weary soul
I will let it carry me

I give her the blueprints to
My Death Star, and reaching
The core of my love is as easy
As bulls-eying womp rats in
Her T-16 back home; not much
More than two metres
From my heart.

Her eyes are the exact shade of
Force that an Ilum Crystal
Powering a light sabre
Emits when ignited,
And her hands can choke a
Weak man from a hundred
Imperial Standard Yards

Away. She's Leia to my Solo,
And the Vader tattoo on the
Back of her leg
Stares at me when she tip-toes
Past me, shower fresh and
Towel-less, inviting me over
To the Dark Side

Of sci-fi, *** and rock'n roll,
And I know from the
Bottom of my everything of
Everythings that she is
Indeed the *******
Droid I've been
Looking for.

I am but willing prey to the wiles of the full grown moon.
She guards the night sky...
While I patrol these grounds...
Grieving over the seconds that have gone too soon.

I am a vessel... all emptied and barren.
what once was full,
now echoes faint
the glories of yesteryears.
Afloat still, adrift upon the currents... aimless and sullen.

I am a ghost... haunting no one but my own.
Immortalised...
Anchored...
to a body of mist and haze...
Occupying this space where worthy wind had once blown...

I am a beggar offering nothing but my open palms.
Hope etched tight
into my knackered knuckles
and calloused digits.
Please... take them in yours...
soothe them...
grant me your touch, your coveted balm.

I'm tired....
I'm tired of going through the same thing
...the same pain
You chose **** over me
Don't you know that hurts
That feeling of feeling like
you're not good enough
Forever remains
Theres no changing that feeling
.......