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  Jun 2022 Ayman Zain
You don’t hear my mind screaming
But this is the place,
Where my pen sits calmly
Waiting for me every moonrise

You don’t see my blue veins
But this is the place,
Where they empty themselves
To refill them in the morning

This is the moment when I pour down the ink-
Mix it with my sorrow,
And stain all the papers with my blood
This is as wonderful and painful as it gets,

But you don’t hear my scars giggling
Pretending they’re tough
Or my silver shivering
Whispering to me stuff

I'm here when you need me
I'm all yours
Come hold my blue skin am aching
But you don’t hear my bones begging for more

The way I wanted you to
You don’t see my eyes bleeding
The way I wanted you to
You don’t see the big picture,

The way I drew it for you
This is the place
Where my pen overdoses on my thoughts
Here,I see through everything, I never get cold

You will never see me hiding
Silver Liquor, Plastic Swan
  Feb 2018 Ayman Zain
grumpy thumb
I can't fix your hope
if its shattared or broke
Can't change where you've been,
where you're at
or where your going.
If you decide to be taken
by ocean or pavement
needles in the basement
or another definitive arrangement
I can't stop you,
though I hope you'll pull through
perceive a different view
find a strength within you.
Life's got more to give
but you've gotta
build your own  bridges
to reach where it is.
I can't do this for you,
but I'll be here if you need me too
even if it's just to shoot the breeze or to lean on
Ayman Zain Feb 2018
People always ask us to tell them the story of how we met

I always start by saying “I hit her from behind..”
Which I did.. by my car. And that’s exactly how we first got introduced.

But not to your imagination, NO we didn’t fall in love at that moment or whatever you’ve seen happen in the latest romantic drama movie.

This was far far from it. She started shouting at me


I didn’t really pay attention to what she said to be honest.

I was staring at her, getting lost in her lips, her eyes, her amazing **** and her amazing aroma of different fragrances

My mind was in space and the blood was rushing downhill

After I woke up from my coma.. I told her I’m sorry and that I’ll pay for the damage

*But in truth that damage was sooo worth it
Ayman Zain Feb 2018
If it's the last day in the world
Will you remember me?
Will you stop by and say hi..
Or will you only think about yourself and what will be of you after you're dead?
Just a question.
She asks as if she doubts my love to her
She always asks the weirdest questions
Like once she asked me if I prefer being single or in a relationship.
Me being the insecure person in our relationship answered her with a question of my own
"Are you breaking up with me, Jenny?"
She laughed and stared at me as she said
"Of course not dummy, I prefer being in relationship with you"
I love her tricky questions, as if she challenges my love for hers.
  Sep 2017 Ayman Zain
Her pillow covering all of my face

Tears suffocating me
Won’t let me breathe
Her pillow covering all of my face
The more she tries to pull me out the more I sink into a worse place
How everything started to get so morose in some robust planet in space
Where I always took my time to enjoy my one and only grace
Her pillow covering all of my face
Inhaling her tears from last night’s race
Enjoy the silence of our heartbeats

Will it get better by any chance?
Or any change?
Will we be able to embrace?
Her pillow covering all of my face

Watch her shut down my full-of-blood face in one glance
The sacred geometry of chance
Watch her draw in silver then lick her sorrow as it turns red
When my veins eventually got the chance to meet their soul mates
When I got the chance to finally appreciate
Appreciate; the ray that is running towards me screaming love when we both know it’s full of hate

Her pillow covering all of my face

Never thought she’d be hiding from me the key to my fancy world’s gate
Inhaling her tears
And I’ve always enjoyed shutting her mouth
Anticipating her suffocating innocent screams
Then with one glance she was able to read my mind
She knew it
Knew well
That If I died today
Lots of aliens would be at my funeral
And she’d tell them about the joyful memories she shared with me

You know what *****?
Read it all over again
Read it all over again with some serenity
Read it with some dignity

Sweaty rusty bed sheets covering her chopped body
Fifty stitches all over her skin
But her wide bright eyes will fix the whole picture and make it full of mildness and flaccidity


Then her screams again teasing my ears starting up the electricity
Running through my veins getting me thirsty craving for more intensity
And if I could
I’d replace my ink with her blood
Because I needed my papers to bloom
Turn it into a meadow on the shape of her eyes
All of a sudden
Woke up with nothing to look at other than the bathroom tiles

Nausea, revulsion, disgust and repugnance

Nothing to shorten the distance
Until my eyes started screaming for more of my addictive substance
One shot
Got me into watching a huge fight between romance and brilliance
Smudge my face with her blood and tears
While all what were flashing before my eyes are the past four years
Cutting my head open anticipating the brainwash
Until something got me to calm down and bear
A cup of our old cold drink
Pouring it inside her lungs to drink it happily
Then after I was done she smiled then spoke through my mind
That gave me a new brain and a new key that I should’ve tried
Went fine until I found the huge gate with no lock in it
The bus stop that I wouldn’t want to leave
My tears won’t
How will I make it when I can get it all in one night
Even if I could hold it in for one month?
I’d blast myself to keep my veins full of that drug
To keep my life full of that love
To save me from her devil
A maniac if you looked at it from a different aspect

A sick puppy stabbed in the face with a flower*

A sign of loneliness strikes again
But I forgot my shoes at the mountain while rethinking my future
Dreams versus nightmares
And the winner was her
Orange and grey, all I can remember
A beautiful abounded house
I’d lick her fear within a second
Eat her up then ***** all of my internal organs
Building a wonderful cycle of admired calmness
White dress
Warm cheeks
Feeding the sad freak
Hiding in the very first place that people will find love at
Everlasting one
The arbitrator behind all my happiness
Dances for a while and then disappears again
Light and awareness
She’s the aliveness and energy controlling every apparent motion inside me and all motion in my mind’s motion and all mind is her mind
And all my thoughts and actions are licensed by her
Empowered out of me and returned to her
She’s the correct consciousness of my mind
Everything I see
Do or know is enabled out of me
It is my mind and my being in use
To end up falling from the furthest planet into the lowest ground
To end up where I can never be found
With her pillow covering all of my face
Curing my crippled soul
Ayman Zain Jul 2017
She strikes into the hollow night;
Passing by the gloomy street lights
With a touch of eloquent cold breeze;
She tingles, shivers and ceases to speak
Her hair follows like a flying flag
Her rosy cheeks turn into jasmine
Her sesame eyes have become fastened
Her feet so cold they've become numb
Lonely and forlone she has no chum;
She gazes at the spots in the sky
Through her glasses she gazes-
Upon the mountain hill high


The chains she keeps on fighting;
To wash it off her brain
She rises up towards the hill,
Until she realizes the reflections that she built
Falling down back into madness;
With her blood dripping with sin,
And the rain mocking her mind from within
She drops down on her face;
With the glittering chandelier lights
Washing down her iconic skin,
Leaving every thought in her mind misplaced,
Until the moon rises,
With the stars interlaced.
Leaving her with nothing;
Other than a gun and a pillow
To get that smile back upon her face.
Your flushed down the drain
Your heart is in pain
Is it right to end it
Can I live with hurting the one I always thought she was mine
Losing my mind and becoming insane
Is this the way the go
The heart is wounded so deep that it can't be mended
Blood pooring from my veins and it's getting hard to breath
I am drowning in the deep sea and can't Seem to reach the surface.
Depression has taken over me and there is no fighting it now .
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