Stop.
Right.
There.
If I’m getting involved,
Give me a reason to care.

I can help with matters
Pertaining to your mind,
But I am not so kind
All of the time.

As the somniferous air sets in
Like an ocean of sea glass;
The flowing tide echoing through my mind.

A dream of newfound waters
Surfacing like a long lost memory,
Calling forth from the autumn breeze.

Like gemstones in the rain,
I’m free to bleed out the colors.
The desire to leave an empty shell
Overpowered by a desire for vitality.

Don’t go
You’re leaving me
To the endless flow.
You preach destruction,
But the sands of time still stand,
a subtly worse construction.

Like a solitary tree in a silent plain
Awaiting the blight; the everlasting rain.
Life has come and gone;
The span of a second
With the grace of a swan
Like a shrouded mosaic
The mist reveals piece by piece;
A picture is formed
Of a concrete world,
Built on the fragile sands of time.

Crawling through the wastes,
I wish for the flame.
To fly above the rest
To have nothing but a name.
My hope and interest
have kept this dream alive
And allow me to thrive
Even in these darkest moments.

The morning dawn
Begins to light a darkened sky,
Painting colors onto the black.
Like a how printing press makes stories,
The sky paints it’s morning glories.
A child watches this transformation
As it whisks away his trepidation.
A warm sunny light
Shines through these
Once gnarled trees,
And the child finds it
A fine replacement
To the icy blue moonlight
That pervaded the night.
Standing up after a long night,
The boy gingerly steps off the roof
And through his ajar window.
Within seconds of touching his bed,
He’s entrapped, from toe to head.
Slumber takes its firm hold
As punishment for the stunt he pulled.

The fruit is to the earth
As is the fruit to the forbidden
I came alive from the tree,
The grace was but to flee.
The truly unforgivable one

Is me.

I became what I ate
And I am now forbidden
And forsaken.

Imperfection is everything.
Nothing is immaculate,
nothing is fail-safe,
some fool is always dumber
than you are smart,
so nothing is fool-proof.

In some cases,
you are finding the drop of mud
on the silvery crystalline ocean.
That is good enough,
don't hurt yourself
by yearning for more.

Dec.29.2019

Up and down and up again,
my stable position changes at the drop of a pen.
I have not an idea of where I am going,
and I am quickly forgetting where I've been.
My bike keeps ruggedly flowing
over stumps and bumps
and branches and roots.

Up hills far to steep to ride,
down some that could make me scream,
sacrificing my little pride.

reaching escape velocity,
I shoot out of my comfort zone,
like a shuttle breaks into orbit,
I am the opposite of smooth...

Bumping over rocks and branches,
fast enough to immobilize me.
But I ride, petrified but not rigid,
over these rugged trails.

My knuckles wrap around my handlebars,
turning a ghoulish pearly white,
but it was a hidden by my ebony gloves.

I might as well be twisted,
but I wholly believe
that the fun part
was my stone cold fear.

I’m on fire.
It burns.
Hotter than magma,
Colder than dry ice.

The flames
Blue in nature,
Spread from my arms
To my torso.
My body is further
enveloped
In the liberating burn

Transcending all realms
Of known human sense,
I burn further and further
On.
As the fire spreads,
Farther and farther
Around
my blistering body.

My brain is finally hit
With the blue burning bliss.
A brilliant sight is seen,
A brilliant pain is felt.
I am fully enveloped,
And my room is now alight.

When I once again
come around to sanity,
I will notice my wrists,
Leaking my blue flame.

But it’s really just red water,
Giving me a release from the pain.

Robbed of my money,
Robbed of my well being,
Robbed of my hatred towards pain,
Robbed of my sight; my moral compass.

They stole it all,
And left me with nothing.
Nothing but black and blue bruises,
As well as a few red cuts littered over my body.

I wanted it all back,
But how could I ever ask?
They are horrible people all around.
Unreasonable and unpredictable are the defining words.

As I moved on, with time,
I found none of it ever healed,
None of it. The may have cuts gone away...
Yet so does the wind, but we know that the air is still there.

And so are all these ******* memories,
That cloud over my friends like viscous tar.

Why couldn’t they have just left me alone?

I still don’t know,
but since then I have grown.
I am ready for these ***** to come once more.

A shimmering thunderclap
Shines across a million seas.
I stand landlocked,
Left to count the endless leaves.

The golem’s silent lament
Leaves the lightning to grieve.
The execution of silence
Set to be, without reprieve.

Silence calls for dusks final breath
As we say farewell to sight
And lay our bodies to rest.

Our minds, however,
Live nocturnal,
Like our souls—
Living, eternal.

Close your eyes
You’ll come here soon.
Run away from this dream,
Fall into our tune.

It’s all a dream to me,
This horrid melody.
I call when you can see;
Setting the lifeline free.

A system for the we
Of our diligent society.
But you cannot spell
This dangerous ism
Without the prefix
UNI
Or in the mouth
Of the common man:
MYSELF, I, ONE.

Hidden to all.
What was going on?
It’s anyone’s call.

Stone upon stone,
Laying down the bricks
For a worldwide collapse.

Tear at the membrane,
Nothing can stop you now.
Why limit yourself?
Nobody watches you
When it matters most,
So rise.

Walls are built to be broken,
So let your heart become molten;
The time has come to be awoken.

As the creeping doubt
Draws shadows of trees
Onto my mind’s canvas,
I silently look away,
Wishing the water’s reflection
Could distract me.

Rippling across the surface;
Distorting what I see.
The inkwell’s matte mirror
Changing what I’m to be.

When you gaze into
The darkness inside your soul,
It stares back in you.

I’ve written poem after poem about her,
But I’ve never written one about him.
Is it because that ended before I
Started to write poetry once more?

I have no idea,
For I loved him just as dear,
As I love her.

Even though we may just be friends now,
I feel that he is still, by league after dissipating league,
The coolest person I have ever, and will ever meet.

Through smoke, Smog,
And smoldering ashes,
I’ll see this to the end.

Iridescent falls,
An ocean of flying fish.
Behind the charred walls,
Lies life’s perfect dish.

The darkness holds me tightly,
Wrapping me within
Its—mine—our sin.

I see it shifting in the corner,
The forlorn spectral shade
Slipping through the thin fabric
Of my weak perception.

Embracing my body,
Living in my soul;
The shadow lies dormant,
With it I feel whole.

Place the bets
Run the cards
Jack of hearts?
No,
You’re just the joker.

Face card?
No,
It’s all a facade.

living freely,
Yet chained to the game,
Life’s got my soul; my flame.
I’ve long since lost my name.

A violent struggle for air,
Lasts like a star’s radiant flare.
As the void turns to ashes,
Breath resumes control;
A frozen silencer thawed dry.

What would you have thought?
I was fine all day to your knowledge.
All you heard was
“it’s been especially rough today.”

Would you have been shocked?
Sometimes i regret my choices.

Would it have been better for her if I didn’t turn around and step back in?
Would it have been better for you?

Daunting voices call my name;
Each breath full of manic mirth.

The sunlight falls
Like distant snowflakes,
Dusting a golden plain
With an auburn hue.

As the sky grows dark,
I see less and less,
But hear more and more.

A crescent guillotine hangs in the sky
As I absentmindedly envision
These fruitful moments to be my last.

The mirthful voices once more,
And engulf me in their mania.
My head hits the floor
While my consciousness washes away;
As if it were an eternal shore.

Slowly slipping as of late.
Im falling into a pit of hate,
My mind’s becoming irate.
I reluctantly anticipate
That I’m soon to suffocate,
Under the water that’ll inflate
And call an end to my fate.

Decompression overwhelms
Concrete mentalities,
Shattering them
Like false glass.

Heavy is the head
That dawns the crown;
An anchor of lead,
Pulling us down.

I’m the whisper
Among the piercing scream;
The subtle vertigo
Of an early morning dream.

I’m the darkest burning star;
Your wandering mind
When you’ve gone too far.

I’m the voice you could not hear;
The voice you should not fear.
Advice that most abhor,
Given with an air of valor.

Don’t follow my whispered suggestions,
All it becomes is bad recollections.

Silently bearing its teeth,
My emotions pounce onto me.
Nothing’s to happen,
But the morrow is unnerving.
My mind sprouts fantasies
Like the spring grows dandelions.
Soon the flowers change
And I’ll whisp away with the wind.
Soon the bees will come
And sting my body numb.

I am by no means omnipotent,
So the meta-thoughts I have
About the couples on this day
Are quite biased.

I have to wonder
What these people are thinking
When vigorously presenting their love
Without even a shred of conscience
Or shame.

If I’m lost,
Then my past guides me.
The shadows of myself
That drag behind, free.

Following me
Out of our own volition,
I hope I may soon see
The beacon that envelopes thee.

The darkness by my side
Will dissipate into the light,
And I’ll traverse the night
with its absence at my right.

A dulling gold plain
split into many pieces
by the high tide water.
The water flows steadily,
a rather small motion
that breaks the illusion
of stagnant salty ice.

the concrete bridge
stands like a gravestone;
marking the time of old,
and barely intact
to see the present hour.

The unfiltered sun
shines ever so brightly,
as if a golden amber blanket
is lain caringly upon
this dead winter marsh,

giving it light,
giving it life.

As ink is left to fall,
Another paper
Is left to stain.

As my veins
Decide the path
Of my blood,
The ink in my pen
Decides the stain
Upon this paper.

Shimmering silence
Blooms over the desolate horizon,
Beckoning my fragile soul.

As the sun begins to fade,
Letting the darkness inch closer,
I’m still standing still;
Lost...

However, now I’m worlds away
With nobody around.

I once had a phone...
it was an IPhone 6.
Worthless to many,
but to me,
nothing
could have bought
that bank of emotion.

To part with it was
to part with some of me.
I am in no way a phone addict,
it just was full of precious bytes,
these 64 billion bytes described me.

The vehement texts, sent with wet eyes.
The entertaining games, played frequently.
The photos of friends and places held dear.
The contact of whom I am too shy to speak to.

And most importantly,
yet saddest of all...

the thousands of poems.
The stories of my doubtless fury,
my love for the pocket knife,
the yearn for another ****** line,
the sadness of another failed day,
the crushing expectations,
and the love I still feel.

The stories that pulled me from depression,
the stories that listened when nobody else would,
the stories that only I will ever have seen.

Even though it's fried silicon chip works no more,
I keep it still, not willing to let go.
So many things, lost forever,
all these things only I am to ever know.

All I see are lies.
In your eyes?
Glimmering reflections…
Dancing like the winter’s edge.
Reflected in my eyes.
And twisted by your vision.
We can never agree.
You’re never truly free

We will change,
Make things greater,
Make them better,
Fix it all up.

Not with petty bicycle patches,
But with entire tubes and rims.
Not with concrete filling,
But with fortresses of stone.

I promise it will work out,
But I cannot do anything by myself,
So I want your hands to help.

We will rise like the flowing tide,
Creating a motion side by side,
And reach for the ever falling sky.

It is always the walls
that come crashing down
to suspend a new dawn.

Built to illuminate power
and show integrity,
but where does integrity lie
in a structure soon to die?

Yet it is the bridges
that hold a higher power
than mere stone walls can shower.

Bridges are never blown
for a new empire to be grown,
but bridges are commonly built
to support an empire's tang and hilt.

Don’t you see,
The ruby red blood?
We love the pain, you and me.
Bother sides of me are mud
So we should just let it out dude
I love that we can finally get on the same page
I love the blood, i love the cuts crude
Now that we bleed, we have left that cage
We are truly free, flying above all
Not listening to anyone’s pleas
No matter how much the beckon or call
To us they are nothing more than fleas
You shouldn’t trust them, ever.
Just trust me, I’m your benevolent endeavor.

Betwixt these sheets,
I lie, ablaze.
In this blanket maze,
I run, deathless.
Hidden in vulnerable darkness,
I protect, ardently.
On my stomach, lying low,
I regret, somberly so.

As the life in your eyes began to fade
I saw you wings decay,
Like a autumn marsh
Turning from amber to beige.

Everything you had was lost,
Yet you fight remains;
An inferno among the flames.

You rose, an empress among the monarchs,
And finished, a champion among winners.

You’re a falcon in the wind,
A ruler of your world.
You never lost home, and now you’re here.

Welcome home.

The depths of consciousness,
Pierced by the needle
Of everlasting imagination.

Childish whims
And vehement tranquility
Continually surround
This world of purity.

Clear and transparent before me,
Lying calmly and silently.
The dawn rises behind the horizon,
The moon, once gone,
Now over the silver land.
Electrified emotions
Left to stimulate a dim moonlight.

The thunder of gods
Hitting like a stone,
Yet fragmenting
Like hollow glass;
An insufferable impact
Followed by a spectral radiance
Of the refractive prisms
Which now litter
Our wandering minds.

Shielded in a titanium cell,
living in a serene state of solitude.
The cold world wouldn't harm,
but the cold cage did.

Beaten with insults,
scarred with fists.
Living an infernal life,
so I built an immaculate chamber.

A cell thought to be without flaw.
Frozen solid, but slowly shattering.
Only a warm heart could thaw,
and now mine's fluttering.

I’m sitting in a nowhere,
No life, no sense of flair.

Life bustles all around,
But it’s all a monotone mound,
There’s no variation to be found.

New places,
New spaces,
And new paces
Is the basis
For a mind in stasis.

So i might stop this mope,
And put a wayward hope
Into a little elope.

Feb.2019

I am a leaf
Flimsy and death bound,
Waiting for the grief
When i float to the ground.
I am a fallen life
Brittle and soon to die,
The cold stabs with its knife.
The wind makes me fly
It shoves me through the air
With it’s taunts that get me to weep
Eventually i will tear
And go to an endless sleep
Another leaf broken
Because it was left open

Embracing the colors
As they spin off the spiral,
Reaching out to touch my desires
And bring each little spectrum
Onto my monochromatic planet.

Spinning through my world
Like a brilliant top atop a table.
The spiral brings a blinding light
And preaches words of color like a fable.

The purest expiration;
The train has left the station
There’s no need to lie it out
There’s no need to contain it
It’s just a small remainder;
What’s left of our container
But shattered resonation?
A silenced inhibition
Led me to emotion.
There’s no thoughts to control,
This mind just isn’t whole.