I still fight;
yet I still cry at night.

I still sing a lullaby;
yet I still want to die.

I still bleed some ink;
'cause I still overthink.

I still feel like an elf;
for I still doubt myself.

I still am pale;
for I still can fail.

I still cause heartaches;
for I still make mistakes.

I still enjoy this tone;
but I still feel alone.

I still fill my bed with squares;
'cause I still have nightmares.

I still swim through rhymes;
yet I still drown sometimes.

I still want to hold you, dear;
because, honey, I still fear.

For a moment I would stop
and gaze at the sunset;
as the sun humbles itself,
I still could not forget.

For a moment I would stop
and search for the moon;
for the night is overwhelming,
I hope it fades away very soon.

For a moment I would stop
and listen to my demons;
different voices, different tones,
they are hungry lions.

For a moment I would stop
and recall my past;
what had happened?
What was that blast?

For a moment I would stop
and realize my mistakes;
I thought they would strengthen me,
but anxiety is all they make.

For a moment I would stop
and overthink for a while;
I could not sleep,
the sheep had ran a mile.

For a moment I would stop
and do nothing, but sank;
I feel nothing, am I nothing?
'Cause I feel like I'm blank.

For a moment I would stop,
hoping that this will all stop;
because I'm too drained
for another teardrop.

If I distance myself a bit,
it's your understanding that I'd want to meet.

If my silence reaches the moon,
honey, don't worry, I'll laugh soon.

If I changed for a while,
I promise I won't change my smile.

If pain makes me grieve,
please do not leave.

If at times I fail,
sing to me, like a nightingale.

If I become cold,
please do not loosen your hold.

If my demons strike again,
it's time for you to save me once again.

If you think that my love is fading,
no, honey, I'm still fighting.

If I am nowhere to be found,
I'm standing stranded on the same ground.

If I die tonight, dear,
please do not shed a tear.

rainbows did not interest me anymore
I could always hear my demons' roar

a sound sleep could not save me at all
how would you expect me to stand tall?

even the flowers that bloomed through sun's ray
couldn't make me smile, couldn't make my day

a hug could help, but only for a minute
deep talks made sense, but no one swam through it

laughter became rare and expensive
I couldn't afford one; even my tokens were evasive

they said sunsets could make you happy
oh... um... really?  

what sound should I make when I drown?
should I shout or should I just frown?

it felt like death; I've always wanted to die
happiness was silent... and so was I