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Ive always feared playing friend.
I guess what I really feared was the truth,
That playing friend would mean,
I had accepted we as us had come to an end.
•~•
Truthfully I think it's already true.
It's already too late to change anything,
'Cause at the end of the day,
I know there is no more me an you.
 Jul 2017 Another Song
Allyssa
'Cause when I say, "Go to sleep,"
It means, "I love you."
Or when I tell you to eat,
That means, "Hey I care."
When you tell me that you love me,
and,
I call you an idiot,
That's me saying it back but with the equivalence of stupidity.
You are the reason I stay awake at night and dream with my eyes open,
You are the stars in my dark sea that I have been constantly trying to drown myself in,
You are,
For Gods sake's,
My Planet Earth because what else is going to supply me the oxygen I need when my brain says,
"Don't breathe."
You make me not want to die when all I could think of is dying cause you know,
Depression.
You are my alarm clock to when I sleep in,
My everyday phone call,
My back up plan when my back up plan needs a back up plan.
There are a billion of people out here that could have chosen me to deal with but you,
You at least tolerate me.
Thank you for the tolerance, at least.
Love.
 Jul 2017 Another Song
Sushmita
I was yours but you were never mine
In the midst of those dark clouds
I was your sunshine.

The essence of your smile
Wiped all my tears.
The voice of your confidence
Vanished all my fears.

But all of it was just for a while
Cause I was yours
But you were never mine.

Embraced your tears
Craved for your smile
Loved your anger
And all those pretty lies.

But all of it was just for a while
Cause I was yours
But you were never mine.

The warmth of your breath across my face
The shiver of your touch filled all the space
The syncing of your lips across mine
The whisper of your voice reverberates in my mind.

But all of it was just for a while
Cause I was yours
But you were never mine.

When you were lost
I showed you the directions
But it was too late to realize
I was not your destination.

I chased your footsteps
As you walked away
Killing all my dreams ;on the way
Breaking all my hopes; I had to say
Numbing all my songs; making the lyrics float
In those sleepless night
For you which I wrote.

And now I see you
Fall over her lap
Tenderly sleeping
As she has filled the gap.
But don't worry about me
I'm fine.

Cause I was yours
But you were never mine.
Hold me in the rain.
Press your warm back to me and guard me from the storm
as we watch mist turn to showers turn to torrents.
Watch the lightning streak the sky with all my favorite hues.
Let me breathe into your shoulder
and wish for an eternal moment.

Dance with me in the rain.
Take my hand and run into the street
as we embrace the heat of the summer sky.
Spin me, dip me, hold me
as we laugh and shout and splash
No cares for shoes or hair
in this moment.

Kiss me in the rain.
Let your hands cradle my face
and press your lips to my forehead, nose, cheeks,
lips.
Sweetly, sweetly, sweetly,
as if the storm around us was but fog
as if the lightning above was but a limelight
as if the puddles at our feet were but dry land.
As if nothing else matters outside this moment.

Love me in the rain.
Based on a dream I wish I could have stayed in. There's rain in the forecast this afternoon, but I'll be alone.
It's been so long since I've written,
It's almost like I've forgot.
It's been so long since I was open,
It's almost like I'm not.

I really dont know how to say that,
I am not okay once more.
I really dont know how to say that,
I am not quite sure what for.

Perhaps it's because you're gone,
Perhaps the fact it's all over.
Perhaps it's because you left,
Perhaps the fact I'm a leftover.

It hurts trying to accept the that,
It really is the end.
It hurts trying to accept that,*
It really isn't "boyfriend".
It's been two months and I'm still trying to deal with the fact, the love of my life, is nothing but that, the love of, my life.... not hers...
 Jul 2017 Another Song
Lunar
you said that
you love it when it rains.
little did you know that
it rains
whenever i shed a tear.
maybe that's why
you seem happy
even if i'm hurt;
you enjoy
whenever i cry.
and i'll always end up
exchanging your sorrow
for my euphoria,
in hopes of you
loving the rain—
me, my tears, and my pain.
(j.m.)
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