Relapse.
Is that what this is?
I’m drowning instead of breathing again.

Relapse.
Is that what this is?
Because I’m feeling more awake than alive.

Relapse.
Is that what this is?
Because I no longer have feeling inside.

I can’t get myself out of my head
Dancing in circles, I can’t catch what I said
Over and over and over again
I catch myself believing that this is the end

Anxiety.
It drops down the back of my neck
like water,
but not water.
It’s like water from the river Lethe.
It makes me forget
what I know to be true.
It makes me forget
the truths that I should know,
the truths that you tell me,
and the truths that are undeniable, still-

I am forced to drink
from the River Lethe.

starlight,
star bright
the sun is awfully
dim tonight
i wish i may
i wish i might
don’t let the darkness
quench my light.

I want to write something.
I want to feel the words dripping from my fingers
like they are a faucet of poetry.
I want to feel all the similes and metaphors
run through my veins.
I want to write something.

Please listen to me now
Can’t you try to hear?
Instead you just block out my sound
Stick your fingers in your ears
Singing, “la la la”
While I crescendo to a shout
In your head I’m just a whisper
In my ears I’m screaming out
Begging please, please, spare a moment
And perhaps I waste my breath
All I wanted was attention
Not to fight you to the death
So listen to my voice
And maybe you might see
Beneath the smile and poise,
The person that is me.