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Preston Reid Aug 2020
“Everyone has there addiction “
I was told by my father of a ride home after a long weekend and it stuck with me as if everyone is struggling with something it helped ease some anxiety and my dads were drugs and my moms the finding my pain calming to her knowing she caused some of it and mine well was far worse they would say as if I didn’t know and whenever I had a chance to satisfy my urges I would because I had nothing to lose except my life and of course that was my goal
Preston Reid Aug 2020
I look in this mirror of mirrors seeing everything wrong with me and who I been in this last year I have loved, hated, lost, and lived a little more than I usually do and I have loved a little bit more than I usually do and hated myself a little more than I usually do but I still yet to be a little bit more of the person I want to become but let's see if I can make it to next year :)
I haven't been good In a long time
Preston Reid Sep 2020
I wanna love
I know its everyone's dream or most of the population  
but I'm too hard to love in this state my emotions twist and turn like the streets of this city this big city of lovestruck teens but hey
everyone looks a different way to a different person I'm a pit stop among the long road of amazing sights and amazing people
but hey at least i give my all right?
even if i get shot down as soon as i get to that happy place because maybe i don't deserve it or maybe I'm doing something wrong
and maybe just maybe i try to hard
don't chase just wait
then
what?
idek where I am at that
Preston Reid Jul 2020
I could write all night with the lamp by my bed shining so bright with no end in sight with all my inner dread there won’t be enough yet said to tell you how much I loved you right there and then
It has been very rough these last few nights
Preston Reid Apr 2020
The more I think In This head of mine
The more I think of past times in the wind like wind chimes as I pick from my favorites of those memories in my mind the more I see they will never be just mine
Preston Reid Jul 2020
outside is getting violent  

with people killing and getting killed wonder who is among the strong willed

outside is becoming empty  

when a invisible devil reaping on the unready

outside is not ready

for what will come in this unjust and incompetent society if we don't stop killing and maybe start thinking who we have lost
I suffer from severe social anxiety and hardly leave my house but at this point Im happy I'm here and not out there but here's why I'm happy I'm on this side of the glass and what I see out of it
Preston Reid Dec 2020
I already have a broken heart
  yet with this heart
I will never part
with it in pieces like a freshly opened puzzle
you changed my point of view you
showed me with every piece there's a story
not a failure
ahhh Idk if this is good
Preston Reid Jul 2021
I hope I live again
this world or the next
In this time or another
In whatever body or form
Just with the smallest chance
To meet you again
To look into your beautiful eyes
To have another chance
So i live in this life
Hoping that there’s a next
With that slightest chance
To hold you close
Once again
This life or the next I always meant what I said
“Always and forever”
Preston Reid Jun 2020
No matter what advice I give or people I try to help it never seems to be enough cause no matter how much emotion I put into this Ocean of emotions I never get any water back and that’s difficult because all I want my cup to be half full not empty so I will sit on this raft of lies in this Ocean to stay afloat but this raft might spring a leak and I might sink to the depths of despair and wait for my soul to be reaped but that’s okay cause at least your raft will float and never sink
I really am proud of this one and hope who ever is reading this does too :)
Preston Reid Aug 2020
Have you ever just looked up at the stars? Just you and yourself and I mean really looked at them what will you be doing the next time every star on that night is in the same spot where will you be? who will you be? you make so many choices every day so how about today you make the choice to be a better person the next time you look at those stars and they are in the same spot but you're not
Have you ever thought about it?
Preston Reid Oct 2020
making bad decisions is my whole brand  
no matter the day
no matter the weather
I make bad decisions knowing what I'm doing
and it could be the self-destruction I long for
it could be the stupid smile they put on there stupid face that says they love me that leads me down a rabbit hole of pain
chains linking me to my incompetence
the gun I put to my head to say "I'm okay"
but the choice I made this time
might be one of my best but we shall see
Isn’t that right love?
AHHHHH
Preston Reid Aug 2020
With the screaming in my ears and the thuds, I can feel through these cheap floorboards but it’s the best we Can afford. Is there a stop to this meaningless pain he feels like inflicting?

How much more can you take?

I asked as her children are sobbing for there mom to be safe and okay yet I hear no answer as I hear you fall one gets brave and run toward the door of the crime and gets pushed down and made fun of cause

"he’s annoying"

they said as well did everyone so he became more silent even though he might have been one of the smartest there. 6-year-old who was slower than the other kids but got made fun of by his stepdad for
not being able to say what he needed

when yelled at frozen in fear he wouldn’t move scared for something to happen to him

now the only thing they have is the scars and trauma for back then

im glad its over
I lived with this for years but they are doing better I can infer that much but I'm glad that it's over. if you are experiencing anything like this please call 1−800−799−7233 the national domestic abuse hotline the victim cant always do it so  please try to help
Preston Reid Aug 2020
I think life is just full of pain and those moments of joy you feel in between those terrible days or weeks hell maybe terrible years are just that, moments. Those moments where you truly smile and look out the window and are happy that you can see that beauty of this war stricken world up close is what we need to be grateful for its what we live for and im finally okay with that
Preston Reid Nov 2020
The fear to lose you
in a blink of an eye  
faster then I said I love you  
faster then I decided nothing else matters
but you
without you
I don't get to see that smile
I don't get to see the way you walk when you are happy
or hold your face
Without you
there's no "okay"
Preston Reid Jun 2020
I look through pictures of this person I used to be with these faded whispers of the people I have seen telling me they miss the old me and don’t get me wrong I do too but who did I used too be?i was happy is all that matters I was free to be me and I didn’t understand the privilege that was given to me. That was my first mistake upon Many that kept piling up till I couldn’t see what was in front of me so I’m blind to will happen tomorrow but as they say tomorrow is not that far away
Preston Reid Apr 2020
As I sit with the sand at me feet
And the crash of waves in arms length
All I can think about
Is you
Holding my hand in yours
Telling me
This will never change

— The End —