I get mad a lot to mask this withering heart
I get scared a lot because of the people who like to hurt me
No I don’t get happy often but on a rainy day on a pile of dead sticks under the trees in early October I was nothing but happy with her head in my arms she will never understand what she did for me that evening and I don’t intend to jinx it but my darling you are one of a kind, My one of a kind.
Look me in the eye and tell me your okay
because the tears are there behind those beautiful eyes and intoxicating smile of yours
under lock and key and guarded like the most important secrets
but I'm gonna work for that key and I'm gonna gain the trust of that guard maybe take over his shift because he needs the rest
everyone needs a break
you included love.
I wanna love
I know its everyone's dream or most of the population
but I'm too hard to love in this state my emotions twist and turn like the streets of this city this big city of lovestruck teens but hey
everyone looks a different way to a different person I'm a pit stop among the long road of amazing sights and amazing people
but hey at least i give my all right?
even if i get shot down as soon as i get to that happy place because maybe i don't deserve it or maybe I'm doing something wrong
and maybe just maybe i try to hard
don't chase just wait
idek where I am at that
today we hold this ceremony for two whos connection stretches bounds where no man had stepped back to one another
today we hold this matrimony
and his pain
so come the vowes
Preston, you go first
I don't know what why we are doing this ceremony everyone knew you were apart of me since I was 11 wrapping around my childlike brain like a storm but I thought I would make it official that we will be together forever so don't bring the rings to cause i already have the cuts around my wrist so lets just use that since you gave them to me so i take you as my pain for sickness and in health and for richer and poorer and for better or worse because you were going to be there anyway
“Everyone has there addiction “
I was told by my father of a ride home after a long weekend and it stuck with me as if everyone is struggling with something it helped ease some anxiety and my dads were drugs and my moms the finding my pain calming to her knowing she caused some of it and mine well was far worse they would say as if I didn’t know and whenever I had a chance to satisfy my urges I would because I had nothing to lose except my life and of course that was my goal
The books I read,
The songs I listen to...
All fill me with envy
Such lives they have
Filled with feelings and emotions
I would die to feel
My insides are numb
As if turned to stone
My mind's dead,
My heart asleep
I carry on like a machine
I want to escape my life
With the screaming in my ears and the thuds, I can feel through these cheap floorboards but it’s the best we Can afford. Is there a stop to this meaningless pain he feels like inflicting?
How much more can you take?
I asked as her children are sobbing for there mom to be safe and okay yet I hear no answer as I hear you fall one gets brave and run toward the door of the crime and gets pushed down and made fun of cause
they said as well did everyone so he became more silent even though he might have been one of the smartest there. 6-year-old who was slower than the other kids but got made fun of by his stepdad for
not being able to say what he needed
when yelled at frozen in fear he wouldn’t move scared for something to happen to him
now the only thing they have is the scars and trauma for back then but I can't get over it
I lived with this for years but they are doing better I can infer that much but I'm glad that it's over for them. if you are experiencing anything like this please call 1−800−799−7233 the national domestic abuse hotline the victim cant always do it so unlike me please try to help