I was the mistake
       The twisted pervert
       The freak freak freak
       The try too hard to fit in
       The anorexic miserable *****
       The depressed neglected waste of time
I am the nothing
       The girl who keeps getting scar after scar
       The girl who begs to be hurt so she'll feel
       The girl who can't find comfort in her own blood anymore
       The body limp waiting for someone to find me

A ****** girls stands on the corner.
She's to young to be this aged.
Flirty winks and forced smiles
draw the suited men in.
Heavy makeup, short skirt
Drugs to forget her misdeeds
Reminds herself not to flinch,
their ***** hands ghost across her skin.
She throws away her morals
to please a corrupt man.
For the price of disobedience
Is her fleeting life.

I am suffocating.
There are people with smiles and sweaters,
Asking me questions, judging me, pretending to care.
Sitting close around the table,
Trapped with no escape; pinned.
Looking my tormentor in the face, faking fine.
Taking hours to poke and stoke
The unyielding heap on my plate.
Bubbly mindless chatter -- external.
Dread and vile hatred -- internal.
My eyes betray my lie and show the truth I hide.

I am suffocating.
Under my own weight.

I am suffocating.
I am not better.

I am suffocating.
I am not thankful for stuffing.

Oh Heaven, don't let your kid really be me.
God forbid,
I want to be a writer, maybe a poet, for the rest of my life.
God forbid,
I love her, though it's forbidden I dream of her again.
God forbid,
I grow up different than you had planned for us.

Oh Hell, don't let your kid really be me.
God forbid,
I live your religion better than you and your illusions.
God forbid,
I walk through the door and plead for peace, just once.
God forbid,
I draw another "dark" sketch and tape it to your mirror.

Oh Help, don't let your kid really be me.
God forbid,
I wear a skirt or shorts or skinny jeans and people see.
God forbid,
I remember all your transgressions and don't let them go.
God forbid,
I stop pretending and show you the psychopath you've made.

But you will never be able to give me help,
that would mean pointing fingers at yourself.
God forbid that I've ****** up my life like you did yours.

I Will Dream For You,
A Spectator to your word,
They drip silently from your pen,
Pain and passion mixed beautifully,
I Will Call You No One,
Sometimes I can not speak after reading,
Empty and Beating left my heart throbbing,
Your poems got me all One Sided,
Never stop writing,
Every word was worth it,
And so are you.

Tell me again how I'm fat
Tell me again how I'm a *****
Tell me again how I'm an idiot
Tell me again how I'm scarred and marked
Tell me again how I'm useless

                                         I'm fast approaching 90 pounds
                                         I'm one mistake from a ******
                                         I'm in NHS and my GPA is high
                                         I'm a warrior wounded
                                         I'm a support-group leader

Tell me again,
     because I already tell myself.
I'm so used to hearing lies,
      I'll believe them anyway.

I want to get drunk
                         So I can talk to you
I wnat to get durnk
                         So I can kiss you
i wnta to gte dnruk
                         So I can tell you
iwnttgtdrnk
                         So I can *******
Like you **** with my head