I stayed up talking with you for four hours tonight.
It started off with nervous laughter at potential ****-ups and ended in comfortable butterflies fluttering in my twisted stomach.
You call me “youngin” because you know how much it annoys me,
You’re only older by a year (“and six months”, you always remind me),
But you say my naivety is adorable.
You’re starting to catch on to the little phrases I say
And each time you say them, I notice more than any one around you probably does.
Showered in infatuation, bathing in the intoxication of affection,
We lull into an unrealistic sense of security that we find in each other arms, hundreds of miles away.
We might never meet again
But each time I talk to you, it’s like the first time.
A whispered laugh at your gasp as you realize just what time it really is
And I tell you it’s okay to go to sleep because I care about you
But you don’t care for me in the same way.
That’s okay as long as you keep calling me until 2:10.

My stomach decides to light itself on fire in your presence as I wait to find comfort in a hug that I needed 10 minutes before.
I think people misunderstand just how introverted I actually am, how the spark of a laugh sends me to a corner in my room and leaves me screaming  for a hand to hold.
You know, a glance from you followed by a gentle touch puts all of my evils to rest. It keeps me safe from myself. You keep me safe from myself.
And it's nights like these, with the thunder and the gloom, that make me wonder if I will ever stop needing your smile to make it through the night.
I could do it before.
So why do I need you now?

Maybe I never knew just how much I needed you.

sunkissed skin and vibrant skies,
warm season has always been the same
but when i met those summer dazed eyes,
i knew that trouble just came

he had lips that kissed wetter than the ocean
he had arms like waves that swallowed me
he filled my summer with cuddly flirtations
he filled thousands of sunflowers within me

but just like how summer came to an end,
he left and autumn arrived with tears to shed
and just like how abandoned flowers would be,
they eventually died inside of me

that summer was more than fifty shades of love
turned into an endless waves of misery
just wishing upon the tangerine sky above
that tides will bring him back to me

'twas a long hot summer day
sticky air without a breeze
concrete burning my bare feet
cicadas screaming in the trees

a triggered memory
smelling honeysuckle scent,
the way he looked at me
remembering what he meant

when I was sixteen
with his mischievous grin
and a squint in his eye
he said, I hope you know how to swim

in his old pick up truck
as we rolled the windows down
he drove us to this place
in the woods outside of town

off road, through a pasture
to a watering hole, he found
guaranteed to cool me off
from spring fed water underground

sweet talking me naked
still not sure how he did it
a memory now sacred
my first time skinny dippin'

Writing highly of you is almost becoming competitive.
Its must feel good reading poem after poem about how perfect you are.
I hope that mine live up to the standards that they have all set.
They all talk of how you radiate joy.
Of how your little actions mean the world.
They aren't wrong.
A smile from you leaves me longing for the sight of you all day.
A giggle, and my heart skips a beat, fluttering to the tune of your joy.
The melodic words that spill from your pen seem to be tattooed all over my body, running along my sides and up and down my arms until the strands of black ink meet on the spot above my heart.
The breathtaking collision of your kiss sends my fears and worries and little insecurities away to a far off place, never to be seen when your smile is in my thoughts .
it’s safe.
it’s bliss
it’s everything.

Thank you