You can find me waltzing at an ungodly hour under a blood red sky
with tears upon my pain stricken face and terror in my eyes.

You can tell me to stop, tell me how I’m hurting myself,
and still I will pick at the same seams until I find comfort in pain

You can hear me singing “So don’t let me cave in” in a basement at a party,
and know that if I do, it’s not your fault.

You can talk to me and I will listen.
And here. In this moment. In this interaction, I will smile. I will lie.
I will say that everything is fine.

But what makes you stand out is that you never believe me.
You have no idea how much I need that.

This poem has been left blank for quite some time.
It was hard to find the right words to say about you.
I don't think I ever really will.
But the thoughts  that come to mind are priceless

Your such a summer, though you dress like a winter. Even the summer sky is black at night. And your smile is the stars that shine through the blanket of night. They reflect a twinkle in your eye when you are with your friends.

You talk so low of your self and it hurts like ****. You are one of the biggest joys in my life. From late night hysteria to mid day chemistry you always put an honest smile on my face.

And I wouldn't trade you for the world. You are part what makes it so enjoyable. So thank you for every honest smile, every loving hug, every late night ride home, every basement concert, and every little moment I spent with you.

I love spending all three Fridays of the week with you.

I told you to do what you wanted, to make your own choice, and you left me alone.
So I sat by the lake by myself and sang a song about how you let me cave in.

later, when the sun was fully submerged under the lake water, and my sadness had left me, you came back to me in that same spot,
and gave me a memory of a waltz, a kiss, and a reason to smile. I will truly never forget.

On the walk back, with my bare feet pressed against the concrete and my converse swinging by my side, I thought about how you have such a beautiful way of influencing my emotions like the pendulum they are.

It wouldn’t be living  if there wasn’t some sadness.

Staring at the walls in my bleak and empty room,
hoping I'll lose my pessimism soon
I'm playing records on repeat
and never catching up on sleep,
and I'm over it. I'm over you

I cross my fingers when I smile and tell you that I'm doing fine
and I'm not trying to hurt you. It's just a hopeless ******* lie.
I'm writing letters to myself,
I'm writing letters to you,
and I think I'm starting to get better.

I saw you in my thoughts today,
from a world away,
and when you passed me by,
you couldn't look me in the eye.

I kept your picture in my pocket, so close yet out of sight,
and now you've left me here in pieces, I swear that I'm all right,
And the promise that you made me when we jumped into the lake,
I hope we'll get there some day.

Your friends become acquaintances,
and then they just pass by,
so lets face the new with courage,
and let the old ways die.