Everyone can see me
Towering over the land
It's impossible to miss
This 10foot tower when I stand

Yet I feel hidden daily
Like a tiny little bug
All this invisible giant wants
Is a tiny little hug

Whiskey in a tea cup
Porcelain and wild
Blonde and dark
She's running me amok

She swept through my life like a
tempest
Whirling and screaming and
Throwing dishes, crying, swearing -
All the things those storms do
to make you never forget

She'd destroy my home
And I'd take cover
Cursing her and that infernal
Wildness

When it stops
And the rain quits pouring
I'd look to the sky,
hoping it would all happen
Again.

Thank you, ex-lover
For teaching me my true worth.
For showing that you cannot love
Based on a smile.
And thank you, *******
For teaching me to stick up for myself.
Because if it wasn't for your insults
I'd be defenseless.
Thank you, ex-lover
For cheating on me.
By doing so, you gave me a chance
To leave.
Thank you, ex-lover
For ruining me.
Because falling to the bottom only
Made me climb higher than I was.
And finally, ex-lover
Thank you for being so cruel
Now I know certain traits
To keep an eye out for and to avoid.

When I look at her I see pain.
In the dark nights I hear her silent pleas.
She screams about the rain.
How it never stops.
How it's pounding her Brain.
Yes down falls the rain.
Yesterday night she fell weak to the blade.
Told me she'd be strong.
Promised nothing would go wrong.
I went to bed only in the morning to hear her gentle voice say...
"I'm sorry I wasn't strong."
It's okay I replied. You made it through the night.

My head isn't in it
Of course I love you
Heart is in it
My head isn't  

I've been destroyed
All that's left is not me
I've been turned into worry
I was that strong tree

Now I am a flower
That bends to the will of the wind

The heart can heal all.
That's why we fear
Opening it up
For a fickle other.
We can lose our
Best chance at
Self-defense.

I don't fear
The break,
So I send mine
On a plate.
Recipients are
Used to games.
I am, however,
Fiercely straight-forward,
With self-confidence
Coated in
Uncertainty. Vanity. Candy.
Recipients simply run from me.

This is why I focus on me,
Expired of all of my romances.
Thankful Universe gave us chances
To quickly flee the scene
Before the heart dances.
Lonesome creatures are courageous.

The sky like the palm of my hands
Is clear and faint
Holding stars and then slowly digesting them
Just like I do with magic pills.


--Watercolour

i'm erasing myself from the narrative