Oct 19, 2013

Come closer.
I won't bite.
Take that back.
Yes I will.
If you want me to.

Jul 24

it's in the way your smile is reserved for only the things you find stomach achingly funny
it's in the way you twitch your lips when you'd rather not decide
its in the way you are never a yes or a no, but a solid maybe
its in the way you read the words off of a paper more gracefully and confidently than when conversing
its in the way you push your glasses up the bridge of your nose as if trying to put less space between you and the world, but just enough for comfort
its in the way you smile like you know something the world does not and you carry that knowledge around on your slumped over shoulders

#boy   #a   #for  
Apr 28, 2013

All this time I thought I was the one with the issues.
I guess not.

Oct 19, 2013

I have no dance partner.
It's just me and the mirror.
My rhythm is a little off.
My towel dropped.
The air is hitting my naked body.
The music is slow.
My hair is wet.
It's just me.

Mellow Ds
Feb 18, 2011

The monkey on my back is just a cigarette under the crack
Where your fingertips can not, anymore, the nicotine pursue...
A stain in my Egyptians, the painful intermissions
And nevertheless a violent ingestion, the cavalry consumed.
Dogs don't eat dogs unless they're the runts of the group,
And when they come out crooked, the casualties ensue.
Ribs on my shoulders, eyes in my aorta
And just as I guessed, from out of my chest, a ghost not unlike you.

Ive been here 666 years and the irony is insane
The only voices Ive had in my head were dripping off the brain
A zombie could knock down a wall or take 3 in the chest
But a dog with the head of a worm is quicker than the rest.
Uninvited your spine comes crashing into my field of view
Negatives of your face fading into non-photo blue
The tree canopy becomes a face that looks a bit like yours
But when it blinks my heart sinks, and you walk out the door.

Signals running every which way! Scream me, baby! Do it!
Lose my caller I.D. witch bitch slow

Eat it all under a vacuum heart and say the words!
Gooba gabba gooba gabba! We accept you, one of us!
Shoreline, waistline, eyeliner, center divider
Crash into the sea and settle underneath!
The bubbles quit rising! A man is inside!
He looks like your and my hatechild!

You wanted art!! Ill give you art!
As soon as my head stops circling around.

One of us!

(c) Ryan Bowdish 2010-2011
Mellow Ds
Feb 17, 2011

The sadness continues and hilarity ensues:
With a close eye on the test tube, I burn down my venues.
Foxes and diamonds from the cancer within you
Grace my damned health with phrases that spin you and
Body-parts scattered beside collapsed ladders with
Hair torn and tattered and dog jawbones shattered,
Deceived by a tarot-card-reading man with a hook hand
Who said the scam was a means to increase public demand
Before walking through sewers to see old friends skewered
On trees made of wire with leaves like computers
From Silicon valley rejects who were top of their classes,
Oblivious to the fact that they're dead to the masses,
Who only want cellphones that tell them their names,
So they can remember who they are and from whence they came
And how old they will be on their final birthdays,
When sunlight and skies will be fluorescence and X-rays
And children will tell all their mothers to die slow,
Because they're looking for something more loving than "I know
How much you hate yourself and the world surrounding
Because the applause at your funeral won't be resounding,
Plus your father loves alcohol more than your sister,
Who you may not have known, had your father not missed her,
Which is why all the walls are covered in blisters
And there are cat's eyes and hands peering out of the pisser,"
To which there is no reply, save for incredulity,
For as we collectively die, you all put on all your jewelry,
Which was made by a child with no concept of labor,
Who gets less respect than sweater-vest wearing men in the paper
Who get there by switching the flow and catching the vapors,
Like sentient parasites or intelligent tapeworms
Who tell me it's unhealthy to meet someone and hate her
Simply because when I look at her all I see is the savior.

(c) Ryan Bowdish 2010-2011
Mellow Ds
Feb 18, 2011

I love the smell of my flesh in the morning
So soothing, like the ghost of the woman you're mourning
Conforming to a bitterness, you swore to me
That you wouldn't do what you did, but what's more to me
Is that your stain rests upon every thing that I enjoy
My heart is a consultant, don't insult it by calling it unemployed.
I put too much time into your eyes on my mind, in my rhyme
Undermined, badly timed, so let's get to other subject lines

Starlight baking cloudy, shaking
Hourglass breaking, howling naked
On a street corner, "Happy Birthday!" (belated)
Just say it. If it's in a reactor, it's decaying
A single rooftop smothered by snowflakes, earthquakes
Heartbreaks, salt shakers, risk-takers, green bakers
Understudy, crush me honey, lose my number, don't go under
Keep me waiting and debating, my hand shaking, the phone breaking

My face is a reflection of the sunlight's rays
Keeping a constant rumbling from underground at bay
And everyone complains that they're smothered in their own way
But when I rationalize the rainbows, their records won't play
I simply need the orchards to escape this lonely torture
A place to sit and paint in front of a tree and make a fortune
Soothing ears to rest and putting minds at ease
My music, a viral infection, a depressive disease

Constantly starving myself of the rain
I bring the trees to their roots and stimulate the brain
With a conflagration of color, instantly insane
Yet civilized, melody harmonized, urbane
The strings will vibrate and body rejuvenate
Conceptual mind-rape a rising heart-rate
The starlight glowing outwards, the falling of the towers
To signify to flip to side B in a mere matter of hours

(c) Ryan Bowdish 2010-2011
Mellow Ds
Feb 17, 2011

My brain is your atomic nuclear warfare paintings
All the while you face-lift X-box babies
Needle-thread we're dead babe don't you make a man crave
For things he can't quite understand but doesn't want to hit the hand.
Severance is fiction in the hands of friction,
sexual deviance and erratic disobedience,
Covers the covers like a silk-screen layout
Jack it up and crack it up to be fucked up takeout.

Oh yeah? Well over we're starving ripping pieces off the mountains
Dentistry mythology, who needs a medical degree?
The label on the box said the tape was all in my head
But I don't hear a fucking sound except the fire all around
Grass is misleading and graffiti complaining
The AK is God here and through towns we're raiding
You think you got it so bad this is all the life we ever had
And don't you ever stop by cause our values are just alibis.

Okay, enough! This is all a double feature burger for here or to go
This is all a Catholic preacher in a Red Cross rodeo
Life is an airplane flying overhead carrying passengers with nothing in their heads
And turning all the lights out and pulling all the blinds down so they can't see the truth.
Disguise misguide and everything in between
Have you seen the snuff film with Jenna Haze and Jimmy Dean?
Garden salad, Diet Coke, check now and choke
Give us our bombs so we can run and go and rig the new VOTES.

Let me run it by the city council one more time
We're seeing flying cars and houses of cards and stumbling and tumbling
And rumbling and rumoring the hilarious splinter consumering
Maneuvering, assuming bottles fly with seagull eyes
The trees burn here like candy canes and run in the grass like membranes
Toxic fumes and entrails for reasoning and cold shame
Shudder at the thought of a shutter in a hot fuzz tee shirt worn by the slick insane
Generating heaterpuppy psychologic fragile now, undertow, the fifth row in the theater at the Apollo.

(c) Ryan Bowdish 2010-2011
Mellow Ds
Feb 18, 2011

Blindsided by a rhinoceros.
Tendons, muscles, unraveling. I can't do this any--
Glitch, system failure, shutdown
Restart, blue screen, flashing cursor
Epileptic shock. Epinephrine injected
Command line. Run:

Beautiful flying objects thrown violently.
Don't open this door! Kiss me hard
And not in a good way (if you remember how),
Like when fishes try to breathe on dry
Land on jagged Rock
Climbing without
Gears spinning and clanking
Pot and pan. (Glass and sand)

Sizzling in this artificial sun
Created by brainwaves soaked in
Napalm and LSD and yellow cake uranium
Ghostriding patterns erupting like
Stop. Fail. Restart.
Detecting equipment...
No input present. How will you communicate?
Try again. Restart.
Password required.

Why don't you eat?
These tears are making my face numb.
Put this in your arm.
Trust me, you'll love it.
You'll have Tesla coming out of every orifice.
Dancing physics, matryoshkas.

You can deny the existence of a God and live,
But if you deny the existence of gravity...
Well, just try and walk off this cliff.

"These thoughts are so scattered.
I don't even think they're mine."
Those memories? They're not yours.
They belong to your master's daughter.
We're Replicants.
We boot up, we shut down, we most definitely restart.
Viruses make us sick and sometimes break us to the point where we need new hardware.
Sometimes they break our firmware and we need to wipe.
We have command lines to perform actions, and registry keys to keep memory stored of the things we learn.
The world is our power supply,
and when we boot up in safe mode,

we only use the bare minimum of our potential.
I must be dying, I'm only this awkward when I'm dying.
Connection timed out.

Mellow Ds
Feb 18, 2011

If you wanna get a good look
Here is the number... 666 oh 123
Im a joker, man, really. Its all a mind game,
So let us recalibrate the beat.

A man in a bar wound up in a storm
Where he felt nothing could go wrong
But any minute now we will generate a sound
That will keep the lonely man strung along.
Hes eating his own insides, acid diethylamide
Running from the bunkers into sands
Where the men who fire against him innovate a system
To blow him sky high into a fan.
It was always just a joke,  they tied him another rope
So they could keep his heartache in a single cell
No lights and no wires, the squealing of tires
Echoing in his head like bats of hell.
When his heart becomes released, hes cured of a disease
That only the lonely men in the world will know
And he can keep it in a jar, at the top of his tower
So he can prove it was never just for show.

If you wanna get a good look
Here is the number... 666 oh 123
Im a joker, man, really. Its all a mind game,
So let us recalibrate the beat.
A friend of mine wanted to have this one,
And I gave him a warning from the heart
They howl like hyenas and they drain out the sun,
They were raised this way from the start!

Walking from a hotel, escaping from a padded cell
A woman's eyes adjust to the sun,
She turns to a rainbow over a concrete meadow
And she proceeds, repeatedly to run.
A siren sounds and the pigs fly down
And loudly beat her into the ground
But when the people scream for sobriety,
They send in the special ops team.
She is rolled into the ER, her mind is spilling over
Her entrails, for halls, on the floor.
When the nurse comes out, she kicks and shouts
Because needles make her feel like a whore.
The man sits beside her, a wall is his divider
But his voice screams for him to be resumed
His will is awakened, the loathing is shaken,
And the wall, by his hatred is consumed.

Infraction distraction! A chemical reaction!
A busted heart writhing from a soul unspoken
Attacking the black team, the voices clashing
The bodies piling up and Pandora's  box is opened.
Ripping the cords from her face with his 4word letter grace
He sweeps her off the bed and hangs them by the head
Collides with a building with gold-tooth fillings
Blacksmith, locksmith, shadows in the distance
He turns into a red raw onion on its hind legs
Trying to jump a distance that he cant place
He reaches for a killer bee and instead holds pcp
And the birds head changes to a woman's face.
He lingers for a second until the shadows blink
Then he runs into a river to stop and sink
It was there he designed a building of its own kind
Where the woman and him practice witchcraft and sleep.

If you wanna get a good look
Here is the number... 666 oh 123
Im a joker, man, really. Its all a mind game,
So let us recalibrate the beat.
A friend of mine wanted to have this one,
And I gave him a warning from the heart
They howl like hyenas and they drain out the sun,
They were raised this way from the start!

(c) Ryan Bowdish 2010-2011
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