in another life,
you bought me that gold cross necklace
and i'll kiss your cherry wine lips

and we'll both be thrown to hell
but at least i get to hold your hands for eternity

Forbidden love Series
An unspoken promise -G
16 November  2021
Part 1

It's the itch and burn I feel on my skin when I think about you.
  Its the fact that once you slip into My thoughts I don't see why you are so bad.
You make me feel whole, you make me feel like I am not alone.
You kissed my skin and told me everything will be okay.
I know once you pop up it will take me a million years to walk away. A forbidden affair.

I miss how each blood red kiss was an unspoken love poem.
A beautiful promise.
A moment of peace and understanding.
You helped me escape.
You remind me that I am still alive. 
That the warm thick blood that runs through my veins keep me alive.

Oh how I ache to just check to see if I am still alive. To make sure that this numb feeling is not just in my mind.


I ache for your silence. A silence that is a deadly wish.
An addiction that had me clawing to feel your serenity.
As much as I grieve you I can't give you that power back.
I can't feel your sweet kisses across my skin.  I cannot fall back into your warm embrace because the minute I let my guard down is the is the minute I fall into your trap.

A trap that has a fine line between life and death. 

I gave you the power to rule my life once. I gave you all my control and I want to lay my trust in you as a god fearing servant does to their almighty God.

But just like God, I have to turn my back on you and walk away.

When I wake up in the morning I suddenly remember you,
I don't know how long I have to think about you and come back to you.

I thought I was done.
I thought I had forgotten my feelings for you.
No matter where I go,
I remember you,
Because there is something hidden in my heart,
You are there in history and have been revealed in my personality

The secret of my love for you,
That has been hidden for a long time and years in my heart and I need to forget.

You are still the one I want,
You are still the one I like,
You are still the one I love.

I don't know if you love me.
Because I feel this in you.
Do you love me?
You make me feel special to you.
Every time I see you I can't explain the feeling.

Even though I want you,
even though I want to be with you and let you love me,
But I have to avoid you.
I have to stay away from you.

You are the person I want to be with and stay in my life.
But I can't turn back time to the way it was when we were just the two of us.
The days and times I was with you are over.
A long time and years have passed without you being with me.

You have someone else and are loved.
It's too late to plead and bring everything back

With the cheap thought that I need someone like you by my side.

Will all the shortcomings in my heart be filled if we had only been together then until now.

The love that should have been mine and that I should have received because of you.
Will all the wounds in my heart heal by your side.

The love that cannot be removed from my heart.
Because you are a part of my heart forever.

I am not just a childhood friend and family member,
You are the root of my heart and my blood that you are always in my heart.

Whatever my feelings and emotions were for you before, that's all.
I never wanted to be consumed by the love that you wanted to give and that I wanted to possess.

I could forget how I looked at you for the rest of my life.
This hidden in the past, I abandoned.

Even though my past heart haunts me again and again, but the love that I want to have is only there.
Nothing else.

I want you to be happy.
I'm happy that you love someone else.

I'm thirsty for love but
I don't want to be hurt and force my heart to steal a moment to be happy with you, but tomorrow I'll only be hurt because I'll still be left alone and you're no longer with me.

Yes, I should come back to you but I can't.
Please don't remind me anymore.
Everything is gone, it's different now.
Let's put all the past to rest.
Let my heart rest in love.

I know you still love me but you can't take it anymore.
I still love you but not like before.

I love you even though there's something wrong with my feelings,
even though it hurts to hurt you
but I put it in the right place
because I love you,
because you love me that's what I reciprocated.

I chose the right love, not the forbidden love.


*******


"𝔹𝕒𝕨𝕒𝕝 ℕ𝕒 ℙ𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕓𝕚𝕘"

Pag gising ko sa umaga bigla kitang naalala,
Hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan kita kailangan isipin at balikan.

Akala ko natapos ko na.
Akala ko nakalimutan ko na ang feelings ko sayo.
Kahit saan ako mag ***** naalala kita,
Dahil may nakatago sa puso ko,
Naroroon ka sa history at nabungkal sa pagkatao
Ang lihim ng pagibig ko sayo,
Na natago ng mahabang panahon at taon sa puso ko at kailangan ko ng kalimutan.

Ikaw parin ang nais ko,
Ikaw parin ang gusto ko,
Ikaw parin ang mahal ko.

Hindi ko alam kung mahal mo ako.
Dahil nararamdaman ko sayo ito.
Mahal mo ba ako?
ipinararamdam mo saking special ako sayo.
Sa tuwing nakikita kita hindi ko maipaliwanag ang nadarama.

Kahit gusto kita,
kahit gusto kita makasama at payagang mahalin ako,
Pero kailangan kong iwasan ka.
Kailangan kong lumayo sayo.

Ikaw ang taong gusto ko makasama at manatili sa buhay ko.
Ngunit hindi ko na maibabalik ang panahon sa dati na tayo pang dalawa.
Tapos na ang mga araw at panahong nakasama kita.
Dumaan na ang mahabang panahon at taon na wala ka sa piling ko.

May roon ka ng iba at mahal.
Huli na para makisumamo at ibalik pa ang lahat

Sa murang pag iisip na kailangan ko ng isang tulad mo sa tabi ko.

Mapupunan ba lahat ng pagkukulang sa loob ng puso ko kung naging tayo nalang noon hanggang ngayon.

Ang pagmamahal na dapat na sa akin at dapat na natatanggap ko na dahil sayo.
Ang lahat ba ng sugat sa puso ko ay maghihilom sa tabi mo.

Ang pagibig na hindi maalis sa puso ko.
Dahil habang buhay kang laman sa puso ko.

Hindi lang kita kababata at kapamilya,
Ikaw ang ugat sa puso ko at dugo ko na palagi kang nasa puso ko.

Kung ano man ang nararamdaman at feelings ko sayo noon hanggang don nalang yon
Hindi ko na ninais pa na lumubos sa pag mamahal na gusto **** ibigay at gusto ko maangkin.

Kalimutan ko man ang pag tingin ko sayo habang buhay
Ito ng nakatago sa nakaraan ay tinalikuran ko.

Kahit paulit ulit man akong multuhin ng nakaraan kong puso pero ang pagmamahal na gusto kong mangyari ay hanggang doon nalang.
Wala ng iba.

gusto na kita maging masaya.
Masaya na akong may mahal ka ng iba.

Uhaw man ako sa pagmamahal pero
Ayaw ko ng masaktan at pilitin pa ang puso ko sa mga nakaw na saglit upang lumigaya kasama ka ngunit kinabukasan masasaktan lang din ako dahil maiiwan parin ako mag isa at hindi ka na kasama.

Oo dapat kitang balikan pero hindi ko na kaya.
Please huwag mo ng ipaalala sakin.
Wala na ang lahat, iba na ngayon.
Ipahinga na natin ang lahat ng nakaraan.
Ipahinga mo na ang puso ko sa pagibig.

Alam ko mahal mo parin ako pero hindi mo na din kaya pa.
Mahal parin naman kita ngunit hindi na tulad ng dati.

Mahal kita kahit may mali sa aking nadarama,
kahit masakit man na masaktan kita
ngunit nilagay ko na yon sa tamang lugar
dahil mahal kita,
dahil mahal mo ako yon ang iginanti ko sayo.

Tamang pagmamahal ang pinili ko hindi ang bawal na pag ibig.