She said,
"I've never loved spending so much time
with someone other than myself."

I'm the filler between the drunk
& the high.
You're the in-between of the hello
& goodbye.
But what do all the bookend times mean?

Based on my current understanding of my current understanding, I don't understand much at all.

I have words that could pour for days.
But will I ever learn to use a semicolon?

Because there's nothing else we could ever be with certainty.

It's hard to be sure when you're so certainly uncertain.
You are my heart.
I am an afterthought.
I kid myself again.
It'll hurt,
but at least I have good intensions?

I just called to wish you a happy birthday
sober feelings poured out in the form of drunken words
you told me you had a girl who was
in love with you
I told you to give it a shot
love can be real sometimes
she's just a friend
you said
and so am I
I threw up and went to bed

I said,
"I love you."
He said,
"You're sweet."

I'm about as certain as I am tall
On how people decipher lovely distractions from lovely investments
I hate to speak on what I don't know
I walk up walls to avoid vomiting words my mind holds
The same ***** will end up being slurred to someone who couldn't care less
The same ***** will end up on my socks if this turns into the kind of night I thought that it would be when I declared, "I see how this night is gonna go" as soon as those shots made it down my throat and I still felt indifferent. Just more blurred.
I never say things are finished because that must mean they're good enough and that just seems wrong to me
We're never strangers after we've met
Just encounters that have lost touch
I hate giving up because that must mean I've given it all I've got
I think that keeps me passing time lately
Instead of spending it.
I hear that incomplete things often end up alone
I should probably consider a good investment sometime.

It’s as if the room is in shock
Filled with minds that spoke
and pipe dream feelings
I’d rather be in the dark than expecting and needing
I’ll say I love you today
And I’ll miss you tomorrow
But bring your words back to your lips,
chew, and swallow.

is that how you feel?
this is how you're feeling? And you tell me your mind is reeling and you can't keep your head straight
and that's why you need to be *******
and I could never mean more to you I couldn't mean a thing to you
my addiction keeps getting fed from every word you ever said
and you say you know you say you know me
so if you know me why would you hurt me and why do you keep me seizing
grasping
clutching for something that's not even there
you care
you say you care you want me to share why I get so angry why I get so frustrated
why I get SO ******* FED UP
your words I hold onto
and the words you never say
and you'll never say because you're not in the mood
you're never in the mood to open yourself up
to me
you say you know me
you say you know me better than I know me
MY GOD you
**** ME
OFF
and claw at my mind with your words that I find so alluring
and I find you so alluring
and you're beautiful
and that mind
your mind
**** your mind
and you ****** me with your mind
and ideas
and plans
and then you use your hands

and I'm caught again.

I have something good.
I have something to lose.
I'm afraid to put it into words.
If it crumbles, I'll reread the words
over
and over
and over again.

My infatuation has turned to suffocation.
A year in the making is running me down.
My craving for another human's attention
is disgusting inspiration.
I surrender the game.

Well played.

the fall will always make you fall
back down to where you were
the night you tripped up on the street
****** up your lip, and ripped a sleeve
scraped up knees and drunken slurs
you said some words you didn’t mean to mean
fall will always make you fall to where you were last year

Moats and boats and broken bones
Heart attacks and nights alone
These are a few of my favorite things
When you take out the ones I won't mention
And the pipe dreams
Silence
Noise
Whiskey sours
I've been drunk for about an hour
This isn't a poem
It's a jumble of words

someone called to say you died
his voice was soft
but urgent

I’m sorry
but I’m happy for you.

I know I'm not as quiet as I could be when I should be.
But thoughts are just perpetual graves dug over and over.
That seems a bit redundant,
but so is this thought.

you say  
love never
pried
so much

i say
love never
knew you
enough

I left my heart
Where I left your letter
In the pocket
Of my sweater
I left my heart
Where I left my head
In the corner
Under your bed

****.

my heart beats fast & my hands shake
i should have stayed at home today
i try to escape my own mind
tug at my clothes & count the time
i can't sit still but i can't move
my mascara runs more than i do

I couldn't forget you if I tried
Drunken words and emotional lies
I'll save my heart
And she'll play the fool
Your love isn't real anyway

You’re consumed by attention 

that is not mine. 

You don’t need a bit of me.

"I would drop the world for you,"
He said.
"Come lay with me,"
He said.
"I beg you,"
He said.

"Beg me better."

catching a being(a person more or less)
caught in the in between
pushed to the unknown will devour every devious, dashing, *****, damaged, derogatory thought
in your mind
but then in the end you're nothing more than casual closet acquaintances
and you've come to realize they never really tasted it at all
just fed it to the dog
and you laugh to yourself
you're going to catch one again
but fishing isn't that fun
after the eighteenth time
with nothing to show for it
but another drink
but as they say,
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.

I can’t quite put my finger on it,
Run my tongue across it,
Sink my teeth into it,
But you’re some sort of something else-
And I want to consume your every word
As it spills out of your mouth.
But to try to catch a single thought
Is something in itself.