i think* you want
the best for me,
therefore I am
and will always
try my best for you.

© Matthew Harlovic

Do you know why
Emptiness hurts the most?

It's because it never hurt you.

You feel nothing
And deep down inside
You know you wanna love
And be loved to infinity.

Why do I mention infinity
All of the sudden?
In maths, infinity equals zero.
Zero, or in other words empty.

You'll keep asking yourself
Of this neverending emptiness.
Infinite emptiness.

You know, once a glass
Is decided to hold infinity
Nothing can fill it up.
That's what happens to someone
Who decided on feeling empty
Subconsciously or consciously.

You may have someone
To love you afterwards
But it won't ever feel enough.

At some point
You'll stare into the wall
And wonder why
The glass won't fill itself.

There's a cure for sadness.
There's a cure for loneliness.

But there's no way you can cure
Emptiness.

And of course
Every now and then it hits you
Like a car crash
Like a train-wreck
And you feel yourself choking on the unsaid words
And vomiting up the residue from drunken kisses
Howling at the night sky
While friends tell you "it gets better"
A truth you do not need to hear
Because right now you miss them like a limb
And you're dragging yourself around every day
Trying to make it to some kind of finish line
Some kind of end
Where the pain stops hurting
Where you stop remembering their name
And how you held them and danced with them
And spoke to them about how you wanted them
And now at 3 in the morning
You're lonely and longing
And they're with somebody new
Who probably kisses them the same as you did
And they no longer yearn the touch of your fingertips
No longer crave you like water on a summers day
Because they have them.
They have found someone to hold their aching bones
And you are alone.
But you are not a reflection of those you have lost
And you will be loved by people you have never met
And you are beautiful despite their passing
You are worthy, don't you forget.