And for some reason, I can't make myself prioritize.
So I wind up reading web sites during the time I should be writing, writing while I should be sleeping,
and sleeping while I should be in class.
And making the "smart" list.
And continuing on the same dreaded path I've been on since middle school, when I first realized I could get away with this.

Be Brave and Be Outspoken,

Be Beautiful and Be Wise,

Be Stubborn and Be Heroic,

Be Rebellious and Be Crazy,

Be Strong and Be Kind,

because at the end of the day,

when all is said and done,

you will have no regrets.

Don't be fooled by my ability to resist,
I might have never gave into the monster,
but I always gave it a dance.

If her beauty was on the outside, maybe then she would be heard
If only someone would pause and truly observe
If only he rolled up his sleaves, his cuts would reveal all
If only they noticed, before more would fall
If only teens werent mocked for mental illness
If only this world wanted to notice
They would see shades not only of black and grey
But vibrant colors bleeding, bruised and begging for justice

Let your heart soar to heights so frightening,
When you find logic restricting and tightning
To not let your mind argue your dreams, but wonder among beautiful possibilities
Let your legs carry you through testing storms
And your soul have faith when you feel torn
Let the bitterness fall, your happiness bloom
All of this I wish for you

You,
Quiet my demons, don't tell me how, I'm scared it's a magic trick
That with rumbling laughter you'll shout "And alakazam you're fixed"
And my demons will slide sickening claws against my chest, unimpressed and wanting revenge....
Against me
"Stupid girl" they say "Trusting so easily"
I hold on to the hope, it's not a trick but something my body is drawn to
To be truthful, around you its hard to keep defences up, my walls crumble in defeat
Your eyes seek out the trust left in me,
And I beg no eyes, don't reveal all and make me weak
Because what if this could all be a mere magic trick
"Ladies and gentleman.... and THAT is how quickly I can get a woman to open up to me"

Youve nailed that verbal foreplay,
Each I love you said with beautiful honestly leaves me with tingles
And you have my body shivering with the words, you are my everything

Let me hold your heart within my hands
I crave every inch of ******, beating, scarred and wounded
I want this beautiful instrument of life, to sing it's sweet melancholy melody
To convey how cruel this life can be
I will absorb your painful memories, let you feel freedom which may taste bitter at first
So unload your hurt, I cannot take it from you
But promise to stand by your side, until you do

She falters
You stumble
She whispers
You rumble
Under covers they tumble
Attempting to repair love with false pretenses and broken promises

He held a shaking gun towards me
And I laughed maniacally
Silly lover, don't you see?
You have already burned holes within me, Done much more damage internally
Than that silly gun could ever do