You said you love me,
And I love you just as much.

As I have woken from my deep slumber,
I thought of the times we were together.
Those days in which we enjoyed each other
and the thought that it would last forever.
My eyes blinked and shed a tear,
For days had passed and it is clear
that in reality I’d never hear
the words that echoed in my heart so dear.
I shouldn’t have listened to their silly dare
So I wouldn't have fallen to your sweet stare
Now the pain that I feel,  I couldn’t bear
Everything is just so unfair.

As I scroll down and type
the letters of your name on my phone,
I try my best to press the “call” button
to reach you,
because I badly want to hear a word from you,
blood starts to clot into my narrowed arteries,
possessing all the movements
that I am able to do,
and I stop.

My body dies.

As I sit and wait for you on this wooden chair
that is meant to be shared by two,
time passes by in front of me.
I see the leaves start to wither,
and the ice start to melt,
and the sun turn into golden orange.
I think of you and how much I miss you,
and then I realize,
it has been a very long time
yet until now,
I can’t think of any other more.

My mind dies.

As I try to reach out for you in the dark,
I quietly hold back the words
that can’t be said.
and contain the emotions
that are not meant to be felt,
then I hear the beating of my heart
screaming out your name in silence.
Slowly, I froze.

My heart dies.

As I hear the monotonous sound
of the water flowing from the faucet
which I tried so hard to turn off,
I breathlessly ache for your touch,
and in my mind I feel you,
and it send shivers down to my spine.
Then I know.

My senses die.

As my eyes roll over
to search for your presence,
all I can see is you,
your every detail in every image
of every person I meet,
your smile, your lips, your eyes, your laugh,
and even your smell.
I try to wrap my arms around me,
embracing all the flesh I could
to console the death of my soul,
but still,  everything else inside me

die.

he came home one night
soaked with blood,
tears dripping from his eyes,
catching up his breath.

he looked right into my eyes
and I saw the fear
that has long kept him
in imprisonment

he took the blame
and the penalty
is death.

You didn’t touch the match
but you ignited a flame.
And it burned me severely.
Like I was a thin sheet of paper

How funny things can be,
I said I don’t like you,
and never will I like you.
I didn’t know I could be hilarious.

I’d love to spend an hour with you
or maybe the rest of my life.
We’ll turn grey into colors
and every single single day will be as beautiful.

I know this sounds dreamy
and full of miserable delusions.
For in reality, we are not perfect.
But dear, please lend me your ears and hear this:

Maybe most of the time we quarrel
and even curse each other to death.
But all I want is to be with you,
nobody else but you.

Whenever I look at the sky,
I’m filled with thoughts
of what could have been.

Maybe,
just maybe,
everything that could have been,
have existed,
beyond those clouds.

And I wonder.

"Go to sleep"
I say to my tired soul,
but it woldn't,
becuse it is lost,
and it has to find
it's way back home
before the clock
turn 12 midnight,
or else,
she will remain stuck
to broken promises
and solitude.

You asked the wind to take it all away
To lock it in a box in a place far, far away
Because you’ve been tired and you need to rest
It’s been a while and you need to forget


You gnash your teeth each time you remember
The picture of you and him together
Holding a tea cup on a cold winter weather
Sitting like babies wrapped the arms of one another


Things are different now you thought
As you roll your eyes for things you now loath
Which you thought before was cute
But now you just want to puke


Like how much you loved the smell of his minty breath
Pressing against the strand of your nostrils
It felt so good, you wish you could tilt your head up
To steal a million kisses in his forehead


Also, the way his skin touched yours
It felt like burning alive into ashes
But it felt perfect, like your breath is being taken away
Like something big is happening inside your flesh


Also, those times when you’ve gone mad and crazy
Because he just won’t stop being busy
And you wish you could just focus on your study
Or be indulged in book to quit being *****


The most painful part though is that you are hunted
By what could have been and what could have happened
If you were a little bit more patient and understanding
To accept his shortcomings and explanations


But now you know that there is nothing perfect in this world
That you will get happy, sad, mad, and sometimes bored
That it is normal for people to be normal
That there will be winter, summer, spring and fall
And life will be life, take it or leave it


You learned your lessons and now you know
So you ask to trade with the wind all those things you sow
And start to wish for warmer, brighter tomorrow
Maybe, with someone who will wash away the sorrow.

Something in the wind tells me
that the flowers will bloom today
but will die tomorrow
because the night feeds it
with grief and sorrow.

Fingers has touched my body
like a feather beneath my flesh.
and my skin started to hurt.
the inside of my bones started to hurt.
and I can’t soothe it
because it was very familiar,
and I knew,
it was your hand.

You came like a thief of the night
stealing all the laughter
buried in my stomach.
and i forgot how to laugh,
how to breath,
and even smile.
whenever i try to stand,
my knees crumbles
making me a limp
each time I try to step forward.
and i can’t fix it.
i cant fix the life you’ve destroyed.
no more laughter's,
no more smiles,
no more fresh water.
all are salty,
too much salty.
they all flow out from my eyes,
like a water fall.
and i can only watch it flow,
i can only watch it flow.
because it won’t stop.

I saw you this morning.
You were moving so fast.
Can’t seem to loosen my grip
On the past.
And I miss you so much.
There’s no one in sight.
And we’re still making love
In my secret life.

I smile when I’m angry.
I cheat and I lie.
I do what I have to do
To get by.
But I know what is wrong,
And I know what is right.
And I’d die for the truth
In my secret life.

If you miss me
You know my number
I miss you too.