This is a beautiful "Barry Hodges" poem.*

Ah, sweet memories of that night in Blarney
In the stout-soaked suburbs of ould Cork City.
How clearly through the mist of alcoholic memory
I recall how we all piled out of Johnny's bar at closing time
****** as a load of proverbial ******* newts;
'Where to now me boys, which bar's still open?'
Shrieked spiflicated Sean O'Shannon
(that's notorious sixteen pints an hour Sean,
the man who won Strictly Come Boozing twice)
As he tottered over to his Pa's new BMW convertible,
Lucky ****** that he is to be son to a Fianna Fáil MEP,
And one not adverse to trousering a Euro or two.

'Sean, me oul' potato, de ye think ye should be driving
With that record-breakin' skinful o' stout
I just seen you put away down your greasy gullet,
Not to mention the quadruple whiskey chaser?'
Enquired loopy Liam O'Lephrechaun as he leaned over
And puked up another gallon of warmish Guinness
Over yours truly as I rolled helplessly in the Ballygrohan road
To the amusement of the gawping bystanders,
Bearing in mind there were a good dozen gobbets
Of half-digested pork scratchings in the froth
Which was causing havoc with my apparel.

So without another feckin' word being spoken
My dear drinking companions and ***** buddies
Left me prostrate and clambered gaily into the waiting car
And roared off into the enchanted Gaelic night;
Singing and smoking themselves silly simultaneously,
So full of the joys of life and the blessed bottle.
And then some ****** stupid American tourist
(doubtless dressed in hideous checked golfing trousers
with a backwards-facing baseball cap on his ugly head,
not to forget his overweight wifey crammed into the front seat
just like a huge white bloated fat-faced hippo),
Came round the next corner in a clapped out rental car
And the two of them got sent to Kingdom-sodding-Come
With a terrible metallic crash which destroyed them completely.

'Oh begorrah and *******, would ye just look at the mess
The feckin eejit's made of me Daddy's Beemer,
And it's his pride and joy so it is to be sure!'
Cried Sean O'Shannon in an alcoholic rage,
As he contemplated the largest insurance claim
In the County Cork for the past six decades,
(at least the largest legitimate one anyway).
Whilst I was trying to get my hipster pants down
To avoid filling them up with beery diarrhoea
Brought on by my involuntary bursts of joyous mirth,
(bejasus, 'twas the second time in the space of a single week
and my new girlfriend was getting a bit fussy about hygiene
bearing in mind she was thinking of taking the veil).

How fortunate old Father Tucker and Garda Sergeant O'Toole
Could both (when they'd sobered up sufficiently)
Testify later from their secure vantage point
In the rear compartment of a nearby parked hearse,
(where they were having a ******* with Deidre,
the filthiest wee **** in the whole South-Western counties)
That the accident was not dear Sean's fault at all, to be sure,
As the other stupid sober yankee ****** was driving at 75
On the wrong friggin' side of the ******' street
Or probably in the middle, come to think of it.
'Sure but Sean's the best driver this side of the Blarney Stone,
And there's no way himself would ever drive under the influence'*
They agreed sagely before going off for another jar or two
And maybe a double knee-trembler with Deidre's fat sister,
One up each of her gaping hair-rimmed orifices.

Pennarby shaft is dark and steep,
Eight foot wide, eight hundred deep.
Stout the bucket and tough the cord,
Strong as the arm of Winchman Ford.
'Never look down!
Stick to the line!'
That was the saying at Pennarby mine.

A stranger came to Pennarby shaft.
Lord, to see how the miners laughed!
White in the collar and stiff in the hat,
With his patent boots and his silk cravat,
Picking his way,
Dainty and fine,
Stepping on tiptoe to Pennarby mine.

Touring from London, so he said.
Was it copper they dug for? or gold? or lead?
Where did they find it? How did it come?
If he tried with a shovel might he get some?
Stooping so much
Was bad for the spine;
And wasn't it warmish in Pennarby mine?

'Twas like two worlds that met that day--
The world of work and the world of play;
And the grimy lads from the reeking shaft
Nudged each other and grinned and chaffed.
'Got 'em all out!'
'A cousin of mine!'
So ran the banter at Pennarby mine.

And Carnbrae Bob, the Pennarby wit,
Told him the facts about the pit:
How they bored the shaft till the brimstone smell
Warned them off from tapping -- well,
He wouldn't say what,
But they took it as sign
To dig no deeper in Pennarby mine.

Then leaning over and peering in,
He was pointing out what he said was tin
In the ten-foot lode -- a crash! a jar!
A grasping hand and a splintered bar.
Gone in his strength,
With the lips that laughed--
Oh, the pale faces round Pennarby shaft!

Far down on a narrow ledge,
They saw him cling to the crumbling edge.
'Wait for the bucket! Hi, man! Stay!
That rope ain't safe! It's worn away!
He's taking his chance,
Slack out the line!
Sweet Lord be with him! 'cried Pennarby mine.

'He's got him! He has him! Pull with a will!
Thank God! He's over and breathing still.
And he -- Lord's sakes now! What's that? Well!
Blowed if it ain't our London swell.
Your heart is right
If your coat is fine:
Give us your hand! 'cried Pennarby mine.

Drop the R
Reduce rotation
Ravage rampant, roaring nation
Render, rant and recollect
Rediscover, reconnect
Relish rage, rebuke religion
Go outside and kiss a pigeon
Crave, caress, address, remember
Tease the thrill with tender temper
Truth be told, free faith be followed
Warmish waffles weanly wallowed.

Broke my tongue just reading this
Frankly, go outside and kiss.

October 2013

Another silent homeward
walk across the Orange Street
                                          bridge
and I wish someone were walking with me.
                               These nights grow long,
                               and the days keep blurring.
My hurried steps wander over seams
of the self I have stitched
                     together from the pieces
of the last few years and the friends I've made.
                     And I'll defend my route
                     until the curtain drops
                                                       again.
                     Awash in quiet, I wait in the wings.

Cast my eyes North and East.
Spring breeze half-waves and passes too quickly.
Cast dice and hard clenched teeth.
Losing bets and snake-eyed bitter apologies.

Now it's a warmish Wednesday
night. I swallow hard. Just
                                        then
turned a bend and halted in my footsteps.
                                these thoughts reach back.
                                Your face at my fingers.
Scars from a car wreck when you were young.
I know they always made
                     you feel kinda self-conscious.
I really liked them. Did I tell you that?
                      It's a moot point, sure,
                      but that shot still smarts.
                                                      Aga­in,
                      feeling like the awkward Oxford Comma.
Showed up late to the party.
Just a mark too far...
                     ...sentenced to revise.

Cast my eyes North and East.
It's gotten late. Guess I should keep walking.
Drink down this history,
losing bets and snake-eyed bitter apologies.

Cast my thoughts North and East,
and I wish that you were walking with me.

He slapped her
Hard
She lay on the Dirt floor until she heard His footsteps disappear
into the Safety of their bedroom.

She looked up at Her yellowbrown walls.
“I should really repaint them”
They reminded her of Summer
and she hated Summer.

She wanted to cry,
but didn’t.
She wanted to call Them,
but couldn’t.

After all, this was only His First time
She climbed into their yellowbrown bed
which matched the yellowbrown walls
and yellowbrown fridge
which was specifically color coordinated with
the yellowbrown drapes that she had Loved so much.
She fell a sleep,
her warmish body pressed against His.
His being as hot as Summer.
She hated Summer.

She Loved him.
He Loved her.

He a pologized.

She thought it would Never happen a gain.
Never A nother time.
A nother cycle.
Repetition
  Repetition
   REPETITION
Over and over and over and over and over and over and over A gain.

She began to flood her river onto her too pink Cheeks
Slowly Choking to Death on her own
Self pity and Shame
And all he could do was grant her a hug of Darkness
as she quietly Drowned
After all, this was only his Ninth time.

She still hated Summer

And she still Loved him
He Loved her.

She fingered her bruises
like a well cherished Friend.
Gingerly
Carefully
Lovingly

She refused to buy him another Beer.
She thought he might Stop.
He didn’t.
He Con tinued
To De stroy
PERFECTION

They reported His Death.
She stood in front of grayblack coffin,
Her river Flowed faster and faster down
her emaciated Cheeks and onto His tombstone.
Faster and faster still
until she had to break the cool, cold surface
just to Find her own Humanity.

She still Loved him.
He must still Love her.

Her Mind began to drift.
Is there a God?
A man maybe,
with a long beard and a Wise and Kind face.
She had seen Him on TV.
Some kind of Religious channel about the story of Jesus.
She thought she would
Like to be like Jesus.

She made sure the rope was Tight.
The chair was just tall Enough to reach
with the Ends of her toes. She privately smiled
That Smile to herself.
As if she were sharing a Private joke.
And she was the Only one
who really knew the punch line.
The yellowbrown room was Hot.
As Hot as Summer.
She hated Summer.

She Jumped.
The rope was Tight.
It didn’t take long.
She was just trying to get to that Better place.
The Place where a TV God
with a long beard and a Kind face
would welcome her with the sharpness of a knife.
A Place where there was no Shame,
no yellowbrown fridge
that was carefully color coordinated
with the yellowbrown drapes,
no Summer,
no Private jokes,
no Imperfections,
and no Rivers.

A place of Peace.
Where there were no other bluepurplegray galaxies in the Universe
other than Him and Her.

Because she Loved him.
He Loved Her.

It’s very nice in Heaven
     Very gentle underfoot,
     God’s temple is so icy calm
     And that’s conservatively put.

     There’s three flags at the gateway
     They’re there to set the pace,
     Hebrew blue and Moslem green
     Under Christ’s bewhiskered face.

     Hindu’s have got a leg in
     And Zen for Zen’s sake’s there,
     But the Proddies and the Catliks
     Are in dispute as to what is fair.

     Amazing how they bicker,
     The Proddies and the Micks
     You’d think in time they’d sort it out
     Take the Irish…Silly ******!

     Getting back to Heaven…
     The golden pathways there
     With avenues of crystal gems
     To welcome you upstairs.

     And high above a shining light
     Burning in the sky,
     Which symbolizes passion,
     I suppose, or pigs that fly?

    This symbolic high Heaven stuff
     Is very hard to read,
     It could be ornamental
     Or perhaps, exactly what you need.

     One thing’s very certain though,
     When you glide into this place,
     It pays to have a solemn look
     Of seriousness on your face.

     They don’t like silly buggers
     Who joke and act the fool,
     Commitment is the keyword
     And the Bible is the tool.

     Confusing when you get there
     You’re read the riot act
     And threatened with damnation
     If with the Devil you’ve made a pact.

     The heavy condemnation
     The steely searching eye
     And then the tome of absolution
     Because He loves you, so must I ?

     So think upon it brother
     If you think you cut the cloth,
     Then walk right up and wing it
     With the Angels, like a moth.

     But should you have your doubts
     I suggest a quickish about face
     And leg it with the villains
     To that other warmish place.


Marshalg
@theGate
Mangere Bridge
28 April 2009

I thought about how, if I were
able to enter other people's minds,
that the world would seem to take
on different hues of experience; dark,
bright, gentle, sharp, doomy, gloomy,
fuzzy, scary, warm, cold, a warmish
coldish synthesis diving between a
freezing.. naked.. sorry slugger on
a dimly lit island in the dead center of
the ocean thinking of how black and
desolate a place the world is only because
the potential for cold pangs of death wish
are there at all (whatta shock!) whilst he's
passed a blanket by a friendly nowhere pedestrian
and all of a sudden with the help of some agency
in the cold night, he is warm with the freeze only
nipping at exposed heels and neck and nose and
face.

sitting empty, expecting nature to clothe him, he
forgot that nature includes his ability to sew quilts..
adorn himself in developed fur.. accept help from the
endless parade of nowhere pedestrians eyeing with
worry, compassion.. that this concern is as intrinsic
to universe as empty breathless space and biting,
flatulent wind..

The raindrops are the alarm to our sleeping souls

But worry not, for my heart is the shelter for both of us

We're safe and sound within these warmish walls

Sleeping beauty, mindless of the worldly fuss

Spacious splendour trapped in an airless cage
my mind bends in the undercurrents of rage
What was it I last heard spoken in the fragments of peace
Jason escapes the Argonauts-The Fleece?

Draped across his shoulders still dripping warmish blood
Noah and his cranky yacht-floating in the flood
Did Jesus really turn the loaves and fishes into food
Or did he mesmerise the masses to make it sound so good?

The 'whispers' that I speak of are outside human thought
Like pearls so locked in shells that divers bravely fought
Once it breaks the surface, the bargaining then begins
Vanity a thirst, unable to conquer sins

These whispers that I speak of, are quiet in a storm
They won't support the Thunder or any peaceful calm
They are just words so placed in har-mony
They may mean so little-but more than you can see!
Author Notes

Yeah. That's it. All symbolism encased in oyster shells. You have to dig deep to find out what I mean? If you do find out, write me a comment. Its okay if its a nasty one. I'm used to brickbats. Evolutionary processes have made me develop a thick skin! Thanks

© Marshall Gass. All rights reserved, a month ago

What's a slippery sorrow
I asked his memory
Thinking fast he took my past
And gave it back to me

I couldn't think
I couldn't speak
Just clutch my treasures
Warmish peak

He looked a little wretched
But I did not suspect
Picking hard and fast I found
His personality prospect

What little words I said to him
Were sewn into my face
And every time I smile they're there
Confusing musings lost in space

I'm happy so, I'm happy so
Though words are poor projectors
Sorry for this muddle mate
I'm simple simple simple simple

I entered school at Blaisdon Hall,
when everybody seemed so tall:
but when I finished being taught,
all my chums in height were short.

The invention of a former cook,
fed the progress of my build and look,
along with spuds - best of Stud Farm crop,
and regular pudding known as "FLOP"

Wilfred Higginbotham was his name:
t'was from Manchester that he came.
Before him the chef was Mr. Higgins:
toupee-topped, nicknamed “Wiggins.”

Very wobbly on a pushbike:
Wilfred was (as they say today) "like"
sort of fat.  Yet, tha' knows
very light upon his toes.

If in the mood and no kerfuffle,
he'd do a lively soft shoe shuffle.
Opera trained - Wilfred was a singer:
for a famous Welsh tenor a dead ringer...

By the serving hatch, his apron gravy stained,
melodious, cheerful, unrestrained
he'd make the pots and kettles ring
as from the repertoire he'd gaily sing..

....selections de La Traviatta, La Boheme,
in his opinion "la crème de la crème"
and other classic arias with aplomb
in the style of Harry Secombe.

Now Wilfred’s "FLOP" a sort of madeira cake:
from the kitchen hatch the server would take
a warmish, deep presenting tray,
where puffed up inviting, there it lay.

Father "Bulldog" Wilson then would cut a slice,
take a bite - declare it “Nice!”
Alas! his knife released the air,
that wily Wilf had mixed in there.

Like a balloon pricked by a pin,
silently within the cooling tin
the cake collapsed. What a ****!
Wilf (t'was said) had used a stirrup pump.

Wilfred - as a baker- didn't cut the mustard,
but he was a dab hand when it came to custard!
A portion of his added magic yellow liquor
made the deflated "Flop!" taste thicker.

What was served up, had a fleeting taste
and was scoffed down in a fitful haste,
thus pleased I am to here relate,
not a trace of "FLOP!" was left upon the plate.

Whatever came of Wilf, I'll never know:
back up North, to ailing mum he had to go.
But still his pudding can invoke
such sensual sentiments all beyond a joke.

Early on in life Marcel Proust's nibbled madelaine,
a lifetime later, when dipped in tea,
and tasted once again, had power to regain
lost time and illuminate his memory.

So it is with me and as I thought
of cher Marcel, an evocative poem was wrought:
"FLOP"!" inspires the 1950s when I recall,
those schoolboy meals in Blaisdon Hall.

TOBIAS

Two minute warning
to alert me
that the train'll soon
be in

that's all I want
advisories to advise me
that the wait won't be overly
lengthy.

But it all takes time
taking the longer view
going home on the central line
and
that's just how it goes,

only God and southern electric
knows why.

It's warmish
I'm peckish
a glass of cold beer
and
a ploughmans lunch
would be good
not that I'd take a ploughman
from his lunch,
we've all got to eat.

One day I think they may
succeed
in reloading Tuesday and
make us work twice as long
I hope that I'm wrong
but
I might not be.

After a quiet couple of showers,
nature looks calmer, refreshed
more beautiful than before
With every creature
waiting for someone,
surely their regular guest
the warmish Sun!
which eventually born
from beneath the mountains,
illuminating the dark sky,
ready for its routine run.

The very silence of the dawn
slowly breaks,
by the whistling noise of
insects and snakes.
The pure water,
still stagnate on the earth crust,
the grasses seem to rejoice
at quenching their thirst.

Slowly, the very first rays fall on the greens
and thatched roof shelter,
the aroma of wet ground
fills the air
scenting every corner.

The bell is heard ringing,
symbolizing the aged
at the temple door,
the heavy bell,
which remained wet, all night
enables it to sound more.

Listen to the cheerful chirping
of the ever joyful birds,
leaving their nests,
flattering their purified wings,
flying troughs and crests.

And as the sand slips down,
men are seen,
heading towards the fields,
with full of vitality and enthusiasm,
to grow the future,
sowing present seeds.