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Lama 4d
there was so much I wanted to know about you
so much I wanted to hear from you
so much I wanted to discover with you
and so much love I wanted to give you

but timing wasn’t quite the helper
it destroyed the grounds we made

if I loved you a little lesser
maybe you’d have stayed

to overcome my bitter
I begged for your image to fade

and hating you wasn’t simple
since loving you opened my cage

I know you feel it too
so open my violet letter
and even though we won’t be together
it was sincere what we lived through
Lama Jun 7
you left me dealing with a mess you caused
twenty something reached the peak
your excuses may have not made sense
I understood each word I did not hear

what we will have may not seem ideal
because you stormed off one day
how could anything be
like you used to see
intertwined with new nightmares
I forgot how it used to be

I would like to remember it nicely
but the shadows prison me rightfully
I made a pact with the dark
if my heart is ever leaning
towards what once hurt me
lived within me to love me
then went discarding me
then I would not know peace

take all of me politely
and let the ghosts who knew her
feast on me
indefinitely
Lama Jun 1
we were young
we had little time, boy
meeting through windows
showing me your new toy
I thought it was cool
did I tell you that?

I told you to come over
after the sun sets
you knocked my door
fireworks filled the bag you held

we snuck to the rooftop
we sparked up the sky
I knew I loved you then
I wish I told you that

every week we go see the animals
you tell me facts I have heard before
you grab my hand to get snacks
and we walk until our feet get sore

I remember hanging out in your room
colorful was your floor extruding gloom
we were playing and sipping juice
the taste of it in my mouth froze

we had so many memories
I’m not sure if you still remember me
I would never trade anything we had
I wish you were here to tell you that
Lama May 16
sitting in that corner again
when I opened my heart to you
asking you to be my one and only
how gracious must I have thought of you
you said you were waiting for this moment
you said you were yearning for months
how stupid must I have felt
to be clueless of your love
now I don’t even know
if your love was true to me
I was trapped, compelled and owned
but you were nice to me
I needed to run from a chaos at home
your shelter gave me what I sought
for a moment I thought you saved me
but you dragged me into another mess
I didn’t get to feel your touch
but your fleeing hurt as much
when I thought it’d take another month
for us to meet and feel ourselves
maybe it was for the good
for us to have never met
yet you left me a beautiful mess
Lama May 9
fatefully inclined
clinically parched
of receiving love
deceptively lied
to protect my heart
logically engraved
emotions to blame
my darkened eyes
when losing sight
how could I
mend my spine
for a soul
that’s not mine
Lama Apr 7
if anything, it will make you ill
to dream of recurring realities.
incapable of sleeping,
you wished for immortality.
beating up a damaged seeker
to detain a remorseful show,
but the golden chains
will only make the past
an elegant foe.
nested with tears on your palm,
enough to irrigate unheard roads.
stepped on with nowhere to be,
reluctant futures you sought.
but if anything, you will float with pride
carrying an unborn love, seas ahead.
if heart is a white feathered kite,
then life is yours, marvelous kid.
Lama Mar 29
we were too similar
we lost ourselves
pulling my feet down
a lost leaf burrowed
silent interactions
strangers’ tunes
taught us love
even fires swooned
what was lost in october
came back gently in march

full moons
blossomed fears
started a fight
to make you mine
do my eyes remind you
of pearls you kept as a kid
does my laugh ring in your head
sowing memories to come alive
ripe those words you steal me by
call me yours even if you can’t
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