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Edna Sweetlove May 2015
A Tale of ****** Excitement by Herr Barty Maulwurf

Often **** tales of my past I am writing and sometimes they are a little rude and porny but now I will try to be only slightly profane at request of new friends I am making everywhere. This tale very sensual story is, told by master storyteller (which is me). Filthy bits included. *Danke sehr.


Although I so much hate repetitive to be, Barty Mole must as always apologise for his occasionally slight errors in English-writing as he writes the English language not so very top-class (but he ***** English girls' tongues lots and likes them his tonsils to wipe so good). I (me, Barty) am German person but special type of that because as I are half-and-half black/white (not striped or even top half white, bottom half black, but mixed-up goldene-brun colouring), by this I must explain mein Papa was black US soldier in Germany who did enormous number of bouncy-bouncies with various ladies including meine Mutti (note to monoglots: this means my Mummy) - who was part-time Lili Marlen type tarty number, great **** and much-used **** - for tinned milk, coffee, ciggies, silk stockings and comfy underwear with soft non-scratchy gussets for once instead of unlined which tickle *****-*****, also she was a major sort of a ****** in her day so combined business with pleasure, and why not, we got these bits under our ******* so use them or they dry up (so thinks der Barty.). Also please you will remember black market utterly rampant in post-war period because the kind ****** Allies smashed my beautiful homeland (Germany) to little bits and then guess what even worse Russkies came and stole anything leftovers and did mass rapings of anyone with two legs (or less, in fact easier as poor tarts can't run away), but my Mutti ran and avoided Ivans, she not any kind of idiot, not going to give it away for free, and not liking cheap rotgut ***** anyway. Also Russkies never wash bottoms-hole so not much fun in the sack with smelly-bummed Ivans.

Nowadays Barty (that's me) am not so young, indeed now out of work living in Hamburg (home of inventor of hamburgers, Herr Wendi McDonald-Burgerkoenig) but I remember some super **** going-ons from mine mis-spended youth and middle age, my God I was a right goer, make no mistake about that, I had more lady friends than most people have hot luncheons mainly because I inheritated huge lovepole (23 centimetres, well over 9 inches in UK/US measurement style) from my dear Poppa, God rest his swindling soul. And ladies like the big bronzed stick as ramrod lovepole, you bet your fat wobbly ***, dear reader, 100% sure.

As often I say to my multitudinous readers, I never accept that it is only top-class ***-event to make love-humpings between male person who is in all one piece (full complementing legs, arms, naughty pieces etc etc) and lady who in similar state of repair (2 legs, 2 arms, 2 boobos, back and front naughty areas also) so I shall now recall romantic interlude with one-legged groupie I am meeting at rocking Konzert in Berlin with famous German group DIE TOTEN HOSEN (this means "The Dead Trousers" look them up on Google you think I am joking? no, German musicians have great sense of humour and also almost for free get to **** a lot of birds).

This story are total true, swear it on Mummy's honour (big joke, what honour I hear you said out of side of mouth, but watch your manners please or I smash you one in your effing gob) this not so explicit as usual so much apologies to filthy pervies wanting cheap smuttings, you come in wrong place (*******).

So now here we go with telling of how I got on good and ***** with one-legged lady I meet in bar of Grosse Konzerthalle in Berlin after we go from Konzert by Toten Hosen - noise so fickende loud we not able to hear each other talk as we total deafened for at least 1 hour, so just wink over bar to each other and Robert is dein Onkel.

I digressed - when I saw really pretty girl at bar with **** three-inch bolt through her lips and I think, WOW, if she got so much metal in her face, what the Fick she got in her *******!!!!  I notice she leaning against wall, I think she a bit drunk but I find out she only got one leg and it's because she has only one leg she would go falling over if not lean on walls. Never mind, I think to myself, I'll try this out for size, in for a pfenning (penny), in for a pfund (pound), except now it's in for a cent, in for a euro which sounds naffs. So we have several dozen beers and a couple of schnapplis and she is good fun, laugh at all Barty's filthy jokes and innuendos and then, out of blue, she says with naughty giggling, "The night is young but we're not so effing young and when you have any more beers you don't stand up, fall flat on handsome face, and not able to get great big ****** up me to shove it", WOW I thought, this is some forward one-legged piece of work. So no more further ado and we jump in taxi (pay 50:50 as Barty is gent and refuse to allow her pay whole fare) and go to her place.

Hildegard is her name and she was pretty good looking bird, great booboes, narrow very **** waistlines, very cute botty sticking out like great big pair of rubber footballs, but let's be frank, liebe Freunde, her main claim to eternal fame in Barty's immense ***-memory bank was the leg-stump, only one of them she had. She tells me missing limb result of accident with vicious bacon-slicing machineries at LIDL and I not like to probe too deeply, because I leave the probing up to my 23cm (9 inch) lovepole instead.

Thus we had many love-makes that night and I got to find her stumpy-thing quite **** in weird kind of way, very smooth skin on it and odd colour (purplish) too. Only problem of was hard to do it Alsatian-style as she topple off bed and me with her, especially since we have many more beers down hatches by that time. Never mind, make up for this with very high class (FIVE STAR!) "neunundsechzig" (German for 69 just in case you not understand)! WOW she utter hot stuff in oral department store. Her tongue like starving St Bernard guzzling the bowl of nice fresh spring water on hottest summer day in century! Swallow everything, stray hairs and all.

Also Hildegard very noisy lady when she does the comings, which Barty likes very much indeed. Like demented demon being bashed around her head with three-metre long metal crowbar every single time she gets one off, she screamed. "Ooooooh, ich komme, ich komme, ach, ja, ja, ja, ja," she shrieks GOOD & LOUD like fat Wagnerian heroine with immensely red hot poker up backside-hole (which not far off the truth when Barty gets stuck into his fabbo ***-rhythm, like whirring up and down piston on Mitsubishi motor tricycle). Even allowing for drunken prematured senilities lapse, I happy to recall seven times for me that night and maybe twenty for her, WOW, what a filthy one-leg hornbag!

We meet a few more time for repeat bonky session but never so good as first time round, but that's because Barty sober next times, nothing new in the history of love there which is very philophical pensée. Also Barty's interest in the leggy-stump waned a bit after a couple of weeks.  But Barty has good live-action photos to keep his memories warm, WOW, they are some totally hot ones! I know Hildegard must have the equal happy memories of old Barty, bet she never saw such a big ***** as his ever again (NB: 23 cm lovepole)!

Mit freundlichen Gruessen
von Ihre
Bartholomew Mole (=Maulwurf)
(23 cm brown lovepole)
Sam Temple Jun 2014
perfunctory actions
zombie habits
sheep normalcy
blindly following the cud chewers
lemmings fall to their deaths
slowly
genetically engineered crops
dusted with pharmaceutical poison
laced with irradiated petroleum pesticides
fed to the babies of the poor –
wealthy voyeurs eagerly tune-in
as the impoverished masses rot
for viewing pleasure
leisurely strolling across manicured lawns
those in power scoff at the growing spectacle
unaware that the cake is stale
and the masses smell blood –
hurriedly, accountants shuffle tax rates
mix those with interest credit
season it with mortgage fees
and serve it on wall street
place mats
taking stock of stock market gains
gamblers do double gainers off high rises
adding to the flesh being consumed by the under class
under classed –
underclassmen, underpaid, stretch under ware elastic
as waistlines expand with the debt ceiling
both symbolizing the slow decline of
the American dream
screaming into the sewer
fewer eyes look back as disease dulls the iris
loss of the inner shine
glowing reflection of living organisms
fading as the day
slips into the blue-black –
night falls on a nation of imbeciles
brain dead patients
broken by depression and weight-loss scams
hearts crying out for care
personal and compassionate
instead are met with sterile robotics
and sanitary “C” students dressed in white
fearful of lawsuits
and spiders
they prescribe to symptoms
without knowing insurance number 87319A23-S1
is a human being, just like them
also living in fear
of the same establishment –
Edward Coles Feb 2014
Closed eyes
to the fountain of youth,
to higher hopes
and new reality.
I claim spirit,
but give mind,
in fact give all
my scattered self,
in the hope some poor *******
sorts through.

Winter's guise,
I flicker off-white images
of galaxy and twine,
of breath mints and wine,
of sorry dancers
with broken heels,
reinvented wheels,
and augmented rhyme.

Light comes
and I storm it with cold,
I storm it with pens
and whiskey lies.
I storm it with science,
and I storm it with God,
I storm it with the golfers
and playboys,
about to tee-off.
I storm it with hate,
with the promise of pay,
my unrequited love
of Saturday.

And with wind came age,
came the steady hand
and furrowed brow
of sleet-strewn rain
and growing pain.
Of doubt. A bout
of flu,
a touch of death
and funds withdrew.
No more the kiddie
in the window,
aww-ing at sound,
the colour of air,
the steam of kettle,
forgiving snare,
life's poison-treats
and poison-poisons.
Un poisson hors de l'eau,
still - I'll thank you
for your time
and bad French,
old guru.

Still to shift in
this physical prison.
A prism of light,
of partial solidity,
of unending uncertainty;
a multitude misunderstanding itself.
It claims to the borders
and it clings to the bed,
it holds true to thought,
and all the worries
in my troubled head.
They descend,
never end,
in a crescendo,
a caterwaul
of mistreated sound,
dog in the pound,
and waistlines round.

Thigh gaps
and mind-the-gaps,
signposts and brochures
for the short-lived living.
They pester my mind,
interference, crackle,
prattle and rattle
of mediocre wisdoms,
of borrowed idioms
for bulimic bones
and broken homes.
They tailor my mind,
cuts and seams
of needless pleas,
for order in chaos
and blueprints
for blind entries.
All to settle the stomach,
to settle the plot
to settle this fever
that burns so hot.

Old-film stills
to the fountain of youth,
belligerent fist of tears,
for forgotten woes,
for sweaty prose
and swollen leaves.
Yellow birds and
old lime trees,
dear Suzanne
and her poetry,
about thorns in the side
and turning tides
of tambourine men,
and helter-skelter girls
turning empires
of simple love
and worthy sin,
to English tea
and to profit again.

She turns the tide
in a lover's brawl,
in winter's shawl
and Hollywood ball.
Sings Hallelujah
to the wonderful world,
to the shot girl's tips
and crazy catcalls.
To the Pink Moons
and old jazz tunes,
to the orange peel
and plastic sand dunes.
To Parisian men
and Las Vegas girls,
to twirls of meat,
and ballet shoes,
to the smoking student
and his heavy blues,
to the loss of art
in the modern street,
to busker beats
and sausage meats,
of coffee fumes
and white man dreams.

And we're entertained.
Oh boy, we're entertained!
Entertained at a rate of knots,
tangled headphones,
tangled minds,
tangled tales
of truth confined.
Television makes everything real,
it flavours life,
spices the story,
feel, kneel, heal the plight
of the Navy Seal,
invading land,
invading minds,
invading dreams
of love unconfined.
We're entertained
at the point of feeling sick,
of parrot-joy
and marketing intent.

We speak in circles
and we speak in phrase,
we speak in unending drivel,
of quote, motto and haze.
Haze of meaning,
and haze of depth,
of fortressed country
and insoluble debt.
We speak in telephones,
they speak on the bus,
they speak in the ghettos,
the nightclubs,
the churches,
the underpass
and they spill from the gut.
Whilst we torture ourselves
in the new-found freedom,
of living within
and not to the kingdom.

The kingdom of choice,
of self-salvation,
of astral self,
and meditation.
Of origin's tale,
of Earth-life passed,
of intelligence squared,
and foolishness fable.
Of infinity realised,
of time altogether,
of solidity-illusion
and falseness of summer.
Of warmth in the winter,
of red in the sky,
of collective catharsis,
a universal sigh.
A sigh for relief,
and a sign of mercy,
a plea for conception,
a gift for the future,
and humanity's redemption.
BarelyABard Jun 2023
Desire and dreams,
lofty clouds casting distant shadows.
Momentary shades of calm,
convert to blinding flame.
-
Torpid question marks rearrange
exclamation points.
Hues of commas and periods,
vibrant adjectives and adverbs.
Grunts and growls of wildered existence.
Perpetual noise.
Such picturesque nonsense.
-
Belief of charging knights
and moonwalks
decay to disappointed waistlines
shaky hands,
confused with living.

What beautiful strangeness,
the prospect of becoming.
-
Do we chase the shadows or create our own;
flourish roots
with ardent fingers?
Imagine with ferocity
enriching curiosity?
-
Dig deep, my child, and know you're real.
Or don't
We are substance and shadow,
words of florescence.
Or won't
Disheartened by cruelty
unfamiliar reflections,
resigned to naked truth.
Or can't

Do we accept,
or will we refuse?
Inhaling why,
exhaling when.
-
Blooming breaths
Horizons anew
Warmth of sun,
serenity of shade.
First poem I've put on here in years. Enjoy.
kelia Jul 2014
to write a poem without haste
to sew your name into my pillowcase
foolish girls should walk home alone
sleeping in beds too clean to call their own

i’d swoon and dance on the curb where you wait
your head between my wrists, i’ve loved you for days
neon signs paint us purple as we make ****** bets
your words too shallow to pay off your debts

denim waistlines straddling a sad boy in the day
black lace on the floor arranged for the love we made
fall asleep in the passengers seat until noon
never eager to leave me, always leaving too soon
Fel Sep 2014
July 17th 2014 11:49 PM

On the day I was born
I was given the name Felicia
Because my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

By the time I was a toddler
I did not think much of beauty
Nor did I think much of myself
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

When I started school
I started to see beauty.
I thought it meant blonde hair
And pastel coloured skirts
I had neither, but did not think much of it
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

By the time I was in third grade
I saw beauty even more
I saw it in my mother,
My friends and my teachers.
I thought it meant a smaller body
But that, I didn't know or think
Until I found out I was ten pounds lighter than my oldest brother.
He weighed 140. 
I started to really think about beauty
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

By the time I started middle school
Things had really changed
I was not like my peers
I felt unbeautiful and awkward.
I began to loathe myself
I started seeing beauty
In everything but me.
Found fake love once
Forever scarred my heart.
Started developing phobias,
Couldn't be seen with some people
Couldn't let anyone hear me breathe.
I thought way too much of beauty
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

When I was in seventh grade
I thought beauty meant good clothes
Pretty smiles
Fatter wallets
And thinner waistlines
(All of which I had none of)
I thought a lot about beauty
Decided to try something new
One
         Two
                   Three thin slices into my skin
(Found out cutting wasn't really my thing)
I made good friends
Tons of bitter enemies
That all, I felt, were prettier than me
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

When eighth grade rolled around
I knew lots about beauty
But started caring for little of it.
Homelessness had racked my life
I worried more about keeping up with school
And picking up a new instrument
Than worrying about beauty
That I still thought a little about.
I made friends that didn't care either
I decided I can live my life
Ugly, in poverty, fat, and awkward
Although some nights I still did cry
About how I never had a boyfriend 
About how no one ever showed interest in me
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

When I started high scho
Beauty was everywhere I turned
But a developing affair I had
With the lovely marching arts
Took all my worrying and cares
Away from beauty
But not completely.
I thought beauty meant
Shorter shorts
Tanner skin
Straighter hair
And an older age.
I was bullied for being a freshman
And often picks on for being far
I didn't  care much to look at myself in the mirror often
But I outwardly cared much less about  everything
Putting off a persona.
Found better friends
And less bitter enemies
That I thought much be a little prettier than me
Also found some bad friends
That couldve gotten me in trouble
Ones that helped create a nasty habit
Of taking things that weren't mine
I however saw a little beauty in myself
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

Now, when I was a sophomore
I believe I truly found myself.
If  not all, then bits of myself.
I made even greater friends
Maybe even found love
And an ever deepening love for the marching arts.
I thought beauty meant
Great musical skill,
Being a good person,
An having a passion for something greater than yourself.
I  started to find beautiful things in people
That we're sometimes reflected in me.
Does that mean I  started to think I was beautiful?
I guess it does.
But I started to accept myself.
All my strengths
My flaws and my quirks and weaknesses
And I believe that comes along with finding yourself.
However,
Academic life started to slip
I did not care much for it
Did not care much for anything, really
But two things:
Love. And band.
Which both have kept me from
Falling into a deep dark abyss
That both of my siblings have experienced and ensures
One I do not safe fall into.
My nasty habit
Had only deepened
And gotten even more daring.
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

Today
I am fast approaching junior year
I am becoming a young adult
And I see beauty in everything
Myself included
It's amazing
And truly liberating
To feel this way
To not worry
Of what others think of me.
I still have phobias I had developed earlier
I still have the scars where I thought a solution may be found
And I still have a nasty habit
Yet I feel beautiful.
Some days are bad
Most days are good.
I have accepted myself enough
To take a step out of denial
And head toward the truth of change
And still
Through everything
(Although there is much here she does not know about)
My momma thinks I'm beautiful and happy.
Edward Coles Sep 2013
The wicked, they come
In a cerulean dream.
The cellar door opened,
With an opposable thumb.

A disposable past
And no ties in the future,
They live within ******
And die through their caste.

Oh, Ford! They cry out
For all of their blessings.
Oh, Ford! I cry too,
To drown silent doubt.

“Take me to your room.”
She breathes, voice coppered,
She conducts me. Unzips in
One movement, fit to bloom.

“Lenina,” I call,
Eyes blinded by her colour.
In a world so built and grey,
I live only in her sprawl.

We finish, my heart descending.
She nicks her lips to my ear,
Then reminds me thus;
“Ending is better than mending.”

To bed we fall; once, twice, thrice.
Each time I cling longer,
Wrap her in bedsheets,
‘Till she feels our ****** splice.

With no use, she’s gone
To some other embrace.
Some cold shouldered support,
Then to the salon.

She’ll tell all to her friends,
A gaggle of giggles.
And he’ll speak of her,
Like some means to an end.

“Pneumatic,” is she,
He’ll say with no stutter,
“You should have her,” he’ll offer,
Like the fruit from a tree.

No, like meat, like meat,
She is passed around.
Like animals, the Alphas
Bruise, **** and maltreat.

Community. Snake-like,
It moves as if one.
Each person a muscle,
Not separate but a part.

Identity. It blurs,
‘Till I forget the use
Of my name. Push it out,
Repeat in my dreams.

Stability. It comes,
A two-gramme holiday.
A superficial guffaw
That veneers my face.

Oh, Soma! Come take me,
From where I don’t belong.
To where passions are birthed
Far from the hatchery.

To where feelings are heartfelt,
Not found in a pill.
Where waistlines aren’t throttled
By a Malthusian belt.

A savage I am,
In my pursuit for more.
When I long for freedom,
And not another half-gramme.

Gaia, she held us in her womb.
From fish to ape, she mothered too.
Now all that’s left is this soulless gloom
Where man is born only to consume.
Edward Coles Feb 2014
A silence of mind
and vinegar wine,
the shopping precinct
a disembowelled mine.

Bombs stain the mountains
to build a hotel,
for tourists to buy
a wish from the well.

A wish for comfort
and one for new love,
in marital bliss
and skyscapes above.

Escape from their God
of tablets and time,
of substitute taste
for tonic and lime.

Escape from their want
of waistlines and faith,
relief from the haunt
of some childhood wraith.

Travel sets its price
to find your own face,
to find there's no cost,
in finding your place.
©
Edward Coles Aug 2014
She draws black wings to her eyes
in a green-wash reflection, light
cascading through the shutters
of the ceiling fan, whilst red lips
rehearse a smile for her lover.

He will hold her like a wallet as
they pay their way through town.
It has been months since she felt
human touch, mammalian warmth,
or whispers exchanged across the pillow.

His eyes are on the screen as she
undresses and then falls beneath
his weight on the mattress. An empty
thud, a hollow sound, as his night is
given purpose, and then falls to sleep again.

She lies awake and wonders where
her night went. There was laughter
across the table, drinks stirred with straws,
and UFOs painting pictures in the sky.
The sea roared in the distance like

a passing train, and so there must be
an escape to a far-off land for her
to start again. Start again beyond
waistlines, over coastlines, and all ties
to employment. To start again

with a half-naked lover, who will
watch as the wind kicks up her hair;
as her skin freckles once more
in the sun.
c
H Nov 2013
To be petite
thin
dainty
shy
Why does the concept of femininity revolve around being less than a man?

When you keep us worried about our waistlines
you never have to fear us
Excuse me while I insert
This logical probe through the frontal lobe
Of my emotional epicenter

This is a latency test....

Ratings of my muse
Are falling like waistlines at the mall
From the best of rhymes
Tacitly turned on wheels of subtlety,
To the jest of all time,
A lyrical mockumentary,
Starring Miss Pellings
And her first cousin Cliche

Excuse me while I excise
The phobias, limits and lies
Polluting my paradigm of choice,
Diluting the core of my creativity,
Muting the "i" in my voice

This latency test is now complete...

Welcome to my new Literary Bar
Raised beyond the average line;

The stars of our poetic destiny await....

~ P
(#latencytest)
I see no industry but can hear the buzzing of the Captains in decline,
the sign reads,
'work in progress'
I guess that sign is old.
No one told me that the rich would rule the land while bands of beggars roam with hands outstretched,
I guess I would have thought that sounded too far fetched,like some fairy tale being played out in a studio,like three goats gruff being stuffed into the *** and the troll got all the sauce,
of course we must be satisfied by crumbs that fall from fat men and their fatter waistlines but their were times when all this wasn't so.
Equality you know was not a dream although it seems so now,the fatted calf was carved up long ago and served by servants to the masters,greedy *******.
Now the factories have gone,heavy industry that once shone British might and steelworks blinding in the night have disappeared,our future has been mortgaged and our unborn sons are deep in debt,for this we get a bill each year and each year we owe more and more,the door is shut,tomorrow if it comes will find each one of us picking up more and more breadcrumbs which once we fed to garden birds and no words that could be written down or said aloud can make of me an English man feel proud of that.

Can any one of you please put a penny in this old mans hat?
The captains very deftly have packed their trunks and they've all left me in the ruins of today,no job,no pay,tomorrow came and I found out to late that tomorrow is today.
Macstoire May 2014
Wheeling our way around the continent
On an eight wheeled whistlestop tour
We sample cities with bite-sized sightings
But our bites are big because it's our choice to make
Walking in wonder until even wheelchair weakens
And our legs are limp from exploratory ache

And our bites are big because also
We share the same love of sampling food
So we get a daily dose of deliciousness
Healing our hunger with what locals bake
Too much temptation here to watch waistlines
We want to try every traditional taste

And our bites are bigger come tea time
Once we've crossed country again by day
From breakfast we watch out the window
And wander new place on the way
Miles mounting high on the dashboard
On our mission for mobility's sake

And so we've had a big bite of Europe
Big bite and plenty bites each day
These bites are teasing our tastebuds
We want more world at a later stage

Our SMAll Adventure
http://www.oursmalladventure.blogspot.cz/?m=1
16th May 2014
Hallie Bear Sep 2012
I am not supposed
To like waistlines
A dip and fall of a curve
The delicate wind of a collarbone
The shadows of long lashes on high cheekbones
The swirl and snap of a skirt
The inclines and snowslopes of silent skin
Deep creases in secret places
But I do.
And it's the best terror
I've felt in a long time.
What is our reality?
Bulging waistlines and burger joints?
Sweatshops and religious fights?
Our poisoned food system and corporate profits?
Our jailrate is as high as Mao and Stalin.
These revolving doors and corruptions cannot blind us anymore.
We, the people, deserve to know.
People who hate, depreciate.
The fact is, who can we trust?
Certainly not our bankers,
but what about the Chief Executive Officers,
full of evil and greed?
What about Rana Plaza and Tazreen?
Burning bodies to ash.
And they can get away with
burning bodies?
There was the Holocaust
and then...
there was now.
I saw this girl's poem and automatically related to it. Thank you Ellen for letting me use this poem...although I wish you didn't go. :(
Matt Walls Dec 2017
Oh Christmas comes but once a year
Waistlines swell with good food and beer
Mince pies, chocolates, nibbles and nuts
Watch vintage TV, with no 'ifs' and no 'buts'

Wrapping paper deal, 2  rolls for a pound
Sneaky wrapping later, shhh, don't make a sound
Christmas tree needed you know what to do
Get a last minute deal down at Rhyl B & Q

Got the presents sorted, a job that so hard
That sinking feeling from a last minute card
A phone call and text is never too much
A welcome long chat just to keep in touch

Christmas day approaching are all the jobs done?
Eat drink and be merry is the way it should run
But often a snooze can be the best part
That can end with a grunt, a snore or a ****.

Turkey all gone but there are sandwiches still
Three helpings of trifle can make you quite ill
Then cheese and fine biscuits with coffee and cake
Might slow you right down on the After Eights

So off to the sofa  where you sit if you dare
Waistbands all loosened on the reclining chair
A tea or a beer shows who's still in the race
While a quick 40 winks puts a smile on your face

Well there it was done and soon off to bed
You sleep like a log having been so well fed
In the night you are gasping you must have a drink
You make it to the bathroom and drink from the sink

The next day is hellish, there are wrappers gallore
With crisps, cheese and crackers ground into the floor
Red wine in glasses fermenting and mulled
You turn and retreat with your senses quite dulled

So no breakfast needed just a whole lot of quiet
After indulging on what was a plain liquid diet
A quick clean around is a job for us males
As your partner heads out for the Boxing day sales!
Kyla Mae Pliskie Oct 2013
Sunshine does not inspire me. Broken lighting. Broken teeth. An empty shell used for armor and reflection counting the numbers on the circle shapes, ticking away, promising things we cannot comprehend. There's a lesson to be learned and we will inevitably learn nothing. Smooth and salty guidelines wrap my fingers around your jawline. i have seen bliss. I have seen suffering. I choose nothing. I rise above, tapping my fingernails on the closed doors. Begging for an outlet. Hoping for a way out. breathing in the noxious dust that has been settling for years. Attention to the tamed beast: this leash has unwound and all threads have been torn. Round the square and look to the west; a nest intended to be built. So high on filth -- our hands are numb. Flower petals scatter across this walkway, covering the bread crumbs along with any dreams you've left behind. WAS IT ALL IN YOUR MIND? Retract. Repel. I am shallow. Like these puddles i use to stare at my reflection. devouring lessons just to spit **** right back at these textbooks. I have the upper hand, where it can meet your lower jaw. an outstanding applause for such a dull audience. one shot, two shot for some common sense. I am ready to meet your leader! I am ready to stand apart! Breathe new electrons, ******* them into my lungs. They are greedy. The morning fog knows me better than any human being and the thunderstorm that lives inside of me won't stop humming. Along to the bass line. perfect rhythm, sentences separated. I feel the best when I feel nothing.  Taking time out, like middle of the second half....losing, always losing. Always stronger. Bruised waistlines and scraped knees. Your eyes remind me of the best of me. Falling forward into invisible arms that reach out from behind blue curtains. Raised fists and clenched arms - opposing needs of a dying youth. I knew the truth. I tore it apart, brain cell by brain cell. Less to forget. More to be sure. I have these broken wings that serve no purpose but to be adored and envied and misconstrued.
The fillings in love's teeth
House frank words
That love's tongue wraps in plain packaging and seals with simple curiosity.
Love does not treat these things
As gifts given by a god.
Rather, love imagines them as everyday praises given to a god,
Recognizing their simple ness and crafting them into strings of orations to be worn around wrists and waistlines in case you feel that you are not beautiful.
Valerie Feb 2018
women are not beautiful.
they are magnetic, majestic, magnificent,
they are more than doll bodies and ****** eyes,
they are more than what they were born with.

women are not beautiful.
they are effervescent, enigmatic and evergreen,
they are more than paper-thin waistlines and cherry lips,
they are more than what the eyes can look upon.

women are not beautiful.
they are powerful, passionate, and puissant,
they are more than barbie figures and pink hemlines,
they are not beautiful simply because they are more than that.
feminist as hell.
RJ Days Jan 2016
Let's get lost in the grace of forgetting
past mistakes and errors of our foolish youths
and let us live amid the worldly hope
gained from exchanging sentences of solitude
for paragraphs of insight into better days

Let's abandon our halcyon memories along with
our sordid ones eschewing their credits and excesses
and let us eat chocolate cake now while we still
have teeth in our mouths exchanging bites of confection
for those trim waistlines we never really had

Let's play in the fountains like kids without
cares about having kids of our own or owning gardens
and let us plant gardens on fire escapes and in alleys
growing herbs from the soot and exchanging harvests
for wisdom and a proclivity for jigsaw puzzle completion

Let's debate the merits of interstellar politics
without the fuss or nuance of believing we were ever right
and let us pray for our righteous *******
earned by sweat and salt after exchanging fear of rejection
for a fuzzy blanket and a burger on a snowy day

Let's give up on fixing blighted communities drowning
in the pity of their own sacrosanct infirmities
and let us beat our own swords into ploughshares to sell
online if anyone will buy them exchanging broken guns
for cold hard cash that binds better than pectin

Let's sleep all day if we feel like it until
we've slept away all our regrets and fears
and let us awake whenever we **** well please to eat
baconfat and sip bourbon exchanging all the calories
for the lives we've always wanted but never had
Eli Smith Jan 2015
I come from a family of big women
Hips far too wide, tummies far too plump
Spirits way too large to fit into a normal size body.
Or at least that's what we've told ourselves for generations
We heard the comments, seen the stares
Skipped meals
Spent hours in the bathroom erasing any remnants of food from our system when we do eat.
My great grandmother took pride in her weight
She always felt that eating well could solve any heartache.
And most of the time it did.
A woman expanding not contracting
A woman with a beautiful soul and the biggest heart I have ever seen.
My grandmother spent years in the kitchen
Trailing after her mother learning her ways
Picking up old habits her mother would leave behind,
Like spending hours doing good for others,
Wearing sloppy clothes just because you no longer care,
Worrying about things that weren’t artificial,
And loving yourself for who you are.
She learned that the only way to a mans heart for a big woman is through his stomach.
She learned how to cook like a professional and married a thin man at the age of 15.
Was pregnant at sixteen,
And she began to grow out,
Making space in her body for the new life it contained,
She would find soon enough that as soon as you're big you become Harder to love.
And when he left her, she began shrinking,
Slowly trying to let the space around her be consumed by lovers.
My mother, after years of bullying.
Threw away the habits passed down from one generation to the next like second hand clothing and taught me her own.
Diet pills and counting calories are the only way to get a good man.
We find ourselves weaning even when the moon is waxing
Waistlines shrinking ever so slowly
And I know I have a long way to go before I am lovable.
We’ve learned to love the superficial,
Waking up at four AM just to have curled hair, makeup flawlessly applied, clothes always ironed.
We learned that our worth is determined by our waistline not our IQ’s
Our compassion,
Our spirits,
Or our hearts.
Leay Sep 2016
Is it writ In stone

How to act
How to live

How to love
Or passion give

Made a of me a foolish thing
How react
You shagrin

Empty vessel
If not made
To mad
To
Seed
To stupor
Need

So a wink
The slightest nod

Those of pretense
Those of god

Fools aplenty
At I chuckle

While there  waistlines ever buckle

For resource
I find a cure

See the mirror
Face demure


Waist
Away

Waist aplenty

Waste today

So
On forward

Fast and play

Days from now
A day like this

A day of ****

A day of  ****

Or this of bliss
Or ambergris

Take
A chance

Look as i

Cheap is easy

Fight

Or die,

Of a fat ****  heart attack
At the worst possible moment

Like on the John, or anywhere between, our father
And yes I do.

And u swell up to Zeppelin proportions
And explode like some sort of uninvited Mexican party favor.
And the crap ***** just quit and dropped the **** mic.

God I hate everyone.

Poetry
ya.
And free speech
Get off the ******* couch. And **** the Catholic Church .
Robin Carretti Jun 2018
The treasure chest
Her ((Piece De Resistance))
French skills of perseverance
She was a hollow crown of jewels
Not the zircon bright yellow
The darker to see you my dear
near my pillow

That death by chocolate how
she craved those sweets
Graveyard shift current events

Those men dark Batman suits
water skiing and internet surfing
That bat eye batmobile showdown
missile

Cells and locks to open the
gate and keys
A hell  of a wish never on
Sunday to ring her bell the Siren
She made their hair home
Sunday  dark gravy

Lips were too thin and skully
Was a cycle her lowdown
Shot glass don't touch my Philly
So gravely razor suit and a shave
Her mouth Tornado
But the vivacious Viking

  Crypt look hellhole
The gathering dead again
Santa dead pole
couldn't stop bickering
No-one cared to notice her
dreadlocks
"The Cryptocurrency"
what urgency
She was drawn into the
Arsenic and Lace
Viva Las Vegas roll the dice
Cryptic engraved cellar
Like the maestro was playing
his serenade
She-devil Pillar
catching her death of cold
Feeling high winding staircase
Wearing her gown ripped lowdown
Being blown off the town lace
Oh! Fiddlestick with the
***** of light
Breaking free from husbands sight
The rise of the current storms
heads up she drinks Grand
dead Marnier
Took over such a restraint
This wasn't black and gray
spray paint

What a fiercest most recent
ancient  current events
Reptilian and it was the
family of witches and covens
Words engraved so cryptically
She was wearing her
snakeskin bag signature

The body of dead sea such rapture
The fire feet stepping over seashells
Takes the hell out of Sahara snakes
  She got a backdraft
Black widow of waistlines
13 inches Spyder Graphics
Those shifters and heretics

He was the Rocky face
The shorelines those laugh-lines
Sad clown dark eyes scratched
The cat feline

Her addiction was the guylines
Crypt crooked cop fines
Another startup kit
The dark edgy women her
legs just fit
Dark and edgy things crypt with coffins dying current waves are the
only thing living. This is like the Arsenic and Lace but those old ladies had a change of face
Innocent Tata May 2017
The concept of aging hits with distaste
The wisdom that stumps life's thirst
A nod to having done it all
As we mantra unfulfilled dreams
Selling dead stars to kids
Revisiting old fears, my debt for words,
My remodeling  of how i approach life.... Less enthusiasm

I used to dread today
Grabbing this bleak space
Inviting hairs to my face
Charging mirrors for confidence
Drumming my chest with consolation
I Dreamt like stars do

I used to run with springs for knees
Hopping old pine fences
Sliding down guard rails
Thumping turfs
As my body thuds the floor
Laughter grips my lungs

Back when love was forever
so was heartbreaks
Sunrises were beautiful
Grasshoppers were wondrous
Poodles were guilty pleasures
The world was screaming paint

We Projected puppies and ponies out of clouds
something out of nothing
We made Castles out of sand
Tainted bodies with dusty palms

The alter was a fracture of heaven
And the priest was God
Pale skin and iced veins with a numb heart
Just as Gods would act

Looking for love,
May have drank for love
We danced for love
We fought for love
Love sometimes had a boyfriend
Love said no a lot

Retching sounds and **** stains
Pants worn below waistlines
Cigarettes for the first time
talks of ladies with lighter skin
Female connoisseurs
No more cartoons at 4.....

We! are! men! now!
When the third tide rolled out the rocks began to wobble.
While the pebbles trickled, stumbled to the water;
While the seashells clenched their posture in the sand;
While the grass before the dunes reached in desperation for the ocean’s hand;
The rocks began to wobble.

The rocks couldn’t remember the last time they’d been loose.
Since both sides of the promise had been kept,
It had been years since they’d wept.
But now, again, they found themselves loose.

The rocks watched as the fourth tide crept to their waistlines,
And remembered to touch all the comforts they’d learned underwater.
To their surprise the comforts hadn’t moved an inch,
And this gave them strength.

When their eyes would open, they’d remember that
Everything looks better when it’s blue.
When their mouths would open, they’d remember that
They have crossed the ocean a thousand times.

In this, their strength, they found a steadiness
That had been there long before they,
And that would surely forget their names.

When the fifth tide rolled out the rocks again felt the loose,
And closed their eyes until they were again underwater.
Dylan Mcconnell Jan 2018
About animals, abortion, and abilities
About bouquets, Buddhism, and bilious people.
About cats, cars, and caring about others.
About depression, death, and the process of dying.
About eating disorders, evil step-mothers, and ecstasy.
About fattiness, fear(s), and the trait of being friendly.
About goats, ghosts, and greetings in different countries.
About happiness, healthy diets, and humanitarian rights.
About intimacy, icicles, and igloos.
About jack-in-the-boxes, the juvenile system, and justified ******.
About kindness, kissing, and kitties.
About love, living, and ladies.
About moms, mediocrity, and medicine.
About no meaning no, feeling naked, and nature.
About ovulation, October, and court orders.
About periods, peskiness, and perverts.
About quirks, queerness, and qualifying for college.
About ****, razors, and reading.
About ***, Sudafed, and scandals.
About taxi drivers, tables and what they hold, along with thoughts
About UW-Madison, unfortunate circumstances, and unemployment.
About vehicles, valuable objects, and violence.
About waistlines, waitressing, and what a waste of time homework is.
About xylophones, xanax, and xanthous.
About you, younglings, and yellow flowers.
About zoos, zanies, and zaps.
Just help for writers block.

— The End —