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M L Evett Feb 2017
A Trav’ler lost inside a world
Wants only love to be unfurled
Two roads diverge, both cloaked in mist
The one not chosen will be missed

A Trav’ler wanders ‘round the mews
Wants peace of mind, gets morning news
So many voices lacking tact
And telling that which is not fact

A Trav’ler's heart is filled to burst
And mind a maze of twists and turns
Now etches life onto a page
Black ink replaces blood today

A Trav’ler weaves yarn through the loom
And knows the thread leads to a doom
But trav’lling just to move through skein
Seems pointless and, oh so mundane

When trav’lling is all that you know
It can be hard to stop and think
Oh what is all this trav’lling for?
A Trav’ler shrugs, but dreams of more, to soar
Phairy Aug 2014
"But he shall never know who I am!" Nicotine said in total desperation to her noxious best friend. "You don't understand, you never felt what I'm feeling!" Nicotine pulled away from her friend and ran downstairs
"You will get caught" Lela shouted trying to talk her sense out of it. "What if you got caught?"
"Then I shall be punished for this love but I refuse to regret trying to have it." She wore a jacket and a baseball cap and took off.


Nicotine wasn't a normal girl, she wasn't like Lela or girls in her age. In fact, she wasn't like anyone ever.
She was very brave and creative, dreamy but she makes it happen. She doesn't care what people might think and she doesn't like rules. She grow up with merother and both brothers, her dad died with surgery complex of  adjustable gastric band when she was 13; and he told her before he took the breath of his death "don't ever change, don't be like me. Change them without trying. Just be you, they'll follow! And never chase love, love will find you." And she never lived by any rules except for those.
She was the youngest among her brothers yet she was the strongest emotionally, physically and the brightest mentally. Nicotine never understood why the world decided to be a man's world when she is a woman and better than a lot of men!

Nicotine was a strange girl that wouldn't let anything stop her. And nothing stopped her indeed.
Until this one time...

She was 17 years old when she met a boy. Travis was his name, Travis has traveled from his school to hers and they met in English class. The only seat available was next to her so he sat there. For three seconds, there eyes met and Nicotine never been that much hooked. She was straight forward and hate the games. So by the end of the day she asked Travis out.
"Sorry, I don't tend to be rude but my sister died few months back and I don't feel like being around girls."
Nicotine flustered when this time, she didn't know how to get what she wants. She smiled and waved goodbye.
She wouldn't lose hope and she was determined to be Travis best friend! But Travis never showed on the second day of school or the third. Travis never showed up again as if he disappeared with fresh air up the mountains where people lose their way back in the forest.

Years went by but Nicotine never had forgot his details...

The way his long brown darkish hair flew unlike mainstream. Dark skin tone with black wide eyes. Even though Nicotine was 5,9 feet considered tall, Travis was almost 6,4 or something.
There have been nights when she dreamt of him hugging her tight telling her "wait, don't leave. I'm coming" or the times when she sees him everywhere and never been able to love anyone as half as the love she feels for Travis. Some nights she thought, maybe... Just maybe I love him too much because he is the one who left not the other way around! But most nights, she dreamt about way long French kiss.

One day she was walking down the streets on her way back from college. She is a senior now and a vergin.
Nicotine was in her usual bubble listening to her IPod music when she saw him again.
She wasn't sure at first. His hair was shorter and she didn't recognize the smile. But those eyes and the skin tone. **** it, she can't let him slip again.
"Yo, Trav" some whiteish guy across the road yelled to him.
Trav? Trav? He said Trav? What's the short name goes for????¿¿¿!!!¡
"For the million times dude, its Travis. Never call me Trav" Travis flicked the white guy forehead. "Whatever, u going to Delphic tonight?"
"Yep, best arcade ever!"
Nicotine stood still for awhile, losing her ability to control her lungs. Shortens in oxygen. Her mouth was all rusty and words too little. Suddenly she started running home as fast as she could. Called her best friend and told her about her plan.

That's when Lela started to be noxious.

"Okay okay, hold on" rising her hands up to shush me "you are going to the Delphic arcade across the city tonight to stalk a guy you have been in love with-one sided- for years faking that you are a guy?" She paused. "That's so normal, nothing weird about this." Laughed sarcastically
"You don't need to understand" said Nicotine.
It almost felt as it she's mourning "why are you doing this please I need to understand?"
Nicotine was racing the clock trying to get ready to be the coolest guy. Wig of short hair? Done. Thick eyebrows? Done. Guys shirt? Done. Jeans? Done. ******* corset? Done. She was very sure he is the one. "I don't know how to explain all the feelings I have for this guy. But one time I was a girl and he turned me down because his sister died months ago and then disappeared! Look at me, Lela! Do I look like a girl to say no to?"
"All this trouble for a revenge?"
"Of course not, its a give in to my heart"


Nicotine arrived at 9 pm sharp. She doesn't know is Travis here already or not but she doesn't waste time and she starts looking for him. By a pinball machine Travis stood next to his friends and the white guy she saw earlier. She knew no time should be anymore wasted.

"Excuse me?" Said nicotine in loud, stiff and sharp voice
All the guys turned around of the pinball looked at her. Except they weren't looking at a girl but a handsome guy.
"I've lost my phone and I think my friends left, can I use one of you cell phone?"
"Sure" Travis said first. Pulled his cell out of his ripped jeans pocket and handed to me.
"Thanks, won't take long"
Nicotine pulled herself aside and started pretending that she is talking on the phone by calling her cellphone voice mail. Next step, spend some quality time with Travis!!
"*******, *******!!!" Nicotine shouted through the phone and close the line dramatically groaning.
"U ok?" Travis grabbed nicotine by the shoulder.
"Yeah." Nicotine paused "I need a ride home"
"I can give you one if you like." Travis blushed. "Do you need to leave now?"
"No, I can stay for a while more.... I'm nicotine" we shook hands
"Travis... Don't ever call me Trav. Nicotine as THE NICOTINE?"
"my dad was big fan of the 70's rock bands, I happen to be a sin" Nicotine leaned closer while still grabbing his hand then she whispered "btw Trav, I never play by the rules"

Travis stood there, studying Nicotines face like a map dotting every detail as if he planning to get an A+ on geography. "You're... Different" Travis murmured.
Nicotine grinned.

They've spend days and days having fun going out for ice cream or movies. Concerts and jams. Late night phone calls and early breakfast making. They never talked a out girls which was odd to nicotine but she was relifed Travis didn't like any girls around.


They were on a hill laying down gazing at the stars in the middle of an afternoon sun. It was one the weird games they played that nobody understood.
"Listen" Travis said "I need to tell you something"
Nicotines heart pounded "listening but whisper"
Travis took a moment before he spoke again. "I'm gay." Travis sounded edgy. "I'm gay for you... Don't bail on me I love you,
nicotine. Kiss me"

In a matter of a second nicotine lost all hope for words all hope for love and all hope to forget this love that now has been so close to be reached. She got up and ran away. But this time not home. She ran to the cemetery where her dad laid...

She was caught up between telling him the truth or go get a transgender surgery. But she was afraid if she told the truth, he could never love her like he loved nicotine the guy. If she told the truth, he could not forgive her for the lie she told. She lived. Nicotine was torn in front of her dads grave and wanted for angel of death to come and take her soul. Just for a day or two. Just for a while, until Travis forgets. Until she forgets. Before this, ever have been done by her.

"Why are you crying?" A voice shifted nicotine's mind from lost to found. "What are you doing here? How did you find me" she said.
"You told me, that's where you go when things go wrong." Travis tenderly spoke, sat next to me. "Have they gone wrong?" He said.

Nicotine was trying to control her sobb "yes." Wiping her tears with her arm "I didn't mean to go so far"
Travis stared and stared and looked at nictone in a way she couldn't read his face. "There is something I should tell you" nicotine whispered frighteni for the first time in her life since her father died. "Speak" Travis whispered while his forehead clicked to mine.
Nicotine froze as soon as she felt his skin on hers. She closed her eyes not wanting to look at the disappointment in his eyes. The frown on his face. She couldn't focus when she had his breath on her face. She didn't know how to begin, she didn't know how to open her rusted mouth. "I..." Travis pulled nicotine closer placing both of his hands on the sides of her head and kissed her. Kissed her like he never seen lips before. "I know." Travis said.
"What?"
"I'm 25 years old, don't you think I'd know a girl when I see one? Specially a girl I wanted to kiss the day I met and thought I've lost for good"
Nicotine crocked a smile and rushed to his rough lips. Biting the lower lip as if she never kissed a guy before. It wasn't just lust or the need for ****** *******. It was craving to touch a skin you adored. It was listening to your favorite song alone in the dark. It was comfort that made love.
Travis slowly pulled her away "why did you fake to be a guy?"
"I was afraid to lose you again if I was a girl if you had a lover." Embarrassed nicotine spoke her words. "I'm sorry, I love you. Don't leave."
"You're nicotine... And I'm heavy smoker seeks death if it means to die by your love"

And that's how Romeo and Juliet died of lung cancer. Just kidding. They died with poison
Mimi Jan 2012
I wonder how I got here, secluded in a grimy apartment filled with smoke. We drink gin and tonics with mint like it’s the ‘20s; we sit and talk pop culture because we know. Taj has somehow become the effective authority on all of these things, paid to social network and connected to Hollywood; he’s very skilled at playing to people’s wants. My Cadillac sits intent next to me markering in a recent drawing for his newest class. He’s already famous for his graffiti, one day I’ll bet you this extra credit project will be worth money. He drew me a fox for Christmas. Valentines day is coming up. He never tells me he loves me. Jack is watching me watch him out of the corner of his eye while putting on a new remix of an old song. He leans over and asks if I like it and I nod. I feel bubbled up with *** smoke, frozen in time and vaguely uncomfortable. I’d guess this is what it’s like to be “too high.” I want Caddy to notice, but it’s Jack that’s pushing my hair back and telling me to drink more water. It’s sweet. Despite his need to be seen as a womanizer, Jack respects Caddy too much to even try with me, he looks but he doesn’t put on any faces for me. Everyone thinks so hard about how they’re seen.
Jack says his New Year’s resolution is to do less *******, even though no one asked. Everyone hears but no one reacts. I try to keep moving my toes and stop shivering. Across from me Ky and Nate are reading the encyclopedia in open-mouthed awe. In a room full of intellectual up and comers I feel like Hemmingway did when he was my age, how all the minds gravitate to each other and sit in a ***** room by the beach and let the creativity go. Like Mary Shelly and the whole gang writing Frankenstein and Dracula in the same trip.  After a while I think Taj is going to make it, Jack will be a politician and Caddy will be lost and with another woman. Ky and Nate will still be smoking and reading the encyclopedia, all the way down to ‘z’. I am like my mother: attracting the company of smart successful men who pay her selective attention.
The door burst open and the cold air stayed in my pores after it was closed. Rodger invited himself over. It would have been all right but when Rodger is wasted he forgets his manners. In his animated state he managed to kick over Caddy’s favorite smoking piece, insult Jack and look at me a little too hard. His girlfriend had immediately passed out on the couch, but she never smiled or spoke to me anyway. Her head was cradled in the lap of a girl I hadn’t noticed. Her hair was perfect and her eyes shadowed, the liner and mascara smudging its way slowly onto her high cheekbones. She stared at me but didn’t speak. I tried to smile, but didn’t want to give away the champagne sensation covering my skin, still too up to speak. She had already formed her opinion of me, some young ******* the arm of an older boy. She was once in my position, I’m sure of it, we are the same kind of beautiful and empty eyed. That doesn’t stop her from judging, in the total of 15 seconds she looked at me. Her self is tamed and mine is wild still. Unintroduced and unnoticed by the men in the room, we have an understanding and a mutual dislike of each other, only to defend ourselves.
The room takes time to settle, a bowl has been packed for an entitled Rodger, and now that everyone is calm, Cad sits back down and puts his arm around me again. I lean into him, protected and anchored, whereas I had been floating or about to puke a minute ago. I don’t know what I said but Caddy seemed annoyed when he said “Just let it happen, embrace the feeling,” and so I kept quiet for ten minutes or so. The high was infected with guilt. Next time he looked at me-- it could have been an hour—I whispered, “I can’t” and finally he heard me, and stood up.
Cad came back into my vision with a glass of water and turned on Drive, prompting Rodger, Mrs. Rodger and my pretty enemy to leave. Ky and Nate had gone long before I could focus on noticing. Taj left for trivia night down at the bar and no doubt some girl; wrapped up in a cashmere scarf and cardigan he kissed my cheek before he went. Jack also took his graceful leave with the Rodger group to woo some girl who knew exactly what she was doing to herself. He did have a straight nosed charm, Jack. I could not blame this girl, one of many (I am embarrassed for her; I have been like this ******* many occasions).  
Taj had been sent the advanced copy of Drive in blu-ray, so we snuck it from his room and watched it that way (the only way Taj would see movies now, it is the future (for now)). Kavinsky came through Cad’s new speakers the boys had spent half an hour trying to wire earlier in the night. “They’re taking about you boy/but you’re still the same” crooned Lovefoxxx as Ryan Gosling cruised down a street, ****** intense in driving gloves. Gears shifting and motors growling are very ****, I tell Cadillac so into his ear, as he pulls me into his arms and covers me up with a blanket.
The movie was perfect, maybe because it made me feel less dizzy and sickguilty (Cad knew it would) and maybe because Ryan Gosling can wear a white satin jacket. I loved it, hardly noticing when the absent roommate Travis strolled in with Taj and tacos somewhere around 2am.  Colder as Caddy got up for a burrito, left me alone on the couch for the kitchen table. Registering Taj taking his place, playing with my curls and talking Hollywood to me. I’m staring over at Cad in his chair, he makes eye contact once or twice and I blow him a kiss before Taj repositions my head toward the television and my ear back where he can speak into it.
Eventually Cadillac taps Taj on the shoulder and motions for him to get up. With Cad back I can relax and I fall into sleep just as the movie ends. Taj and Trav have gone to their own beds and Cad leans over me, picks me up and takes me to bed knocking my elbow on the doorframe along the way. He apologizes and kisses my head but I am too tired to care. He lays me down on the bed with crimson sheets and takes off my boots but then sternly says, “Mimi, you are not a child.” and so I must get up and undress myself. He wraps me in a duvet missing its cover and his arms. I trust him long enough to fall asleep.

-

Standing in front of the stove it was hot, but I am easily overheated. He came up behind me and said in my ear, “you’re lovely” watching me put the last piece of French toast on the large stack, getting ready to scramble eggs. He kissed my cheek. Then my neck and then my lips, taking me away from my cooking to be pulled against him, for a sweet short minute and went back to the living room with his friends. Jack had mysteriously reappeared in the night; he said he locked himself out of his apartment after leaving to see one of his girls. Taj just sat and blasted Radiohead over the new speakers, shouting something relevant at me. I scramble the eggs and make up plates, two pieces of toast each and a nice healthy pile of eggs. It is gone very quickly and no one says thank you, except for a smile from Caddy and a kiss on the forehead. It’s usually enough for me, knowing he likes to show me off to his friends. I sit down with my cup of coffee and plate, within a few minutes Cad suggests he takes me home. I resentfully take time to finish my coffee. But we are both busy and he is right, so I say goodbye to the boys and gather my things. We drive with the “best MC on the game these days” (so I am told) over the weak speakers of the car. Cad drives with his arm around me always. Cruising into my building’s parking lot I lean over for a kiss on my forehead, nose, lips. He says go, but his hand still sits on my shoulder so I stay for a little longer. “You’ll probably have to let go of me if it’s time for me to go Cad,” I say quietly, with a tentative smile on my face. He grins back and lifts his arm. I slide out of the suicide seat and smile at him, but he’s looking at the radio dials. Then my face. His eyes give him away, softened around the edges with affection. Maybe love, but he’d never say it and I refuse to say it until he does. I try not to think about it much as he drives away to smoke up again with his friends. I wonder if this is how it will always be, but then I realize our kind of “always” is only the next few months. I turned unsteadily and walked up the stairs to my empty room—dark and overheated smelling heavily of sugar and spice candles-- with the geese outside my window for company. I haven’t slept here for days.
O Prince, O chief of many throned pow’rs!
        That led th’ embattled seraphim to war!
                      (Milton, Paradise Lost)

O thou! whatever title suit thee,—
Auld Hornie, Satan, Nick, or Clootie!
Wha in yon cavern, grim an’ sootie,
     Clos’d under hatches,
Spairges about the brunstane cootie
     To scaud poor wretches!

Hear me, Auld Hangie, for a wee,
An’ let poor ****** bodies be;
I’m sure sma’ pleasure it can gie,
     E’en to a deil,
To skelp an’ scaud poor dogs like me,
     An’ hear us squeel!

Great is thy pow’r, an’ great thy fame;
Far ken’d an’ noted is thy name;
An’ tho’ yon lowin heugh’s thy hame,
     Thou travels far;
An’ faith! thou’s neither lag nor lame,
     Nor blate nor scaur.

Whyles, ranging like a roarin lion,
For prey a’ holes an’ corners tryin;
Whyles, on the strong-wing’d tempest flyin,
     Tirlin’ the kirks;
Whyles, in the human ***** pryin,
     Unseen thou lurks.

I’ve heard my rev’rend graunie say,
In lanely glens ye like to stray;
Or whare auld ruin’d castles gray
     Nod to the moon,
Ye fright the nightly wand’rer’s way
     Wi’ eldritch croon.

When twilight did my graunie summon
To say her pray’rs, douce honest woman!
Aft yont the **** she’s heard you bummin,
     Wi’ eerie drone;
Or, rustlin thro’ the boortrees comin,
     Wi’ heavy groan.

Ae dreary, windy, winter night,
The stars shot down wi’ sklentin light,
Wi’ you mysel I gat a fright,
     Ayont the lough;
Ye like a rash-buss stood in sight,
     Wi’ waving sugh.

The cudgel in my nieve did shake,
Each bristl’d hair stood like a stake,
When wi’ an eldritch, stoor “Quaick, quaick,”
     Amang the springs,
Awa ye squatter’d like a drake,
     On whistling wings.

Let warlocks grim an’ wither’d hags
Tell how wi’ you on ragweed nags
They skim the muirs an’ dizzy crags
     Wi’ wicked speed;
And in kirk-yards renew their leagues,
     Owre howket dead.

Thence, countra wives wi’ toil an’ pain
May plunge an’ plunge the kirn in vain;
For oh! the yellow treasure’s taen
     By witchin skill;
An’ dawtet, twal-pint hawkie’s gaen
     As yell’s the bill.

Thence, mystic knots mak great abuse,
On young guidmen, fond, keen, an’ croose;
When the best wark-lume i’ the house,
     By cantraip wit,
Is instant made no worth a louse,
     Just at the bit.

When thowes dissolve the snawy hoord,
An’ float the jinglin icy-boord,
Then water-kelpies haunt the foord
     By your direction,
An’ nighted trav’lers are allur’d
     To their destruction.

And aft your moss-traversing spunkies
Decoy the wight that late an drunk is:
The bleezin, curst, mischievous monkeys
     Delude his eyes,
Till in some miry slough he sunk is,
     Ne’er mair to rise.

When Masons’ mystic word an grip
In storms an’ tempests raise you up,
Some **** or cat your rage maun stop,
     Or, strange to tell!
The youngest brither ye *** whip
     Aff straught to hell!

Lang syne, in Eden’d bonie yard,
When youthfu’ lovers first were pair’d,
An all the soul of love they shar’d,
     The raptur’d hour,
Sweet on the fragrant flow’ry swaird,
     In shady bow’r;

Then you, ye auld snick-drawin dog!
Ye cam to Paradise incog,
And play’d on man a cursed brogue,
     (Black be your fa’!)
An gied the infant warld a shog,
     Maist ruin’d a’.

D’ye mind that day, when in a bizz,
Wi’ reeket duds an reestet gizz,
Ye did present your smoutie phiz
     Mang better folk,
An’ sklented on the man of Uz
     Your spitefu’ joke?

An’ how ye gat him i’ your thrall,
An’ brak him out o’ house and hal’,
While scabs and blotches did him gall,
     Wi’ bitter claw,
An’ lows’d his ill-tongued, wicked scaul,
     Was warst ava?

But a’ your doings to rehearse,
Your wily snares an’ fechtin fierce,
Sin’ that day Michael did you pierce,
     Down to this time,
*** ding a Lallan tongue, or Erse,
     In prose or rhyme.

An’ now, Auld Cloots, I ken ye’re thinkin,
A certain Bardie’s rantin, drinkin,
Some luckless hour will send him linkin,
     To your black pit;
But faith! he’ll turn a corner jinkin,
     An’ cheat you yet.

But fare you weel, Auld Nickie-ben!
O *** ye tak a thought an’ men’!
Ye aiblins might—I dinna ken—
     Still hae a stake:
I’m wae to think upo’ yon den,
     Ev’n for your sake!
AD Letwixt Oct 2018
Enter forest green and black
wherein treetops shade pathways leading back
the wind malevolent grins with mirthful eyes
a playful ill-will as cats before their mice.

It is not the fear of bitter cold
nor of darkness stories old
it is something moving in these aged trees
that brings shivers down to-- What trav'lers these?

Who walk with downcast eyes below the hidden sky
and bowing step forth unto demise.

When moon does show it's drowsy eye
and once red is blue as the night
what lurks between boughs of green and gold
has blackened heart from lies once told
saunters 'fore the wooden place
where young men end their race.

What trav'lers these who call before the fight
They- with no weapon- shout with might
To live and die in mighty storm
and one day take on heaven's form

The feared one raises head and claws
perching soundless to cause their painful fall
"Let me hear your ending call, that god or devil
may not forsake you all."

"We have no gods nor demons, no angels nor devils for us to call
for we are men of faithless earthly hall
who come to bear the earthly yoke
of life short lived and death's unrighteous stroke;"

"we walk to death and nothing after
as is custom of those with little faith
hear our cry oh merciful wraith
that we might pass under your yellow eye
as those who live and ask nought but time from life
that we may eat and drink our fill of what might be had
and drunken die before mad-ness take
and for other lives and worlds we save our fate
and we praise heavens and gods contrived in faithful tirade!"

Scrutinizing these travelers with delicate stare
the wraith had never seen such men that would enter the forest lair
With a laugh he let them pass
gods be with them and send them fast.

This last humor bore them along
to lands and drinks where their song is still sung
and the lives they lived were none too long.
Amor Fati
“And the first beast was like a lion,
and the second beast like a calf, and
the third beast had a face as a man,
and the fourth beast was like a flying eagle.”
-Revelation 4:7;


The Sun is the same…
The Sun is the same…
The Sun is the same man as me,
The Sun is the (Say-Ame) Man as me,
No, the Sun is the same…
The Sun is the same…

The Sun is the (Say-Ame) Man as me,
It follows the path of culture’s dream.
The southern skies aren’t what they seem.
The Sun is the (Say-Ame) Man as me,
Yeah, the Sun is the (Say-Ame) Man as me,

The horns of god stab through the trees,
The wings of the bird, -now it’s trav-el-ling,

The Sun is the (Say-Ame) Man as me,
The Sun is the (Say-Ame) Man as me,

A screaming Eagle punish-ing,
Judgment of Lions sets you free,
And the Sun is the (Say-Ame) Man as me,

The Sun is the (Say-Ame) Man as me,
Sky of light, -his shining sea,
Horns of the Bull pierce through the trees,
Eagle, Lion, -Man and Ox you see?

The Sun is the (Say-Ame) man as me,
The Sun is the (Say-Ame) man as me,
The Sun is the (Say-Ame) man as me,
Yeah, the Sun is the (Say-Ame) man as me,
Yeah, the Sun is the (Say-Ame) man as me,

The Sun is the same…
The Bible contains a riddle that is a clue to the origin of the works contained in it. This clue is the multi-faced angel found in the beginning and end of the Bible. Each, "face," is a face of the sun in mythology. Greeks saw the sun as a lion, Egyptians as a bull, Sumerians as an eagle and Celts as a man. Therefore the Bible is a collection of Sumerian, Egyptian, Greek and Celtic mythology. Greeks were, at one point in history, the world's inscribers and would often times write books for other cultures in that culture's language to make it appear authentic as coming from said culture. It is a possibility that Hebrews collected works and had them written in their language as the Bible.
annh Sep 2019
Subway skip jive,
Off and on,
Up and over,
Been and gone.

Mind your wallet,
Watch your step,
Take your seat,
Turn right, lean left.

Token trav’lers,
Quick, quick, slow,
We’re underground,
And on the go.

‘I loved the abandoned subway stations, rushing past the darkened platforms, the sprawl of graffiti like old letters. Letters left by ghosts.’
- Hannah Lillith Assadi, Sonora
Relentless trav'lers
know not the peace of farmers'
ordinary life
Hilda Dec 2012
Trav'ling o'er miles of time
and space unlimited
where disembodied we drift
unseen yet seeing
into the lives of a thousand
otherwise unknown people

~Hilda~
© Hilda December 31, 2012
Chenoa Jul 2010
You may see a star or two
within this vibrant shell,
my sun shine bright, anew,
the laughter fill a hole.
See now upon my sleeve
the glistening moondusts wane.
What means by which they cleave?
What spirit do tides feign?
I sail a sea of calm, but
waters of the deep, they say,
do not profit from the balm
of strangers on their way.
What ease might come from Him?
From trav'ler drawing close--
more friend-- along the rim
of lonely's deep repose.
SE Reimer Mar 3
ever an expat

~

i'm ever an expat,
this culture ain't mine;
a trip to my next stop,
a place in my mind.
this soil isn't home,
my soul it's on loan;
just looking for peace,
in a world upside down.

i'm a' travelin' light,
in pursuit of a song;
not seeking permission,
for my heart to belong.
my sole's intermission,
will only prolong,
finding the courage,
to write all my wrong.

surrounded by others,
with tickets defined;
you ask if my home's
at the end of the line?
no, i looked for a non-stop,
a grand destination;
my vocation mistaken,
a search has awakened.

i'm ever an expat,
in a culture not mine;
a trip to my next stop,
a place in my mind.
this soil isn't home,
my soul it's on loan;
still looking for peace,
in a world all gone wrong.

though ever a trav'ler,
and rarely at rest,
enjoying this journey,
my accepted success.
in losing i'm winning,
my end my beginning;
for my pain isn't gain,
til' i lose all the excess!

come fly with me,
in this quest to be free;
i'm prepared to let go,
of all that i've seen.
this my adventure,
a spirited venture;
perhaps solace i've sought,
appears in release!

i'm ever an expat,
in a culture not mine;
a trip to my next stop,
a place in my mind.
this soil isn't home,
my soul it's on loan;
i've finally found peace,
in the words of my song.

~

post script

I once wrote the following words to a dear friend in response to an article about childhood and belonging...

"it is said of men and women alike, one's latter years... those years when eyes betray, as often does one's strength, are years in which a sixth sense emerges, and with it a 20/20 vision; a hindsight that sees in its rearview mirror the beauty and wonder of life, of dots connected with its enigmatic smoke screen stripped away, its majestic tapestry coming into view... a blending of time and place where purpose and intention can become focused.

In physicality, I am 47 years removed from my host country, Japan, but here I am today, still feeling each point of these words, more poignantly than I'd like to admit!! In my more rational moments, I'd say I've moved on... in reality I often still feel stuck, unable to see my childhood as anything but a dream or another life... almost an outside-looking-in experience!"

Ever an expat, perhaps; peace and rest are elusive at best!
TC Said Sep 2016
Hi I'm Trav,

I would say my full name -it just takes too much time that I already don't have.

Oh I'm doing good, but just tired. Tired of being tired.

I've got a position open for someone to tell my busy-ness to and you see- you just got hired.

So sit back relax and hear my tales of cluttered schedules and dreams-  about the day when we will slow down. Sit and I'll tell about the day we know won't come close enough to smell.

So here's to you, cause I know your busy too.

I must go, I'll let you be.

The only rest I find is knowing my God isn't too busy for me.
Breeze-Mist Sep 2016
Mom, why do you say
"You were such a happy girl
What's with you today?"

There were happy parts
But childhood was also where
All of this stuff starts

I didn't hide from you
The fact that I was bullied
And teased by the school

I couldn't hide it
When I slammed down a desk, and
When my tooth was chipped

Maybe I didn't say
That going to sixth grade made
Me dread every day

I didn't talk of
All my plans for taking off
Like a trav'ling dove

I guess you only
Saw my backyard play and trips
That's when you saw me

But much of the time I
Looked at the birds in the sky
And wished I could fly

You don't know how much
I wanted to run away
From my school and such

But you do know
About the times I got hit
By classmates long ago

They told you about
All the times the other kids
Made me scream and shout

So you can argue
Whatever you want, but your
Favorite point isn't true
TOD HOWARD HAWKS Dec 2019
THE SAVGERY OF THE BIRTH AND HISTORY
OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

The birth of the United States of America,
our democracy, was borne of the savgery
of slavery and genocide, and its history
and growth were perpetrated by the same.
It is an incalculable and unconscionable trav-
esty that so few citizens today know the
horror of this dual devilry, the history of our
country.

Thomas Jefferson, the principal author of the
Declarartion of Independence, which included
in it the indelible phrase “all men are created
equal,” and became our third president, was
the owner himself of over 600 slaves. He was
one of eight U.S. presidents who were at one
time or another slave owners, the first of whom
was George Washington.

The Constitution of the United States, when
ratified, thereby legalized the brutality of
slavery, through the 3/5ths and Fugutive Slave
clauses therein, in all of the 13 new states.
Both the northern and southern states prospered
mightily through the evils of slavery, the northern
states through processing the cotton and shipping
it to England, the southern by growing it through
slavery.

Over time, the northern states gradually declared
slavery to be illegal, but in 1861, the year the Civil
War began, there were still 4,000,000 blacks in
slavery in the Deep South. If you happen to be white
and not black while reading this, give eternal thanks,
and while you’re at it, pray for atonement, because
our entire country still suffers greatly from the legacy
of slavery, which we now call racism.

If you were a slave, you had no legal rights. If you fell
in love as a slave, you probably would have done what
most human beings do when they fall in love:  make
love and probably give birth to a baby, whom you would
also love. But if your slave master had a whim and wanted
to **** the mother of the new baby, or if he wanted to ****
her 13-year-old daughter, all the slave master had to do was
to decide which whim was greater in him, because he
could do either with impunity, and did. If any slave said
a word, he or she was subject to 60 lashes while tied
to a tree trunk.

If you were a slave and dared to begin to learn how to
read and write, and if you were caught doing either or
both, you were whipped to near death. And if you had
the incredible courage to try to escape this hell on Earth
and were caught in your attempt, either you were killed,
or wish you had been. (Read about Harriet Tubman and
Sojouner Truth, for starters.) And, of course, your slave
master could sell any of his slaves whenever he wanted
to.

You, the reader, may glean from this brief overview some
insight as to why we, as a country, are still struggling
terribly with what we now call euphemistically “race
relations.” Only 160 years ago, we called it slavery, and
it was LEGAL.

Now genocide. As our new nation grew, it grew obviously
westward, which meant, of course, the United States committed
genocide against countless nations of indigenous peoples who
had lived on this continent for centuries before Columbus showed
up in the Caribbean in 1492. Treaties they had signed with the U. S.
government were routinely broken. The final campaign against these
proud and heroic peoples took place between 1860 to 1890,
culminating in the massacre of Wounded Knee, where old men,
women, and children were slaughtered.

If you have the guts to witness the detritus our government left
behind, take a trip to the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in the
southwest corner of South Dakota, the poorest place in the
United States today:  rampant alcoholism;  widespread clinical
depression;  a suicide rate of children 12 and younger, three
times the national average.

If you are a reader, you might want to pick up Howard Zinn’s
A PEOPLE’S HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES and
Dee Brown’s BURY MY HEART AT WOUNDED KNEE.
A graduate of Andover and Columbia College, Columbia University, Tod Howard Hawks has been a poet and human-rights advocate his entire adult life. He just finished his first novel, A CHILD FOR AMARANTH.
Big Virge Aug 2020
YES ... I Declare WAR ... !!!!!

On Those Whose Cause ...
Is ... YAPPING Jaws ... !!!

YAPPING This ...
And YAPPING That ... !?!

... DISTORTING Facts ... !!!

I'm Saying Man .....
It's Time To QUIT Or Face Lyrics ...
That DECLARE WAR ...
On Those With FLAWS ... !!!

Those With Consciences That GNAW ..........
Away At Them Like Rats On Boards ... !!!!!
Because Their Flaws Are ABOVE The Norm ...

NOT ... Sewer Rats ...
But Rats Whose Views ...
FILL UP Boardrooms ...
That SUPPORT Banks ...
Who ... SCAM For Cash ... !!!

It's Clearly Time To Speak My Mind ...
Through ... Use of Rhyme ...
To Wage A War On THEM For SURE ... !!!

No Time These Days For Making Hay ... !!!
I'm Making Waves With My Wordplay ...

It's Now TOO LATE To Make Dub Plates ... !!!
That Will Rotate And ... Get You PAID ...
The Games Now Changed And Re-Arranged ...

If You CAN'T Play LIVE ...
You ... WON'T Survive ... !!!

Where's The underground NOW ... !??
In ... IRAQI Towns ... !?!
Where It's CLEAR Gun Sounds ...
Make Some ... GET DOWN ... !!!

... Get DOWN REAL FAST ... !!!

WITHOUT James Brown ...
And WITHOUT ... " Nas " ... !?!

It's A DIFFERENT Brown ...
That Gordon Clown ... !!!
Who's Leaving FROWNS ...
NOT Beats That POUND ... !!!

The Beats Are Those ...
That BRUISE Young Mouths ... !!!
By Soldiers ... COLD ... !!!
From Foreign Folds ...

U.S. ... U.K. ....
And Those That PLAY ...
NEW AGE War Games ...
While People ... " PRAY " ... !!!

PRAY For ... " PEACE " ... !!!
And LESS Affrays And FOOD To Eat ... !!!

NO MATTER What THEY CLAIM ... !!!

Those Now Sending Men To GRAVES ...
What's The ENDING ... Human PAIN ...
And SUFFERING And RISING Hate ... !?!

While ... Heads of State ...
FILL UP Their Plates ...
With CASH NOT Food ...
And Oil That's CRUDE ...

I'm Waging WAR As Prices SOAR ...
Because The POOR CAN'T Eat No More ... !!!

This LACK of Humanity's ...
FUELLING ... "INSANITY" ... !!!!!

Like Trav' My FIRE'S Getting HIGHER ...
NO Spenser For Hire Or ... TAXI DRIVER ... !!!

But I May Well FLIP Just Like Travis Bick' ...
And Pick A DIFFERENT Shovel ...
That Rumbles YES Through Jungles ...
And Starts Creating TROUBLE ...
Because When I Get FICKLE ...
I'll Dig GRAVES Using SICKLES ... !!!!!!

That Wordplay Kinda ... St-umbles ...
Whilst PROVING I Am Humble ...
And READY For THIS WAR ...
With Men Like ... " Uncle George " ... !!!

I'm A Rebel I Guess ... ?!?
... WITHOUT A Pause ...
Because The Cause ...
Is ... STOPPING Laws ...
That Now Get PASSED ...
So ******* FAST ... !!!

That We DON'T Get Reports ...
of ... Changes In The Law ...
Until It's Time To Face The CRIME ... !?!

"Sir you've been charged with going too far !
Who on earth do you think you are ?"

"The names Big Virge, you can call me sir !
The connoisseur of spoken words !
It's clear my verse has left you stirred !
Your charge it seems, is fear of speech !
Speech that's pure, whilst waging war,
on government crews, who are paying you !"

So What's A Guy ...
Supposed To Choose ... ?

A Life of ... LIES ...
And PURE ABUSE ... ?!?

Come On Now Dude ... !!!
I'd Rather Ensure That I Wage WAR ...
With Words That Move ...
Like Hip Hop Tunes ...
Some Call ... ******* ... !!!

Well Me I'm RAW And Under Cooked ...
Well That's ... NOT TRUE ... !!!

But You And Your Crew ...
Are ... " COOKING Books " ...
Like ... " Petty CROOKS " ... !!!!!

So Let's Get This CLEAR ...
You're SPREADING FEAR ... !!!

And It Would Seem That You've Achieved ...
Your Goals QUICKLY Through Fallacies ... !!!!
That NOW Have People On Their KNEES ... !!!

ALL This EVIL KEEPS Them WEAK ... !!!
And UNABLE To Speak Like Me ... !!!

Coherently ...
... Articulately ...

NO Cain Or Fable Can Disable ...
POETRY That's Just FREE SPEECH ... !!!
FREEDOM of Thought And SO Much MORE ... !!!
What'd You Think I'm Writing For ... ?!?!?

To Get Applause And FAKE Awards ... !!!

You Must NEED A ... "Shrink" ...
... If THAT's Your THING ... !!!

So Is it PRISON For Me ... ?!?
... Right By The Sea ... !?!
Or A NICE Getaway ...
Hmmm ... Guantanamo Bay ... !!?!!

SIMPLY Because of Words I Say ... !?!
Fair Enough Then Boss Take Me AWAY ... !!!

But There's One More Thing ...
I'd Like To Say .... !!!

If My Skin Was ... WHITE ...
Would It ... Be THAT WAY ... ?!?

Had To Get THAT IN ...
Before My Last Line ... !!!

Your Laws Are CLEARLY ...
........... FLAWED ........... !!!!!!!!

As Is Your ... BOGUS Cause ...
Which is WHY My Words ENFORCE ...
These Words I'll Say ... Once More .....

....... " I Declare WAR " ........
Battle Rap Styled, performance piece, inspired in no small way by the Robert De Niro movie, Taxi Driver ... !!!
Travis Green Apr 2021
Boy, you got me geeked
Spinning and dreaming in your heat
Incapable of speaking
‘Cause you’re so sweet like Reese’s
A fresh young ****, so love
So tough with his stuff
Smoking that good good
Living in the hood
Strapped with the gat
Wearing your red hat
Got your whole crew on deck
Controlling the block

You know you hot with your swagger
With your notorious flex
With your glorious lex
Equipped with the rims and tinted windows
With the pioneer touchscreen car stereo and speakers
Representing like a real G
So dangerous like angel dust
Chucking the deuces up
To whoever comes thru

****, you’re the truth
Everything I ***** with in a ****
Located up north in the Brooklyn streets
You’re so lit like a freak
Getting rude with the Henny
Guaranteed to be a winner
Packing your stacks
The way Trav like it

I need a goon like you
That can tune my engine
Take me up to your room
And we can get busy
With memorable kisses and touching
Sexing ghetto style
Getting buck wild
Riding your stick
Feeling your grip
Oh, you’re so sick
Baby, keep hitting it like that
I want that **** passion
So, I can never forget
How you put it on, Big T

— The End —