"For all have sinned
and fall short of
the glory of God..."

Romans 3:23


Jane woke up
In a strange bed
Liquor on her breath
She lit up a cigarette
She knew that
it was death.
She watched him
Put his pants on
Before he went to work
She thought
He was a loser
She thought
He was a ****
She walked out his doorway
Back out on the street  
She now had $60
So she went out to eat
She observed the customers
The waitress and the cook
How could
She keep on living
With the guilt
She felt - the *looks?
They all knew her business
Her clothing said it all
So they sat in judgment
Nailed her to the wall.

She left with shame
Surrounding her
There was no disguise
She left with face
A flaming red
Tears burning
In her eyes
She walked by an outreach
Walked in with
Other knaves
She felt she might
Find some help

The sign said, "JESUS SAVES".


Sue woke beside her hubby
In a nice suburban home
She went and made
Him breakfast
He came down
Well groomed.
He went to
Good employment
He had a sterling past
She put on her makeup
And went to Yoga class
Then the doctor's office
Her tests negative again
She filled out the
Paperwork
And thoughtlessly
Took their pen
Then she drove
To Wal-Mart
In a hurry
She was late
For her next appointment
For the lunch
Which her friends ate
She went in to
Meet them
That's when
She saw Jane
She looked with derision.
That "***** *****" again.
She consumed her salad
"The girls" laughter
Met Jane's ears
That's what caused
Her face to blush
That's what
Caused her tears.
Sue drove home.
She cut cars off,
Not thinking it depraved.
Jane walked in the outreach
With the legend
"JESUS SAVES".


Two very different women
Died & went to God
It was then
Something happened...
Definitely odd!
Jane went before
The Father
He looked at her list.
All the things
Which she had done
All the marks she'd missed
But He then
Acquitted her!
He hugged her with love!
For to HIM
Her page was blank
For He saw JESUS' BLOOD!

Sue then stood
Before Him
He looked at
Her short note.
All things done
UNKNOWINGLY
Were what
The angels wrote.
How she'd transgressed
Her husband
By taking him
For granted
How she'd taken
The doctor's pen
And other things
She wanted
How she and her friends
Had laughed at
A girl in pain...

That the woman's guilty
That much was
Quite plain...


So Jane was then succored
Sue went on bereft
Jane stood on the right hand
Sue stood to the left.

For Jane was FORGIVEN
Her joy had no end...

Sue eternal torment
Because she was

CONDEMNED.

What's your stance,
My people?
Will you stand or FALL?
For God is always watching
And He judges

US ALL.


SøułSurvivør
(C) 10/2/2017

--Proverbs xxiv. 11, 12.

1.

I have done I know not what,--what have I done?
  My brother's blood, my brother's soul, doth cry:
  And I find no defence, find no reply,
No courage more to run this race I run
Not knowing what I have done, have left undone;
  Ah me, these awful unknown hours that fly
  Fruitless it may be, fleeting fruitless by
Rank with death-savor underneath the sun.
For what avails it that I did not know
  The deed I did? what profits me the plea
That had I known I had not wronged him so?
    Lord Jesus Christ, my God, him pity Thou;
  Lord, if it may be, pity also me:
    In judgment pity, and in death, and now.

2.

Thou Who hast borne all burdens, bear our load,
  Bear Thou our load whatever load it be;
  Our guilt, our shame, our helpless misery,
Bear Thou Who only canst, O God my God.
  Seek us and find us, for we cannot Thee
Or seek or find or hold or cleave unto:
We cannot do or undo; Lord, undo
  Our self-undoing, for Thine is the key
Of all we are not though we might have been.
  Dear Lord, if ever mercy moved Thy mind,
    If so be love of us can move Thee yet,
If still the nail-prints in Thy Hands are seen,
    Remember us,--yea, how shouldst Thou forget?
  Remember us for good, and seek, and find.

3.

Each soul I might have succored, may have slain,
  All souls shall face me at the last Appeal,
  That great last moment poised for woe or weal,
That final moment for man's bliss or bane.
Vanity of vanities, yea all is vain
  Which then will not avail or help or heal:
  Disfeatured faces, worn-out knees that kneel,
Will more avail than strength or beauty then.
Lord, by Thy Passion,--when Thy Face was marred
  In sight of earth and hell tumultuous,
    And Thy heart failed in Thee like melting wax,
And Thy Blood dropped more precious than the nard,--
    Lord, for Thy sake, not ours, supply our lacks,
  For Thine own sake, not ours, Christ, pity us.

(A missive to the "Thursday Guy")

Pause, I tight my eyelid,

there your face again,

Lovely and winning.

Suddenly Interfered my mind,

Thereupon rested and died.

I can no longer pick you up,

In an opening w/c is abounding

Abounded by the thoughts of you

My mind, I was speaking (of).

On the Ascension Day, Maundy and Holy alike,

I am smiling deepest and ceasing the time.

I held on for you, I stared then,

(though your eyes are daft),

Foolish, Crazy, even though I was,

every hour.

Oldness has gone, I flew.

Withal,

You are still a beauty even in fancy

In truth,

I cleave solely in your memory.

Your hair, dawning from your eyes

Succored the threshold of my fantasy.

I intend to whisper a truth

Some words that will embody my longing

I don't want you to, all but dwell on my fancy

But to breathe with me in solidity.

Please, once again, I want to gain a stare.

-C.

bleak darkness and its measure:
squandering the light
no definitions
no spectral haze
no inhibitions
its onerous labor is one
    with me.

live life at the edge of the fall.
holding a hand
fallibly.
live alone, love alone —
  these things pulse with strength
      in singleness, even the glances
of prying neighbors are sequestered
   reduced to sealed shut, hermetic,
      no sight or hindsight.

i'll run to where the sunlight is
   and wish for the moon, slumber
like a dead log adrift in the current.
buying myself love and selling its pleasures to defunct markets.
   trying to repair what is beyond salvation,
   trying to amalgamate what is perpetually
        scarred, sundered.

clangorous *** of metal, herding jeep
    and riotous chariots; mad men fill
the lines waiting for encumbrance,
     bardic in the streets of Marilao
hungry for something:
   give me a blank piece of paper
and i will try to reinvent the world
     with impunity and lostness.
the world gives back such awry stare
    and all imperative darkness reigns
supreme, mine are all emergencies
   as shadows are succored not,
retained in their caliginous thrones.

living alone
    yet not so much alone.
the dog outside does not bark anymore.
  the well-placed gnome of stone outside
      stares stonily across the thick space.
the nosy neighbor does not meddle
  through the rusted ocher grills.
the old moon wanes outside
   as the lift of light sways to where
there are no disappearances.
somewhere in the metropolitan there
   is a derby of fools and all mirth;
i wish myself there and curse my presence
      right then.
work does not fill me anymore,
    money does me no good. my soul
bangs the walls and slams the doors
     it threatens to leave without auguries,
and demands a new sense of necessity.

tonight, i will go out, drink at a local pub
   and crawl towards the ajar door of
  my father's car. smoke will caterwaul
the pressing scenes of the vicinities
    crumbling at the tremor of clocks;
i will open my dresser and discover
   all books dissipated, some naked
  in relished pages, others abeyant.

the curtain can fall later,
and the night too, falter evenly
widely spread across the sky.
    — all is broken.

bird droppings
from the skies I'd plummet
into the arms
of the open road
of the paved places
of the winding canal
of the idle city sleeping

drowsy in my somberness
quiet in my pain, I labored
spilling my blood with a copper's clamor
the din of supper, scraping rusting fork & spoon
'pon tin plate
to hear ravens' drowning cries
rattling in the tin can of my empty mind
searching for the truths devoured
by many come before
who wound me dearly
who loved me,
dearly
and craved every drop of blood
succored
every morsel of marrow
how they loved me,
my flavor
my scent
craved the texture of my soul
that decadent, succulent chew
the note of my fermented heart
the painsteaking cuisine of my hopes & fears
no monster could dare
devour
as humans do,
as humans do...

as human devour
whom they love...

and wherever you go
finding me,
as aimless trails
of loose change, on sidewalks
on open roads
in parking lots,
in the hot sun or shade
know they wandered there
in drunken stupors
as I fell out of the gullets
of their wanton avarice,
they lost me perpetually
spreading my worth,
as they spread their disease
cloven hooves clopping, clapping, clipping their way
away from the devastation
of the feast of my dying
like banks
emptying in my ruin
of the wake of my demise
their empires, falling
fiat failing
loose change spooling
like my passions,
my yearning for pleasures of flesh
they ***** every woman I ever adored
society,
in the desert of that lustful ******,
disemboweling...
establishments, perishing
grants, drying up
riverbeds, swamp-like
don't forget
how they,
you,
chose the love of money
over me,
as you butchered me,
like choice cattle
no golden calf could ever beat veal
no price could hold sway over the madness of their deal
how demons waited
gap-toothed smiles twinkling
eyes dark, cold, wanting, hungry
accepting every handshake with glorified glee
malice of eternities, met with mirth,
poured over sinful charity,
from those who destroyed the good
despite the evils that would follow

I was the innocence - the sacrifice,

they enjoyed every taste of my youth,
my joy, my spirit, my screams,

they enjoyed every taste of my innocence
despite every harrow,
nestled
in every mouthful,
like broken glass filling
in fillet mignon
******
good
fun...

and here I am
this one's yours
your own pretty penny
with no thoughts to spare
for your pennies could never purchase my thoughts
for my thoughts are worlds of real estate
no longer on the market
closed
like never-never land
a tombstone reads:

"Here lies,
he who never lived,
for living was too high a price,
for the world to bear being free,
due his freedom,
therefore, he died,
that they may remain slaves
to the devil's delights,
evermore..."

and no one was there
to proclaim forgiveness
that they, who ransacked, knew not what they did
for they, who ransacked, did know
and yet persisted
for the sake of their own yields of riches,
***, and a deep-rooted
desperate sin
called,

"greed"

A green, unseasoned ox
Was put unto the plow
A yoke was placed upon it
To work the master's rows
It balked at the job given
For it did not know how.

The master saw it's plight
He knew it had to learn
So he brought a great and seasoned ox
And a double yoke was worn
They both pulled a wagon
Filled from stem to stern.

The master tapped them with the reins
They both began to pull
The new and yet unknowing ox
Got it in its skull
To go a path that was unsafe
It's wits were yet quite dull.

So it balked again and cried
To go the other way
But the great and seasoned ox
Stood there in the fray
He allowed the younger ox
To buck and buck all day.

So finally the younger ox
Was tired, began to wheeze
It knew it was defeated
It's pride was finally seized
It bowed down in humility
And fell onto its knees.

The ox cried bitterly
In its enormous shame
The other ox was greatly moved
For its weeping out HIS NAME
He nuzzled it & stroked it
For HE was once the same.

The master, too, came off his seat
And succored the poor beast
He gave it food and water
Held it to his breast
The greater ox lay down with it
So that it could rest.

The young ox finally rallied
Was ready for the fight
Of pulling the great burden...
... but found that it was light!
For the greater ox was pulling, too
He stout and he forthright!

The master smiled proudly
The young ox would reach the goal...

And what WAS this great burden?

Billions of HUMAN SOULS...


SoulSurvivor
(C)1/28/2017


*"Come to me, all you who are weary
and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from
me, for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy,
and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30 NIV

Angling in the ocean unknown,
The waves of eternity swept by,
Creeping time brought along the coldness of fear,
With the warmth disappearing, I started ‘reeling in’ the doubts,
As I retracted, the child in me prodded not to,
With my ego bruised albeit slightly I waited in vain,
Countless minutes bygone my lure finally tugged,
My anticipation roused batting for the Giant Trevally,
Hesitantly I pulled out the gleaming fish amidst the engulfing darkness,
Oh Mackerel it was,
Desolate over the return of my travail,
With my bait questioned,
And my ‘success’ writhing in pain,
I was lost in the gamut of emotions absorbed,
The slap of the caudal fin my epiphany,
I alleviated the fish with a splash,
Liberated and succored by the ‘lowly’ mackerel,
It dawned upon me that
the CATCH was in giving rather than taking.

In 333 series of an onslaught,
Between to fight and to be
caught.
To live or to die,
To be free or to lie.

Many people were being
insulted
By this so-called contradictory.
They smote us,
But no one succored.

Reason? To purloin this
masterpiece,
Not to make this world
at peace.
Carnage, oppression, and
slavery–
These are just one of their
hobbies.

But now, we've successfully
defeated the opponent–
Came from the other continent.
We, the Nouvelle Ancestry
Will fight against this
inhumanity.

What is life but a passing glimpse into mortality,
Succored and soothed by some mysterious Deity.
We live, we love, we die,
Some of us struggle, others thrive.

Each person’s journey beautifully unique,
Some intersecting, most seemingly oblique;
The choices made define our path,
But chance and fate hold the last laugh.

Despite this truth we’re glad we’re here,
Greeting each new sunrise with hopeful cheer;
To breathe life’s air brings us delight,
Helping us heal from past suffering and plight.

The moral to be learned by one and all,
Is that after every storm and dreary squall,
The clouds part ways and the sun peeks through,
Followed by clear skies of the brightest blue.

is scrapped; a Lost Boy, messily hand writ,,
can’t resurrect from memory the title or the
subject, or the precise provocation that
made me need a pen worthy provenance in order to exit~express~expel~exhale
my disordered grievances and

an output likely of seeping deepening angst,
of a middle ages man, in a midlife proto-
typical crisis, which now vague recalled with
the sadness of just really longest period of
dark December nights, alone and hopeless

let the origin be mundane, simplistic and plain,
probably trite words of hand sleight, of an
excessive heavy light weight, going ** ** hi,
woe is me, a time of loss and reincarnation of xjoys when stumbling in a new life that coincided and collided and coordinated with a new century’s commencement,
would be my best guess, that,

this version of my whodunnit is acceptable
even if not accurate, ego permits lies of many
colors, but it grants me treasure by believing
that the joy journey subsequent recovered,
that keeps the little engine that could acooking, in a still-quiet mid of night humming productive is:

primal
ever intensifying,
lighting the unburdening of age-ing,
burning of dregs of going away midnight oils,

and oh my,
even why now
a quarter century later
the fingertips continue to tango cross a white
tableau, dotted with alphabets of words unknown,
only uncovering that all the old ones were quite a usefully alive, when succored in new
combative combinations


(happy~sad that it is diminished into the
nether, a far far better fate, than one I would
have likely selected; a lost child, of your own,
will always
always be,
be you eternally)

this cloak of tattered
wishes stitched and gathered
by weary fingers you
placed upon my shoulders
allowed me passage
through dreary nights
storm-ravaged
days
safe, though not entirely
unattacked
i climbed crawled dragged limped
just as you said
i could though i didn't
believe
over stony sharp crags
barren slopes
through treeless forests
where all the owls stood
earthbound
past clinging vines wet
and heavy with unfulfilled
dreams
into icy winds that rent flesh
from my sodden bones
into and upon waters so
deep and dark and roiled
not a human eye could see what
hells their depths succored
until at last
with the weight of never-ending night
the cloak
and i
reached forth and fell
limp
into your embrace