"smooshed" poems
"Still water runs deep." - Yiddish Proverb
To sail within a boat
never rocked or tucked within a sea.
Long grass kissing the bow.
Mosquito hum, siren stand-in.
Brother big, brother strong.
I, the groove of big brother's elbow.
Clothes on the line.
Canary yellow, A-line dress.
The spring girls swelling, rippling
from the bashful shore.
Big brother hold me over edge.
My arms, my oars.
Splashing pasture, blades receding.
Adults at birthday parties.
Brother big, brother mast.
Climb.
Not only sail, but zephyr, I.
Snake through Rusty Bike River,
the tributary.
Spill.
Into the wide, into the Harding Family Ocean.
Where dolls, hair frayed and faces smooshed,
lounge half-submerged and mostly forgotten.
Where sea dogs test chain, test spike.
Eye the confident chickens strolling dock.
And then Mother turns on porch lamp,
soft words, ebbing to lighthouse.
Brother big, big brother.
My arms, my arms.
Mar 17, 2013
Mar 17, 2013 at 4:56 AM UTC
bruised knees and bandaids
your mom is no longer your best friend, she'll scream words that burn your ears
she won't read you fairy tales before you fall asleep at night
CD's and ballet
school buses, new folders and the boy next door named Tyler
he'll want you for your body, he'll spread rumors throughout the school
you'll only want it to go away
girls you share laughter with and teachers you idolize
everything becomes different
the only thing you'll share with those girls is a pack of cigarettes and the stories you hear in the hallway
gummy bears and juice boxes have turned into prescription medicine and shots of *****
just wishing for one good day
your special blankie and your favorite hair bow
hidden in a closet behind the new skirt your dad doesn't like you wearing
disney movies, popcorn made on the stove and your whole family smooshed onto one couch on a friday night
those friday nights turn into another day of choking back cheap alcohol and ignoring your grandmother's emails
Nov 9, 2014
Nov 9, 2014 at 4:15 PM UTC
I found a spider crawling up
the drainpipe and it freaked me out
for a minute until I realized
that I am bigger than a spider
and no arachnophobe at heart
I am no arachnophile either though
and so I smooshed the spider
with a paper towel into the wall
thereby ending its life and sparing
me and those I love from spiderbites
(from this particular eight-legged foe)
And likely sparing the flies as well
But that's not so great
But I still forgive myself
for messing with the natural order of things
And I forgive everyone who kills spiders
and everyone who chooses not to **** spiders
And every spider who eats a fly
And every spider who bites a man
even if that man dies.
I still forgive the spider, even if
it is not my spider to forgive.
And I forgive every web-spinner and maker
of things which are stronger than steel
And I forgive you too if you let me
but I won't forgive you if you fear the spiders
and I won't forgive you for smooshing them
if it's irrational and not for the sake
of saving the potentially bitten,
or at least for the sake of the flies.
I can't ever forgive you for that
anymore than I can ever stop thinking
about you and what it meant to be your friend.
May 1, 2015
May 1, 2015 at 12:54 AM UTC
i would see you in the bed, with the blanket tucked underneath your big feet
which would probably be hanging off the bed
because you're so tall.
hair smooshed up against a pillow,
naked under the sheets.
you make little sound
other than your slow inhale and exhale
sleep suits you wonderfully
and i would take off my cardigan
then my shirt
then my skirt and tights
then my socks
then my bra
then my underwear
and for a few seconds, i would be very cold
but then, i would peel back the sea of blankets surrounding you
and feel the warmth being thrown into the universe by your skin
i would
i would kiss your shoulder
pour myself into the space between your arm and your waist
and nestle in deep, breathing in your scent
pulling the ocean back over us,
not giving you a chance to shudder at the cold.
you are
musky and soft, the scent of a log cabin in the woods
with bread baking inside
you are warm enough to bake me.
and your warmth
fills me up
like a cup of love
that you will pour for me in the morning
Jan 28, 2014
Jan 28, 2014 at 3:47 AM UTC
Take my heart out of the gutter and shake it ‘till it bleeds.
That lonely ************ can’t breathe
unless the sinews stitch back together
like the veins of leaves,
all smooshed by heels and debris.
My heart can’t see.
Laying in that gutter; it can only believe.
Jan 14, 2016
Jan 14, 2016 at 5:16 AM UTC
I've never seen the sunrise as beautiful as the one I watched rise over you.
You had fallen asleep.
You had told me to wake you up if you did, you really wanted to see it.
But you're just so **** cute when you sleep.
The suns first rays shown through your golden hair, refracting the light into a beautiful spectrum of colors.
I leaned back on our blankets and sat up. Criss cross apple sauce, I took a pack of Luckies from my coat pocket. We had smooshed them at some point in our late night adventures but they were still intact.
With a unlit cigarette in between my lips which had grown so accustumed to kissing yours I looked at you. You were lying on your side, facing me with your back to the sun. The dew on the grass was surrounding our mound of blankets much like heart break had been circling our love; Threatening to precede but not truly troublesome.
Nov 26, 2012
Nov 26, 2012 at 9:05 PM UTC
Only heaven knows
Where this is going to go
But have you ever stopped long enough
To take a look at your toes
The ones on the right
The ones on the left
How over time
They all look so different
While some seem smashed
Or is that smooshed
Either way that you say
Look at the way that they look
They do love to be free
Fresh air makes them wiggle
And when touched have the need
To laugh out loud giggle
One look at my toes
Shows they're bent out of shape
If they had tongues to talk
Who knows what they would say
With a tuft of hair in each center
Punk rock piggies at their best
I decide as an after thought
To paint each Mohawk red
Told you only heaven knows
Where this was going to go
When I stopped for just a minute
To gander at my toes
Jun 2, 2016
Jun 2, 2016 at 10:28 AM UTC
That ****** me up.
That thing you said.
And then you left me
all sticky
Your slimy words in my head.
It worked.
Mission accomplished.
I am indeed
A self fulfilling prophecy.
Why is that
Heavy things flatten me out.
And when im smooshed
You can flutter about.
Mar 3, 2015
Mar 3, 2015 at 10:09 AM UTC
I wish we were a sandwich
Simple would suffice
Smooshed between the slices
with you would be so nice
You could be my jelly
your sweet as sweet can be
I am simply nuts for you
Crunchy PB's the one for me
We go so great together
I know you feel it too
I offer you this sandwich
to show that I love you
Jun 8, 2023
Jun 8, 2023 at 8:32 AM UTC
Ready for the swirl
Not afraid of fast, ugly, disgusting
Reality.
With the goofy grin of
Puzzled euphoria,
I rush through the tube.
Everything is on parade,
Smooshed and swirled beyond individuality or recognition.
I don't mind.
Why have preferences?
It's all getting in the <divided by zero>
Parade anyway.
Nov 16, 2015
Nov 16, 2015 at 12:37 AM UTC
Everyone is always trying to explain what love is
Love is nothing and everything
It is the unseen beauty that keeps life flowing
Love is the thing that builds
Heartbreak is the thing that destroys
They are not the same
Love is the look of a weary soul coming home
After a long day and wanting
Just to rest,
Believing the night has nothing left to offer
But being delivered sustenance
Followed by quiet listening
Love is playing a game to ease the pain
Cuddling to ease the weariness that consumes
Destroy weariness, for it creates doubt,
Love is sleeping beside each other,
And laughing at each other
Because each night
Someone is being smooshed into the corner of the bed
Love is the tears of a petty fight
That erupts from jealousy
Love lurks in the fear of losing it all
Love is in hope
Whether it's only one of you
Or the both
Love is there
Love is in the idea of marriage
In the hopes it'll happen
and if it does or has that it will last forever
Love is in their eyes,
And how they try to crack a smile
Even when they feel down and depressed
Love is there
Love is here
I can never give up on such a wonderful thing
Love in the beginning
Love in the middle
Love in the end
And Love forever.
Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015 at 11:06 PM UTC
Mostly a head
With a big absorbing sensing *****
At the mouth
A great column conveys into her perceiver
And keeps moving through
The back of her head
Into a distant vanishing point
Everything is stretched and smooshed
In the yellow umbilical column
All the information from each moment
Runs down the column into her
She feeds and reads the information
Time moves for her to be nourished
With all that happens
In our world which generates the information
She consumes.
Nov 24, 2015
Nov 24, 2015 at 10:18 AM UTC
Stuffed animals and posters of Corbin Bleu
could have never prepared me for this moment.
Your hands touch me back like the pictures never could.
Your deliberate and calculated movements tell me
your experience is not just limited to teddy bears.
My arms are not as adept as yours,
not as practiced.
I have spaghetti limbs and wobbly knees.
You say I’m a fast learner but something tells me you're humoring my fumbles,
my awkward hands, and hesitant tongue.
You maneuver your frozen hands
under my Hello Kitty graphic tee.
My newly awakened ******* are firm yet flexible
like buds before a blossom.
Be gentle, the buds are fragile.
You fiddle with my zipper and reach into my daisy print *******
These petals are not yet ready to be plucked.
Not ready to be stolen and scattered in
a game of “she loves me, she loves me not”
But I cannot seem to release
the one word that could save me.
I am quite literally petrified,
suspended in this moment like
one of those prehistoric dragonflies in amber.
My brain has called a moratorium on movement.
It waits for a moment of safety
for my wings to start beating again.
You will smoke me like one of your cigarettes.
Twisting me in your yellow fingers.
Taking drags of my innocence.
Until I am used and smooshed into the sidewalk.
I will not realize this until later.
Because I am somehow addicted to your type of nicotine.
Tears become crystallized in their ducts.
One touch could shatter me.
I plaster a smile on my face,
but even concrete crumbles.
My face shakes.
My mask falls.
The facade you wanted to **** disappears.
I am more vulnerable than I ever have been
Apr 19, 2019
Apr 19, 2019 at 4:49 AM UTC
Back in elementary school, they used to ask if we had telepathy.
If we could magically read each other’s thoughts,
and talk without words.
Our answer was always yes.
In reality, we both knew we couldn’t.
But back then,
we were still young enough to pretend magic existed.
So I’d face him, cross my fingers,
and pray we were still close enough to understand each other—
just this once.
As we got older, our answers started to differ.
I think that’s when I noticed we were slipping.
Another question they asked:
Could we feel each other’s pain?
He always told them he could feel when I got sick,
when I got my period,
when I was hurting in my head.
Me?
I couldn’t feel a thing.
Sometimes I barely noticed when he was hurting.
But God…
if I could’ve taken his pain into my own body,
I’d have done it ten times over.
And again.
And again.
And again.
Until the only pain he ever felt
was the cramping from my periods.
They asked if we were close.
I thought we were.
I think he did too.
Truth is,
he’s been the only person I’ve known since birth
who’s still here.
I held onto him tightly.
Too tightly, maybe.
I told him what to do—not to control him,
but because I was scared he’d drift.
Scared that if he found better friends,
I’d be replaceable.
Disposable.
Maybe I still am.
But all I know is I’m still here.
Because of him.
Someday, we’ll drift.
I know we will.
He’ll have a life, and so will I.
Someday I’ll flip through old photographs
when I’m wrinkled and slow,
and my grandchildren will ask about the boy next to me,
the one holding me so tightly my face is smooshed.
And I’ll tell them,
“That was my best friend.”
I’ll close my eyes,
and wish I was still young enough to believe
forever might exist.
When I sleep, I’ll be fourteen again.
You’ll still be there.
And that’s all I ever wanted.
In your own house,
you’ll hear birdsong outside your window.
And you’ll remember me—
because I always told you I’d haunt you in every life.
Even as a bird.
But in every universe,
I’ll be your sister.
And in each one,
I’ll hold you closer during the times I didn’t know how to.
I’ll tell you I love you,
so you never doubt I was there for you.
I hope someone loves growing old with you
as much as I loved growing up with you.
Aug 13, 2025
Aug 13, 2025 at 12:02 AM UTC
Heart clinch
A gut pinch
Look at the screen
Can't see clear
My phone is shaking
My hands are shaking
Sounds amplified
Hearts pounds magnified
Narrow vision
And eyes that can't focus
**** I wonder if anyone noticed.
Neurons linking and multiplying till it becomes a crowd pit
Thoughts smooshed to the edge of the stage
Screaming quick solve it!
They shout and they scream in support for existential fear
Sounds amplified
Heart pounds magnified
Narrow vision
And eyes that can't focus
**** I wonder if anyone noticed
They're still talking
Walking
Chilling out smoking
It's not that big of a deal
There's nothing to fear
Just another panic attack gone
Un-noticed
Oct 24, 2018
Oct 24, 2018 at 4:48 PM UTC